BlogHer coincides with the anniversary of the start of this blog. So, I return more pensive than usual (the first post lives here, if you are so inclined). The first year – at least – is speckled with my shaking my fists at the Universe as it forced me into adulthood and the frustration of leaving the safety and security of childhood for…well…this. You can’t see but I just made a sweeping gesture to my surroundings. I tapped my finger on a stack of bills and post-it notes reminding me of phone calls to make and where to be and when. This is what it is now. Getting here wasn’t particularly graceful but I have managed to fall into it without breaking any bones. Though No Pasa Nada is only six years old, it is considered ancient in Internet years but what I see from the past is a very young, 21 year old woman unsure of herself and her everything. Now I see a woman who is 27 going on 28. Still unsure of being called ‘adult’ but rolling with it. Tectonic plates have shifted and now I am here at this desk with this office and the home and with it all. Not where I expected but I take it each day. 21 would have shunned so much of this because of its imperfections, however small. 27 likes the scratches and dents and will to run with it anyway.

Six years ago I never expected to essentially come of age in front of a live studio audience. I held my finger over the publish button, took a deep breath and that was it.

I never expected you. I regret many things but this will never be one of them and for that I am eternally thankful.

I spent all of yesterday on Google+ and then I’d go to Facebook   or Twitter and exclaim that Google+ is made of magic and full of double rainbows, unicorns, sprinkles and whatever other good you can conjure up in your little head. The truth is that for me, Google+ is exactly what I’ve always wanted but had no idea that it was missing. A social media platform that brings together what we love about Facebook, Twitter, Posterous and Tumblr. It brings back of the joy of having conversations on these public platforms without feeling so constrained by character limits or worrying that 5,000 people might read your words. There are of course caveats like you should always be careful when using SM platforms less you enjoy unemployment and if that’s the case then hey! Can I borrow a couple bucks from you?

Real life people have never understood why I would enjoy sharing anything with people I don’t know. For them the Internet is full of serial killers who are ready to kidnap me at a moments notice. Never mind reassurances that I am careful and that I use proper judgment. No. For them it’s a perpetual worry that today I post something on Twitter, tomorrow I get kidnapped. They’re lovely people. Really.

So without further ado, here is why I love me some Google+:

1. Circles: With a few thousand following me across Twitter and Facebook, I like being able to limit who sees what. I cannot imagine being a ‘big blogger’ and having tens of thousands following me. I..just..no. I like this for a few reasons one being that there are certain people who don’t like to see the word “motherfucker” in their stream. Google+ makes it so that if I feel like swearing, I can do so in front of a smaller group of people. I have circles for people I know from the Internet, real life friends (there are three people on that list one of which is a woman I’ve known since elementary school), Internet friends, Internet famous people (think the Pete Cashmores and Anil Dashs of the world) and then a circle of people I trust. Of course anyone in any circle can share with their circles so always be careful with what you post but I’m still able to feel a little more comfortable with how and what I share.

2. No one is on it…yet: I remember when Facebook started and it was invite only. It was just me sharing photos from college with friends from high school. Back then I didn’t mind the occasional shot of me in my bathing suit, in a hot tub, drunk off my ass to be shown on FB because no one else was there. We behaved as if no one was watching. Fast forward eleven years and everyone and my brothers are there and sharing and my nieces and my 15 year old cousin and…no…just no. Things tend to be more enjoyable before it gets too crowded. So get in on the ground floor before your grandmother puts you in her circle.

3.How I share: I posted a link to the pie throw heard around the world the other afternoon while I was watching the Murdochs at Parliament. I wasn’t able to write much about it at the time but at least with the link I could give an explanation to why I was pissed off at the situation. It wasn’t just a link and four words about what was there. I love Twitter but things can easily be taken out of context. Google+ allows me to link to things I enjoy around the Internet and then give a paragraph about why I’m a fan. I’m a prolific wordsmith. I cannot help it. Google+ lets me be as loquacious as I wanna be.

4. Let’s have a conversation: I post a link. People can then +1 the link or comment on it or they can share what I have written with their circles. I like that I can start a conversation and responses to the conversation are all right there and show up nested in my email so that I can respond. This is how I hope to have Poliogue become more of a conversation starter and not just a straight up blog with comments. This is one of my favorite features.

