Category Archives: On Happiness

27 hours


“Gratitude is an art of painting an adversity into a lovely picture.”  ~Kak Sri

I went to DC for 27 hours. And it took exactly 27 hours for me to get a massive headache due to the whirlwind of being in DC. It was one of those instances where everything happens at once, a cacophony, tornado type thing that has you ducking and dodging and holding on for dear life waiting for something else to come whizzing past your face. The next thing you know you’re on a train back to the airport praying that Elin Nordegren would smack you in the head with a golf club. It was far too much at once and I’m all at once bursting and blessed and freaking the fuck out. And tired. As in currently writing this from my bed at 8:24 AM.

Rawr!

Fish in the bathroom at PS 7's

Dinner date.

On the way to Virginia this afternoon.

The above is pretty representative of how being in DC makes me feel: Genuinely happy and appreciative. And let’s face it, there’s really nothing cooler than being at a stop light for the fastest trip to Nordstrom ever (seriously, EVER. I couldn’t even look at the Stuart Weitzmans because I had my timer set to 11 minutes) and looking out and seeing the Washington monument. Just sitting there, being all monumental and massive and the sunlight was hitting it at the perfect spot and that tree helped to frame it beautifully. The flags at the base were that extra touch. Because sometimes everything comes together, unexpectedly, at the right time, in the right way and all you can do is be thankful.

Also posted in The District Of Columbia | 2 Comments

French 75 Night

The summer night is like a perfection of thought.”  ~Wallace Stevens

Speaking of moving a body, I’d call these two to help. They’re pretty high up on my list:

We get to do this in the summer; these random get-togethers. This was the night that I made French 75′s but was running late because I forgot the lemons. Lemons are crucial to the French 75, they give it that citrusy essence as you sip your gin and juice. And by juice I mean champagne. But this was that night that we convinced Alana to sleepover and consumed all the champagne in the house, used up all the simple syrup and then all of the lemons. One of those nights where you sit outside until God knows when – because of course you don’t remember – and you belly laugh while sitting in your jammies. Never mind the children you think, they were all tucked in but the grown ups had sticky fingers and were diving into the potato chips and taking photos of a random tree frog that made it’s appearance on the porch. It was one of those nights where the following morning you see the remnants of the evening before strewn everywhere. Every part of your body aches from a hangover and you can only open one eye rather painfully to look at the time before plopping back into bed. The next morning Doug came and I’m pretty sure all I could do was stare at him while willing myself not to vomit. No, no, not because of Doug. Doug is lovely but because there’s something about that champagne and gin cocktail that goes down so easy but leaves you reeling in the morning.

It was one of those summer nights where you can afford to be spontaneous because quite literally nothing is going on. There’s no snow to fear or leggings under your leggings. Everything is so much easier, you know? I suddenly miss those lazy evenings of grilling and then sitting around, legs swinging and with a flip flop hanging off your big toe. You know you could use another pedicure but, eh, it can wait. Everything passes slowly with a tinge of indolence and fresh cut grass in the air. I miss those nights. Achingly so. They’ll be here soon enough of course but with this relentless weather as of late, it’s hard not to shut your eyes and imagine porch swings and champagne cocktails. And sand. Ah yes, I get the faintest whiff of beach.

Posted in On Happiness | 5 Comments

Who will help you move a body?

“A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere.  Before him I may think aloud.  I am arrived at last in the presence of a man so real and equal, that I may drop even those undermost garments of dissimulation, courtesy, and second thought, which men never put off, and may deal with him with the simplicity and wholeness with which one chemical atom meets another. ” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Brene Brown. I’m sorry, DOCTOR Brene Brown did the opening keynote at BlissDom. During her presentation she said something that resonated with me for the entire weekend: She asked us to tear off a piece of paper and write down the names of the people in your life who would help you move a body. The people you could go to for anything and everything. The people who instead of judgment would grab your face with both hands and say “Ok, we can do this together and you will be alright.” That friend. If you had asked me six years ago which of my friends would help me move a body, the friend who would do nothing more than want me to be ok, I would have said LB. She’s on that list still but I wouldn’t have guessed that two 40 something moms would make that list as well. I would have never imagined that the first person I would call while in tears or to discuss my sex life or would be Chris and Susan.

