The Pot Licker

October 23, 2007 | Filed under: "The Pot Licker"

“Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all.” ~Harriet van Horne

My love for Trader Joe’s runs deep and withstands distance and time. Every moment that I’m able to be in a Trader Joe’s is one more minute of nirvana and hope that I can successfully transport a jar of organic blueberry preserves back to NY without TSA thinking that it’s implanted with some sort of honing device or liquid nitrogen. It is also ridiculously convenient because at any point in time that you’re craving gnnochi with gorgonzola, they have it there. Frozen and ready to pop into a microwave and make genuine deliciousness. Also all of their rice comes in packages and takes no longer than three minutes to cook. Which means more time to sit around watching Pageant Place and teasing the cat with bits of tofurky.

I have this strange addiction to frozen meals. If it comes in a package and can be heated in five minutes or less then I want to marry it and have its babies. You should see me around a Healthy Choice tomato and basil panini, we might have cute little delicious smelling babies sporting mini afros, because that’s how strong my love is. I think it’s normal for busy people to crave convenience. I have the job and the incessant travel and the having of a life and the aforementioned watching of poor reality television and there is just busyness.

The above explains why my mother’s jaw had to be surgically removed from the floor when I mentioned something about cooking. When I mentioned actually putting food in an oven or turning on a stove with a pilot light and I think she just envisioned me losing my eyebrows or my kitchen spontaneously combusting. So I promised that I would start easy with the cooking. Nothing too strenuous and ‘quick’ and hopefully edible.

It’s hard to go wrong with penne pasta. I mean you boil water, put the pasta in and add sauce or cheese or perhaps roasted tomatoes with garlic and olive oil that smells like heaven while roasting. Along with some cannellini beans and my rather wide vegetarian ass is suddenly pumped with protein and happiness.

And as an added bonus, I enjoy taking photos – albeit completely shitty and amateur, photos – of food. Food doesn’t talk back or move or try to lick you when you’re trying to take a shot. Food doesn’t holler out “Make sure you get my good side!” or “Photoshop my hips!” when you have about 7 seconds to capture a moment.

Recipe from the Food Network:

3 large tomatoes, cut into wedges
4 cloves garlic, unpeeled
2 tablespoons olive oil
1/4 teaspoon salt
Freshly ground black pepper
1(15 ounce) can cannellini beans
1/2 pound penne pasta
1/4 cup fresh basil leaves, torn
2 tablespoons freshly grated Parmesan

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F.

Slice each tomato into 8 wedges and discard the seeds. Put the tomato wedges and garlic into a 9 by 13-inch roasting pan. Drizzle with 1 tablespoon of olive oil and sprinkle with salt and a few turns of pepper. Roast in the oven, uncovered, for 40 minutes.

Drain the beans into a large colander in the sink. Cook the pasta according to the directions on the package. Drain the pasta into the colander containing the beans, so the hot pasta water will warm the beans. Return drained pasta and beans to the pasta pot.

When the tomatoes are done, pick out the garlic cloves, squeeze the garlic out of the skin into a small bowl and mash with a fork. Pour the roasted tomatoes into the pasta pot, add the garlic, the remaining 1 tablespoon of olive oil, the basil and additional salt and pepper, to taste. Toss to combine. Serve topped with the Parmesan.

Comfort food

April 18, 2007 | Filed under: Whoopdie Doo

“Optimism is the foundation of courage.” ~Nicholas Murray Butler

Trader Joe’s makes this amazing macaroni and cheese. It involves gouda and havarti, two of my favorites and butter, my second favorite food group behind fermented grapes. Abi wrote a review about it and since then I’ve been hooked. It’s become my go to food when I need a little warmth and well, comfort in me. It’s the food version of the fetal position, though the fetal position has considerably less calories.

Despite the sometimes, rough exterior, I need a little comfort in my life, especially as of late. I need to be held and to be told that I will be ok and that I’m great (and hot and pretty and that my ass looks good in my jeans). I need reassurance.

Last night I turned to LB who hugged me and celebrated with me and got be drunk on Costco size bottle of Pinot Noir. She helped me with the pros and cons of things right now and then I made the biggest decision I’ve ever made in my life, even bigger than the PC vs. Mac debacle. At any rate she comforted me with chocolates and Mahill brought neopolitan ice cream which I mixed together so that all the flavors melted into one another. That’s always comforted me as well.

Stacy talked with me, despite my inebriation about the evils of depression and she comforted me as well. LB and Stacy were like my Mac & Cheese last night. Just making me feel better and less likely to vomit and hyperventilate and more willing to get excited and be happy for myself and for everything that I have going on right now. Even when I don’t feel like I deserve it.

I’m comforted enough to be confident in going in today and putting in my two weeks notice.

Taste test

February 10, 2007 | Filed under: La Madre

“One of the very nicest things about life is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing and devote our attention to eating.” ~Luciano Pavarotti

This morning during breakfast at Town Hall:

“You know what I had yesterday for the first time ever?”