5. It’s always there: I usually keep Twitter open during the day as well as Flickr on occasion but I’m rarely checking Facebook. I am almost always on Google as my email is Gmail and I use Google Reader. With Google+ I can now do all of the sharing I do elsewhere in one place and it takes out the step of opening up a new browser based application to do so. Everything is one place and for the perpetually lazy, like me, that is perfect.

The first week I had trouble figuring out what to use G+ for. I didn’t want to be redundant so my breakdown of what I share and where is this: Facebook holds updates for real life people/former coworkers and the like. They also get to see blog posts in one place because they wouldn’t ordinarily see them. Twitter is still for having conversations and my trademark spouting off. There’s still sharing but I like how Twitter tests my limits of being a writer and how to get my point across in 140 characters or less. Also, I still get much of my breaking news there and I like the vibe of Twitter. But I might stop saying “fuck” so much. Maybe. Google+ I share cool links and then have a conversation about them. Poliogue posts will also be shared there because things I write there are things I want to have a conversation about (hence The Art of Political Dialogue). I will add that I’m interested in how big brands and companies will be included as right now Google is saying that they will have something “different” for them.

And there you have it. Questions? Comments? Concerns? If you’re on Google+ feel free to find me: Gplus.to/heatherbarmore

Thanks to Trop50 for sponsoring my writing about fabulous bloggers. This year Trop50 is granting 50 Fabulous Wishes. Click here to enter for a chance to win $1,000 to celebrate a friend with a refreshing attitude about looking and feeling fabulous!

“The strength of women comes from the fact that psychology cannot explain us. Men can be analysed, women … merely adored.” OSCAR WILDE, The Ideal Husband

One of the gems of getting older and wiser is the joy of making your own friends. No longer are you subject to being frenemies with the girl down the street just because you ride the same bus and hey! you might as well deal since you’ll see everyday for 13 long and treacherous years. See also; no lingering affects like 15 years later when said girl befriends you on Facebook. Also, also, MOVE ON. As you find yourself you also find people and this case, women, who make the world around you better. Women whose mere presence makes you happier and in the case of these five women, people whose words make you think or make you want to do better and learn more. I star their posts and hug them harder in hopes that fabulousness comes via osmosis.
It does not but these are just five of the many women who I get to call friend and who allow us to read them.

Susan Wagner – We all know that Susan is one of my best friends. My confidante. The one I can call at any time to be like, dude, do you know what happens when you’ve had three vodka gimlets? As I’m staring at my ceiling trying to  remember how I even got into bed. Susan is that friend who doesn’t judge and worries about me constantly. That kind of friendship where you get a little teary eyed as you pinch yourself because, damn, you are lucky. The other fabulous thing about Susan is that she is a fantastic fashion blogger who knows pretty much everything. She can tell you the proper way to wear a belt and how to care for your underthings. She’ll tell you exactly how you look or how the maxi dress you covet might be hard to pull off. She always looks her best and she wants the rest of us to look great too.

Joanne Bamberger – Not only has Joanne become a dear friend but she’s one of very few people that I would actually consider going into business with (HA! Wouldn’t you like to know!). When it comes to women in politics it is Joanne I go to first because she gets it and we compare notes nodding with each other because being The Girl in the Boy’s Club is difficult. I often find myself wrapped up in the politics of working in politics and it is Joanne who I turn to in order to remind me why I do what I do and the importance of it all. She’s a role model who knows that smart women need to make their voices heard.

Helen Jane Hearn – If you want to entertain but not do it all Martha Stewart style but regular people, I just got the kids to ballet and now I need to make a risotto for a Progressive Dinner, style then Helen Jane is your girl. First of all, she’s been blogging since 2000 back when typewriters, rotary phones and hand-coding a website were in style. So, she’s been around the block. She’s experienced and whip smart, yes, but what I absolutely love about this girl is that she wants you to enjoy entertaining. She makes fun look pretty. She’s a doll who hands out champagne at parties and when you’re with her you know that the party has arrived. She recently interviewed me for her Party People series on her new site HJ Entertains. She’s the girl who makes you want to go out and enjoy something instead of sitting home in your ratty pi’s.