During my sophomore year of college I disappeared for a weekend. Not far, just to the apartment I recently rented down the street from campus. After a few days had passed I felt ok again, like I could face the world so I went back to campus and LB was so, so mad at me. She just looked at me and with utter disappointment she said, “We will talk about this later” and walked away. Later in the day we sat in the Mary Graydon Center and she said, “What’s the matter with you? You can’t just disappear like that. I worried about you. Didn’t you have friends who worried about you?” The things is that I hadn’t. I didn’t have real friends – you know the kind that actually give a shit if your crying and love you just the same. The friends that you regard as family. I didn’t have friends like that until college. Isn’t that sad? Or maybe it’s just pathetic? Or maybe I should tell you about me in middle through high school with my clarinet and high-water pants and sweater vests. Yes, the sweater vest.

The friends that you make as an adult you choose not because they’re in your homeroom but because when something happens, you know, those days when you are total flaming bitch and horrible, they will still want to make sure you’re ok. They’ll reach out to your other body moving friends just to check on you. They’ll let you sleepover and cuddle and will stay up until 2 AM with you discussing Didacticism and then three hours later will bring you to the airport with a cup of coffee to go. Those are the friends who will help you move a body. They’ll embrace you despite your flaws and that is what I keep going back to.

They love you despite your flaws. It’s those six words that make all the difference. All the difference in the world.

Also posted in That's Life | 5 Comments

Reprise

The act of putting pen to paper encourages pause for thought, this in turn makes us think more deeply about life, which helps us regain our equilibrium. ~Norbet Platt

In July I came within inches of sacrificing my skull in order to save my MacBook. But when it comes to MacBook vs. Concrete, concrete always wins. Now fast forward to the following days, weeks and months where it felt like I had lost all hope in anything and everything. To describe the feeling of not being comfortable enough to write and not have the tools that I personally need to write is something like having each of your fingers broken. Slowly and methodically. Without one it’s like, ‘Eh, I’ve got another thumb’ and then going down the line it’s suddenly like your pinky finger is the greatest thing ever and if it ever gets fixed you’ll coddle that little pinky and buy it presents. And a giant ass cocktail ring.

So that’s what happened in JULY. And I spent all of those months without a laptop of my own. Which is Total First World Problems, playing the world’s tiniest violin but it’s my baby. My comfort. It’s my mac & cheese and fried chicken. And without my laptop I was without my writing groove. I tried. I really did. But never found that comfy spot. I would write and everything would feel off, the words went on the page but it didn’t feel good to put it out.

I want to feel good not just about my writing but about my space and my mojo. I have long professed that my ability to write isn’t without it’s glaring irregularities and mistakes and, oh, those superfluous commas. But there’s something about the tapping of the keys with the ‘Write on, Writer’ playlist on in the background. Now I have a new laptop and it was better than Christmas Day. It was my birthday, Christmas and Election Day all rolled into one which is pretty much my orgasm of a day. I don’t know how you feel about watching electoral returns on a CNN magic green screen but dude, it totally makes me hot.

With my laptop will also come three CF cards full of photos. Photos in RAW. Which means that I’m going to spend the next five months posting photos of the last five months. There are photos I still have from Denver and BlogHer. Photos of people who have since had like six kids and of a baby who was two months old at the time her photo was taken and just yesterday graduated from high school.

I’m about to inundate you with my narcissism and I’m so excited! Aren’t you?

Also posted in On Writing | 1 Comment

Learning how to Dougie

“There are short-cuts to happiness, and dancing is one of them.”  ~Vicki Baum

 

My very favorite thing to do while at an event with a dance floor is the Cupid Shuffle. Seriously, nothing makes me happier than a floor full of people. It’s like my private flash mob. Earlier this year I caught the Dougie bug and since then Cali Swag District has been my go to, dance in the car music. Complete with shoulder popping and hip moving at a redlight. Oh yes, I am that woman. I found these videos via The Root yesterday and for the past 24 hours I’ve been teaching myself how to Dougie. I figure if Wolf Blitzer can do it with as much rythym as Janet Jackson’s nation then I can to. Next time I’m out remind me to do a little swagger. I promise not to disappoint.

Barbara Walters Dougies.

Wolf Blitzer does it, too.

The official video by Cali Swag District

Also posted in Humdrum | 5 Comments