“There are only two emotions in a plane:  boredom and terror.”  ~Orson Welles

We interrupt these great NaBloPoMo posts of late to instead bring you an update on the whereabouts of our intrepid host. You see, originally she had plans to show you photos of the most delicious cupcakes she’s ever made in life or perhaps she was going to tell you about her utterly pleasant day that involved sitting around over a leisurely breakfast just chatting away and laughing her ass off and then an empty IKEA store for her to roam. But all of this was brought to a sudden halt when as she was about to tell you about kittens and rainbows she experienced the worst turbulence she has ever experienced in her life. Not to brag but I don’t know if you know that your host has flown across the Atlantic like 12 times. She’s flown between Europe and Africa and back again. She’s flown across the United States, never north but often south and not once has she ever had the pleasure of experiencing turbulence so bad that she didn’t know whether to curl up in the fetal position and accept her fate or vomit while going bumpity, bump, bump over the Delaware River. She quickly ceased with all writing and overuse of adjectives to grip white knuckled to her armrest with Baltimore so close yet so far away.

Hopefully we’ll hear from her tomorrow. After the nausea has subsided and she’s secured a train ticket back to her home 400 miles north. But for now we wait and hope that come morning she won’t exclaim fuck flying and decide on driving everywhere. Though if that is the case, how do you all feel about chipping in for a Subaru?