“I might get pregnant, but then there were miscarriage, still birth, and SIDS to worry about – not to mention the inevitable misery when my baby left for college and stopped returning my calls. My anxiety was so practiced and efficient that I could begin with a small thing in the present, and be fretting within moments about hypothetical events 20 years in the future. “ – Alexa Stevenson
First and foremost I will say that I was requested to write this review by Alexa Stevenson herself. Her request was that I write a review about her memoir Half Baked from the perspective of a blogger who has read her fair share of blog to book works. I’ve ended a number of those books with a succinct, “Well I just paid $14.95 for their blog in hardcover. Thanks, Penguin!” With that disclaimer out of the way I can now move to the meat of this book and it’s impact on my…well…my everything.
Bloggers slowly but surely, become well versed at paring down the full story to only its most interesting bits. We keep the rest for ourselves tucked away for later. For surely a simple blog post need not require 27 paragraphs. I have been a loyal reader of Flotsam for the last three years and with entrance of the “Science Babies” into the story arch, I always knew that there had to more. So Alexa does what we would want any blogger with a compelling story to do; she tells the rest. The nitty gritty and parts of her are laid flat to bare as she conveys to her readers what she has been waiting the past two years to say.
And says it all she does. If you are unfamiliar with Alexa’s story – perhaps you’re just stopping by briefly and this is the first thing you read – the story follows an anxiety ridden woman’s quest to have a baby. But it isn’t that simple. Though is it ever? Alexa leads us from the beginning where she’s standing in her kitchen “pondering [her] backside” and where exactly to place a needle with her husband Scott to those first contractions explained in such detail that I grasped the fleshy part of my tummy soothing my terrified uterus. Then to the meeting of her son Ames who passed away much to soon. And walks us meticulously through each of her daughter Simone’s ailments and bumps along the way to, through and out of the NICU.
“Without fail, daily, I listen to ‘What’s My Name?’ by Snoop Dogg, and Biggie singing ‘Juicy.’ I feel bolstered and hardcore, ready for whatever may come, my loins girded with fierce bravado. The volume is loud enough, I am certain, that the beat travels my bloodstream, and I imagine Simone dancing inside me as she throws her fetal hands in the motherfucking air, and waves those tiny motherfuckers like she just don’t care.”
As readers of Flotsam blog we already know the ending. We know that Simone is a little cherub. She’s an opinionated two year old full of words and personality. Though even know we know what will happen next you will not be help but root for Simone and her mother and laugh and cry with them as they traverse what was once unknown.
On a personal note what has drawn me to Alexa over these years is that we forged our bond over a constant worry over what might happen. The What Ifs far outweighed what was happening in the present and that is the crux of this book: That a woman who constantly feared the worst finally faces it. And she writes it all with a pure vulnerability sometimes pain, that there were moments when I needed to stop reading to breathe. I stopped, went to Flotsam to see Simone right there smiling and knowing that things would, in fact, be OK.
But how did I miss this? You might ask yourself as you read. Or why didn’t she say anything? Because as it’s going on and one is caught in turmoil of life it is difficult to paint that perfect picture complete with the particulars and complexities that a story of waiting and wanting deserves. With Half Baked Alexa allows us into one of the most painful, surprising and beautiful moments of her life. She tells the entire tale and it’s a story to read and be grateful for as she lets us in to the most vulnerable parts of her life. She does so with such eloquence and attention to detail that we cannot wait to go back for more.
“Nursing, is I think the most intimate profession…Nurses witness and care for us at our most vulnerable. They clean up our fluids; they give us sponge baths. They see us when we are afraid and when we are dying. They hold our emesis basins and they are the ones who remain after the doctor who has given bad news is gone”
*I am giving away a signed (boo-yah) copy of Half Baked. All you have to do is leave a comment by Saturday, September 18 at noon EST. I will then pick a name at random and send you your signed (again I say BOO-YAH) copy.
Why do you love photography?
“There are always two people in every picture: the photographer and the viewer.” ~Ansel Adams
Just before BlogHer I purchased an Epiphanie camera bag to house my SLR. It had been living a dusty, change-filled life at the bottom of my handbag du jour. And when I wasn’t acting like money grows on trees and I could buy myself another one if I happened to ruin my (very) expensive camera; I kept it in a little sleeve thing. I’m not sure of the exact name except that the sales guy at B&H once told me that it’s the equivalent of keeping my camera in a sock. Very helpful.
I had been at the Mom 2.0 summit where people like Karen Walrond (seen here) were carrying one of these most lovely bags around and I kept following her like a puppy begging to touch it and then she’d shoot daggers out of her eyes every time I breathed on the thing. And then it was BlogHer where the only thing I ever really needed with me at all times was my camera and two lenses. So! What the hell? I had an Epiphanie.
Have you all seen these bags? That photo above is of my friend Isabel with the red Lola. Doesn’t that bag make her shine? Look. I’m hard to please. I have very specific criteria on my needs and wants and I research the crap out of everything because I look for function along with style. I have to own accessories that will compliment the rest of the outfit and give me that last bit of oomph. These bags do that in more. Actually it’s gotten to the point where I often carry my Epiphanie around with me sans camera. Or if I do have my camera people are all, “Great bag! Where’d you get it?” and then I’m all wait until you see what’s inside! And then my 300 mm lense jumps out and yells SURPRISE! Like that.
I ended up meeting creator Maile Wilson during BlogHer when she saw me with my Lola in black and asked if she could take a photo of me with it. Then I wanted to hug her and tell her how much I adore her and she’s so gracious and smart and pretty and shiny. Actually that conversation happened later after several glasses of champagne when I kept thanking her for my bag and begged her to do a giveaway.
She said yes.
And now we’re here.
It’s my birthday. I’m 27 to be exact. And I really enjoy you guys, writing in this space and those of you who have followed me over to Poliogue. I figured that today was a great day to have a giveaway so that one of you lucky people can win an Epiphanie bag of your own. Even better, just yesterday Maile & Co. completed the new site and previewed her newest creations. Oh! You guys! I’m debating between Clover (named after the too adorable for words daughter of the lovely Rachel Devine) and Paris which, CUTE! It’s my birthday and Christmas will be here soon. We all deserve a little something awesome, don’t you think?
Here’s the deal: In the comments you must respond to this question: Why do you love photography? You get one comment. Comments will close at 8AM EST on Friday, October 29th. The winner will get to go over to the brand! new! Epiphanie site (they’re also on Facebook and Twitter, of course) and pick out the camera bag of her (or his) choice.
Sound good? I’ll start. I am not a photographer but I love to take photos in order to capture brief moments like that photo of Isabel above. She’s gorgeous, I know but what matters is that I captured her in her element, having a good time. I hate taking posed shots but instead I use my 50 mm to catch you being you. Getting you mid-sentence or laughing as if no one is watching is seeing you at your most authentic. I like seeing people when they’re real even if the moments are fleeting.
Now your turn. Good luck!