Karen Walrond – When people ask me about her my first thought is that I love her. She is a woman who wants you – yes YOU – to not just know your beauty but to know your worth. I remember a conversation with her years ago where I did my typical shoulder shrug ‘I guess…’ thing when she complimented me on my work. She looked at me right in the eyes, touched my arm and said, “No, really. You’re the shit”. I grinned. Like many women I rarely think I’m doing anything special or am all that gorgeous but Karen knows how to bring it out of me. Hell, she brings the beauty out of all of us. Every time I leave her I find myself particularly upset not to be in her presence anymore. She’s the type of woman who you always want around to listen and to be your confidante and tell you that yes, you are amazing, now work it.

Allison Czarnecki – Allison is a new friend who sat next to during the last BlogHer at a fashion panel. We only chatted for a bit though. When I got home I started peeking around her site and reading her regularly. A few months later she posted her Life List and one of the items was to go to Martha’s Vineyard. And because I wanted her brilliance on how to perfect a smoky eye, I quickly sent her a DM to tell her that I HAVE A HOUSE ON MARTHA’S VINEYARD AND YOU SHOULD TOTALLY COME OVER OH PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE! Allison is a how-to guru whereas I would just buy new eyeshadow or use my hard earned money for a manicure, Allison will tell you how to do it yourself for much cheaper and probably better. While others might mock, she’s the person who will totally get your excitement when you tell her about your new blush brush.

So tell me, who are some of your favorite lady bloggers? I’m always looking for new reads. And I’m totally OK if you say, “Heather, I just read you all day, every day.”

Don’t forget to enter the 50 Fabulous Wishes contest for a chance to win $1,000 to celebrate a friend with a refreshing attitude about looking and feeling fabulous. I was selected for this Tropicana Trop50 sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do. I received compensation to use and facilitate my post.

Over the last six years I have gone from a person who believed that the Internet should share in every mundane detail of my life to holding back; preferring to hold the mundane details that are my life, close to the vest. I’ve learned that a) not everyone needs to know everything and b) what everyone knows, someone will be happy to use against you. A possible jaded outlook on people in general based on several bad experiences but ‘rather safe than sorry’ are words to live by. So there’s that along with the ever present under current of anxiety. To which….gosh, I know. I know. While having a conversation with a friend of mine about my anxiety disorder that requires actual medication, a bartender blurted out “You know! You’re too young to have all that worry! And I know because I have all of this white hair which makes me wise…” etc., etc., oh my hell, do I tell you how to make a margarita? No. So don’t tell me how to manage my meds. Thanks. Bitchy, yes, but that’s what I was thinking. I digress. The point is that Dear Internet, I have some shit going on that I have decided not to tell you because I don’t need the judgement and sideways glances. And here’s where I stumble and mumble and want to apologize because I’m not telling you about The Things. I’m…uh…sorry for not telling you about something that you knew nothing about until I sat here flummoxed for a bit about what to write about and wondered what others find to be off limits. I’m sure I’ve asked this before but humor me.

When I was 15 I knew – KNEW – that I would grow up to be an Economic Historian. I would major in Industrial and Labor Relations and Economics at Cornell and I would do my doctoral thesis (oh yes, I was going to be a PhmotherfuckingD) on something to do with how economic conditions in the late 20th centure impacted labor unions. I wanted to be a tenured professor and I longed for people to refer to me as Dr.

At 21, three months shy of my 22nd birthday, I started an Internet Web Log called No Pasa Nada after reading an article in the New York Times about Stephanie Klein. I started this blog thing under a cloud of secrecy hoping that no one would ever find out. Ever. And if anyone dared to mention said site I would shrug and say that I had no idea what they were speaking of and then I’d erase their memory just like in Men in Black. This just in: Clearly, I have yet to achieve PhD status as noted by threatening to go all alien catcher on someones ass. I mean really. But dude you can totally erase someones memory, I saw it once. Let me show you.

I started No Pasa Nada because at 21 I was fucking miserable. I mean everyday I would wake up and curse life and adulthood and why I had to age. I had a bad case of Peter Pan complex if I’ve ever seen one. I made no money and I spent evenings drinking the worst wine known to man and when I look at my W-9 from 2005 vs. 2010 I’m like HOW ON EARTH DID I EAT? I think the Men in Black mind eraser erased that part where I started prostituting for grocery money.

