Archive for the 'Fotografias' Category

The Letter B

February 8, 2010 | Filed under: Fotografias, Grace in Small Things, Whoopdie Doo

“Friends are relatives you make for yourself.”  ~Eustache Deschamps

I know you didn’t ask but my weekend was wonderful. Alana turned Amazing Years Old and to celebrate her husband, Matthew, threw her a fete fit for her lovely self. Now I, being the misanthrope that we all know and try like hell to love, had misgivings about attending this party. Though Bill and his wife would be there for me to lean on along with Alana’s sister whose face lit up when she saw me and went in for that full body hug; I was still nervous. I can’t help it and I’ve finally succumbed to an overwhelming, heart racing, palm sweating, reaction to social situations. Especially situations where I’m surrounded, like sardines in a can, by people I’ve only recently met. It’s like, “Hello, I’m Heather. I know we just met but I’m going to stick my elbow into your slice of birthday cake.That cool?”

But God. Those people down there. And I knew – KNEW – this would happen, but they were all so nice and wonderful. We talked kids and jobs and the difference between Upstate and Downstate. They were the type of people that you wanted to spend Saturday nights with drinking prosecco, talking politics, art, pop culture. Anything. I couldn’t help but think today even that I want a dinner party with everything in miniature and hugging a friend of a friend. That was how the night ended. The hostess, Emily, wrapped her arms around my waist and told me how glad she was that I came and that she finally got to meet me and I hugged Alana’s dad and high-fived her Uncle Dan (Dan who is married to Jill) and that night, it really was one of those nights that keep you buoy you when you think that things are so so bad.

Now may I be narcissistic for a second? For Alana’s birthday her husband had her friends and family and Katie Couric leave blog entries of sentimental things about The Birthday Girl. I taped mine right before I left for the party so I didn’t say everything I wanted to say. The truth is that I love that lady. So perhaps I throw the word ‘love’ around a lot. Perhaps you just don’t notice. But I do love her. She is one of those people that make the Internet good and a happier place to share and be. It’s something I don’t say enough to so many people who prove what the Internet really is: not some scary bad place full of evil people who want to kidnap you but maybe, just maybe, the Internet has some gems. And when you find these gems who get you in a way that so many never did and never will…well… it makes life that much sweeter.

Yo, where you at?

July 17, 2009 | Filed under: Fotografias, Humdrum, If I'm not here...

“God writes a lot of comedy… the trouble is, he’s stuck with so many bad actors who don’t know how to play funny.”  ~Garrison Keillor

Lest you think it’s all porn skirts and fun up in these parts it is not. I’m mostly preparing for two weeks away and then a move and also losing my shit on Twitter. Typical things.

But yeah, I’ve been around.

Joe Biden

Joe Biden, David Paterson, Scott Murphy

Metalia

Emily

Amy

HOLLA

I’m sure I’ll see many of you in the coming week. Be sure to say hi. I promise I don’t bite or yell or cry in public.

Pride

June 17, 2009 | Filed under: Fotografias

“Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind,
And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.”
~William Shakespeare, Mid-Summer Night’s Dream

Pride was this past weekend. There is just something about a bright blue sky full of rainbows and a belly full of beer that makes things just a little bit better. I like seeing people smitten with the weather and with each other. No matter who that other person may be.

Full Set Here

Run for cover

June 7, 2009 | Filed under: An ass the size of Rhode Island, Fotografias, Great moments in narcissism

“Everyone who has run knows that its most important value is in removing tension and allowing a release from whatever other cares the day may bring.”  ~Jimmy Carter

WARNING: EXTREME NARCISSISM AHEAD.

Poor planning on my part is what led to three 5Ks in three weeks. It also led to a reduction in my Spongebob Squarepants body shape and an ability to breathe while wearing pants again. It did nothing for the tear inducing foot pain but it I did end up shaving 6 minutes and 7 seconds off of my overall time. I’m nowhere near my personal best and I fear that by announcing this to the public at large my friend Bill, the super marathoner, will woo me with GSM and then be all, “By the way, after you finish that bottle, we’re running 7.5 mils in the morning!” and then he might be missing an important appendage.

I honestly couldn’t have gotten through dragging my large ass up some mini-hills without music. Music is what fills the soul. Music is what people turn to when there aren’t enough words. Music is also good at preventing me from dick punching* those assholes who finish the 5K in 18 minutes and then decide the taunt the rest of us by running back through the course. Music saves lives.

Here are my most favorite songs to run to and I’m about to download Rump Shaker because if someone telling you, “I’m feelin’ manly and your shaker’s comin’ in handy” doesn’t get your ass moving then I don’t know what will:

1) Groove is in the Heart – Deee Lite

2) Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Can See – Busta Rhymes

3) Don’t Stop Me Now – Queen

4) It’s Me Bitches – Swizz Beatz

5) Ms. New Booty – Bubba Sparxx

6) Temperature – Sean Paul

7) Tambourine – Eve

Single Ladies – Beyonce

9) Mr. Brightside – The Killers

10) Boom Boom Pow – Black Eyed Peas

*I got that phrase from Linda. She makes my potty mouth that much more vulgar.

Biology

May 13, 2009 | Filed under: Fotografias, Humdrum

“We’ve had bad luck with our kids – they’ve all grown up.”  ~Christopher Morley

Me (upon seeing Noah not a baby Noah but a giant full sized Noah who CONVERSES like a person or something): How the hell did that happen?

Her: I know. It’s crazy right?

Me (staring at Noah): I don’t get it.

Her: Well if you give them a little water, sustenance…

Me: Sunlight…

Her: They grow and get bigger.

Me: Wow.

Her: I know. Maybe I should write about it.

Me: Yes! Write about growing a child!

Her: Do you think anyone’ll read it?

Me: Maybe.