::blank stare::

“Oatmeal. It was really good. It’s opened up a whole new world for me. You should try it”

::dies::

*****
I always want to know the little things about people. First and last names especially, since I’m prone to calling you such. Also how those names came about, favorite things, passions, and taste in music. So now I through out there food preferences. I’m often asked why I am a vegetarian; given that the odds of a black female raised by very southern parents who think that ribs should be eaten by the slab and bacon should have it’s own food group, are about 1,700,987 to 1. It has nothing to do with animal cruelty given that I am fond of sticking my nose inside of a Coach bag because leather smells delicious. It’s because I was never a big meat eater in the first place, so I figured why not. Or maybe it had something to do with the number of Big Macs consumed as a child and now I am averse to a quarter pound of meat. In fact my stomach is churning with the thought.

But yes, food. I feel passion for chevre, Trader Joe’s mac and cheese and the avacado.

God, I’m tired

November 7, 2006 | Filed under: La Madre

Edit to Add: So, on ocassion, I’ll get emails from people wanting for me to write for them for actual money. Who knows the validity of them, because I usually read and then laugh; because really, have you read the content here that you think is so great? Like, really read it, not just skimmed. Yeah, do that and then come back to me. I just read what I wrote over the past 48 hours and I sound like a spastic person on crack. Which is kind of close given the amount of candy from the wonderful world of Willy Wonka that I have consumed. In fact I’m pretty unsure of how I’m functioning right now and people that know me in real life will probably question the same and I’ll just have to respond with, Bottle Caps, don’t underestimate the power of some good old fashion Bottle Caps.

“Life is one long process of getting tired.” ~Samuel Butler

Tired in a way that is totally and incoherently indescribable and would only make sense if you knew me in real life because then you’d pat my head and say “poor baby” while whispering sweet nothings in my ear and feeding me chocolate covered strawberries. And my, whew, it’s getting a little hot in here, no? Apparently some deep rooted fantasies have just come out there.

Anywho, tired, but going strong with the NaBloPoMo because I’m woman hear me roar, but whimpering woman who is so god damn tired and full of Mexican food and random stuff from TJ’s. TJ’s is the devil if you don’t have one near you. I’d link to it, but we don’t want everyone succumbing to the will of the Devil. Unless you want to keep me company in the fiery depths of Hell, well then go for it!

Look! Rambling again. Shutting up now because it’s Election Day. A good Election Day. And please don’t misinterpret my babble for sadness, but instead of joy, but holy motherfucker, I’m tired.

Oh, yes! Per Jes’ suggestion I forgot to mention the Hoagies. HOAGIES. AN AWARD. FOR ME! VOTE (or Die!).* Gah, but I’m not that rude, I do thank you all immensely for nominating me for I have always wanted to be the proud owner of a gold turkey and I do love jelly beans. But seriously, many, many thanks.

Exactly how does one end an incoherent rant about nothing? How about: The End.

*Pimp much? Yup.

Randomosity

January 9, 2006 | Filed under: La Madre

“Leisure: A fancy word for people who don’t want to admit they’re bored.” ~Gene Perret

I really was going to write a post with actual sentences and profound thoughts about my weekend. Really, I swear I was. But now I’m just way too above that crap. I mean really, who the hell wants to read a coherent sentence that proves that at one point in life, I did pass English with an A? I’m starting a new trend-ok, not really-of saying fuck it to the literary Gods and my English teachers. I’m not writing in actual sentences, I’m going the bullet point* route for the day and if they (or you) don’t like it, you can kiss my….ok, moving on now.

My weekend went something like this: Vidalia, Spank with the wonderful and lush duo of Namaste and DC Cookie (and DCB was there too) where the grey goose was flowing and I was pretty drunk by the time I saw them, but as I recall, I had a good time. Saturday was surprisingly hangover free and a trip to VA to hit up trader joe’s where I spent a grand total of $9. Sunday included another trip to VA for La Tasca with Kimber.

Do you see the excitement of the weekend…? I’m just a regular party animal.

Now it’s Monday and after viewing pictures of myself courtesy of Cookie, I promptly became a member of the Washington Sports Club and had to re-budget my life, but that’s ok because if you saw these pictures you’d beg me to lose 20lbs as well.

What else have I got for you…hmmm…oh, I realized (on my own) how much a particular friend of mine completely and utterly sucks and I am quite literally the last person to realize this and ahhh I feel so much better now. Oh and it’s restaurant week and I get to go to DC Coast for the low low price of $30.06 and it also means a good amount of babysitting for the weekend because I’m broke and I just have to go to Paris. Not want to, but have to.

So um yeah, maybe things will pick up and I’ll get an exciting life that doesn’t involve budgeting and trips to Trader Joes as sources of entertainment. Now please tell me that your weekends were considerable more exciting (save for the Namaste/Cookie part) than mine.

And one more thing, I was nominated for a bloggie. I’ll try not to forget about you when Simon and Schuster call ::ahem::. Thanks Kris!

*notice that there were no actual bullet points.