This site was to be a chronicle of my foray into adulthood; a precarious and emotional time that most everyone goes through but no one ever acknowledges. There are millions of How To books on parenting, marriage, finances but none that teaches you how to live without that protective cover of parents or a college. Nothing that teaches how to do something on your own. It makes sense though, when you think about it; there cannot be a book that teaches you how to live and how to make mistakes and how to recover from said mistakes, these are things that one must learn on their own. So the blog was here for me to chronicle the whole sordid affair from every hangover to every moment where I felt worthwhile at my work. My site was my safety net as I navigated the shark infested waters of early adulthood and it was nice to have people out there who shouted ‘Amen’.

I’m currently 27. Being clueless is no longer charming and adorable but a nuisance. And this isn’t about how much wiser and/or more brilliant and/or more able to keep my mouth shut every once in awhile but to say that I am a person and as a person I evolve and change and what once was is no longer. It’s one of the beautiful things about life that with each year we have the ability to grow and flourish. I no longer feel the need to write about my every displeasure or about the harshness of being an adult. Why? Because I am an adult but there is no longer that merciless tugging of my heart strings or panic each time something goes wrong. Or perhaps when those things do happen I deal accordingly in real life and not on the page. I have learned that a career path can be forged just by asking and wanting and that bills need to be paid but shoes can also be bought. I’ve learned those little things that keep me from going into hysterics if my car doesn’t turnover (P.S. my car won’t turnover, I called AAA, it’s not the battery but the starter. Riveting). I’ve become more willing to accept things and if they can be changed, then God-willing, I will make every attempt for change.

This site won’t be what it was before and for that I am grateful. I am interested in different things – redesigning my apartment, doing projects for Poliogue, finishing my book proposal, taking more photos, showing you what I wore – and that is ok. And it is that way because I have long come to peace with the person I am now versus the person I was in late 2005. Clearly I’m still loquacious or else this could have ended long ago but I will tell you what brought me to writing about this point in my life. 1) My personal life is too complicated and intertwined with the personal lives of others. I feel like I need to be more respectful of the lives of my friends rather than page views. 2) This article on Heather Armstrong in the New York Times Magazine, more specifically the comments. Ooooh, boy, the comments. People are livid that Heather and Jon have the audacity to change and thrive as people, a business, a family and a couple. God forbid Heather not share things the way she used to. Brief digression to say that I am totally enamored by her design posts and I keep asking her to come to Albany and do my GD apartment because OMFucking ugly. Never mind that there are new people in her life that she must think about before putting words upon a page. It made me angry on her behalf that people could be so callous and forget that these are people with lives of their own.

At 21 I would have told you that I feared change (also; death and taxes). At 27 I welcome it with open arms. I want to do more and do things a little differently. At 21 I would have hoped for acceptance from anyone and anyone. At 27 I accept it which is good enough for me. ]]> http://nopasanada.org/2011/02/28/delta-delta-delta/feed/ 6 http://nopasanada.org/2011/01/31/nerds-on-parade/ http://nopasanada.org/2011/01/31/nerds-on-parade/#comments Tue, 01 Feb 2011 01:42:40 +0000 nopasanada http://nopasanada.org/?p=1661 “I am thankful for the mess to clean after a party because it means I have been surrounded by friends”. ~Nancie J. Carmody

This is the second night of BlissDom. It is far different than 24 hours prior when I sobbed in my room over an open bottle of wine and See’s chocolates, threatening to leave. More on that joy tomorrow. But for now, we are nerds. Adorable, fun, semi-drunk unless you’re Allison over there who parties like a Mormon. Which is to say she was out later than I and not nearly as full of Makers Mark. Smart girl.

Thanks, Mishi for the photo!

]]> http://nopasanada.org/2011/01/31/nerds-on-parade/feed/ 0 http://nopasanada.org/2011/01/30/what-i-wore-blissdom/ http://nopasanada.org/2011/01/30/what-i-wore-blissdom/#comments Sun, 30 Jan 2011 20:26:51 +0000 nopasanada http://nopasanada.org/?p=1655 “Souls wouldn’t wear suits and ties, they’d wear blue jeans and sit cross-legged with a glass of red wine.”  ~Carrie Latet

Me packing for DC: Ok here are some black pants and a black shirt and a black blazer and black shoes and let’s throw this shit in a black bag with some pearls and call it a day, mmmkay?

