Category Archives: Humdrum

Thanks to Crystal Light for sponsoring this post. To learn more about how Crystal Light can flavor your day with 30 refreshing flavors, visit http://www.facebook.com/crystallight

“Life is not merely to be alive, but to be well. ” ~Marcus Valerius Martial

I’m typing this very carefully so as not to wake a sleeping cat. The one who is all curled up in that warm spot between my bent legs. The one who, if woken up, will jump over my laptop and onto my head as if I’m not a living, breathing creature who doesn’t want claw marks on her face. See also; what an asshole. Squinting by the light of my laptop I can see that it’s 3:54 AM so I have a few more minutes of typing before I have to get dressed for spinning. What? You don’t go to spinning at 5:30 in the morning? In the dark, in the icy cold winter, swearing under your breath and maybe giving the finger to the guy at Dunkin’ Donuts? Huh? How interesting. I do because a) insanity dictates that I do things others wouldn’t normally contemplate b) if I don’t do it now, I won’t ever do it and three days later my favorite shirt won’t go over that squishy bulge that is my stomach.

So sexy.

A year ago I wouldn’t have done such a thing. In fact I think that morning is just another way of the Universe screwing me. Like taxes, car inspections and being forced to take out the garbage. After a long list of semi-tragic events ranging from heartbreak to death, I let everything go including myself. I could blame it all on medication and that it was the Lithium that made my face resemble a blow fish but it was the booze and the burgers and those midday trips to Cold Stone Creamery in the name of sadness. It wasn’t until months later when I saw a photo of myself, puffy face, gut sticking out that I realized that in my wallowing, I lost myself. I neither looked nor felt like me. So, I did what any good woman would do; I cried and had a milkshake.

Yes, really.

I cringe when I know that what is about to come out onto a page will be s string of cliches but it’s true that all you need is that one moment when you see what you were and compare it to what you could be. A brief moment of clarity where you realize that you’re manning the driver’s seat in this ride so it is up to you to turn and avoid hazards accordingly. It started with simple things like a gym membership and weight watchers. Then I moved onto workout plans, carrying a jump rope with me at all times and shoving fork-fulls of kale down my piehole.

Basically I took that person that I saw in that photo and realized that the lady had potential and I made attempts – the time – to change. The ‘how’ is amazing given that my airport to home ratio is like 40 to 1 but it’s amazing how well sneakers travel and wanting some semblance of your life back only requires a sprig of willpower. I go spinning at the butt crack of dawn. I bring yoga clothes to the office and set an alarm when I need to get out of there and into vinyasa flow. I take weekend trips. I shut the door and listen to Adele. I do things – anything, it seems – to make me feel more grounded. I do anything to make me feel that despite outside influences and whatever is swirling around in the air, I am still in control.

I am a woman who craves alone time or at least a little somethin’ somethin’ for herself each and everyday. I need that time to get centered and remind myself who is control. Last night after a day without me time or sunshine for that matter, I sat and had a glass of wine (tempranillo/cabernet blend) and repeated that to myself. I am in control. And with that, I had me.

Remember, visit http://www.facebook.com/crystallight to learn more about how Crystal Light can flavor your day with 30 refreshing flavors. I was selected and paid for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do.