Me packing for a Blog Conference: Okay, let’s start with a Google Doc spreadsheet, color code it and highlight by outfit. And by outfit I mean day outfits vs. night outfits and perhaps we should try everything on before leaving to make sure that this shoe looks perfect with this dress and let’s have a spontaneous Movie Montage Outfit Party. [Insert your favorite 80's song here]

Packing for conferences makes me twitchy. Real life is easy and bland and so very ordinary. I once wore a yellow sweater and someone was all “YELLOW! That’s different!” I own a pink coat and you should see the looks I get when I walk through the Rayburn Building. But when it comes to blog conference with the 5D Mark IIs with the giant flashes, I go all out. I like to have fun. I like to incorporate color into my wardrobe without someone being all so you wore black with red? Interesting.

So here’s what I wore during BlissDom this past week. Good times. Even gooder (yes, I said that) shoes.

Wednesday Night

Tunic – Old Navy

Boots – Annies via Endless (wide-calf, baby!)

Ring – Anthropologie

Thursday Day

Sweater, Dress/Tunic if you’re not a size 4, necklace – All J.Crew

Thursday Night

Gold top – Gap

Necklace – Anthropologie

Earrings – Musette Made Etsy shop

Sparkly flats – Banana Republic

Tattoo – Poor decision making at age 17

Friday – Speaking!

Wrap Dress – Banana Republic

Earrings – Kenneth Cole

Scarf – Mustard Seed in Bethesda

Shoes – Nine West via Endless

Friday Night

Sweatshirt – via my brilliant mother. Not sure where she got it but my goal is to just to own a lot of Salinger stuff and/or things that make me look smart and literary.

There are two new posts up on Poliogue right now – Of Pomp and Circumstance and Mr. Obama Goes to Schenectady. I feel all fancy and on top of my shit when I’m able to get something up over there without neglecting people who really could give two shits as to who their congress-person is sitting with during the State of the Union. I’m having an equilibrium issue. Not just online but in life. Everything feels out of whack and if I move just too inches to one side everything on the other end will just fall over with a resounding thud.

Sometimes I find myself so overwhelmed that I don’t eat and I pray for a bout of mania. Then there are the days when it’s all too much, too soon and instead of saying, Go get ‘em, Tiger! I think fuck this and stay in bed with Wii on my Netflix. I mean Netflix on my Wii. See? I can’t even get that right.

I leave for Nashville in the morning where I will speaking about writing and how I do it and why I do it but I feel like I’m not the person who should be up there. But that is a processing – my personal processing – issue and not yet one to air for all to see.

So I’m stressed. I have all of these ideas at the top of my head waiting to burst out from everywhere. I can feel it all straining agains my eyes and my fingers because they’re all ready, ready, ready and I cannot bring myself or stop for a few minutes to let them out. Let’s just say that my brain is all Pandora’s box up in there.

Nashville. Tomorrow. More. Tomorrow. Now, there there brain. Take a breather.

First a bit of housekeeping; the winner of a *signed* copy of Half Baked by Ms. Alexa Stevenson is lucky number 10: Amber Please email me your address at NoPasaNadablog@gmail.com so I can get your prize to you.

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Now to the happiness.

You all, I had the most glorious weekend. It needs to be written about over at Poliogue but it was awesome and inspiring and I totally geeked out when the political director of ABC news came to give me a hug. I ended up leaving the inaugural AMP Summit with a giant smile on my face and projects under my belt. Because of Julie and Joanne I feel ready to do something great. It’s a feeling I haven’t had in quite some time. Though I’ve been saying it here a lot; I can feel that something good is coming. And this past weekend The Good fell into my lap. It jump started and renewed my belief that I do, in fact, have something to offer. You know what I’m talking about, right? When you feel kind of ‘blah’ about things. And nothing seems to go well and you feel like a failure. That’s how I’ve been feeling about many o’ things but I feel better and ready to take on the world. Or as Joanne said, we have a conspiracy and we’re about to build an empire. I cannot wait to share with you more about AMP or about our plans but for now I have work and fundraisers and midterms to think about and clothing to purchase because my ass has expanded. Those are my priorities.

Hope your weekend was just as fulfilling and awesome as mine.