“Home is a place not only of strong affections, but of entire unreserve; it is life’s undress rehearsal, its backroom, its dressing room.” ~Harriet Beecher Stowe
A few weeks ago I found myself going back and forth with my friend Allison as to how wonderful life in Salt Lake City would be for me. The only caveat she said is that she was unsure of the (strict) drinking laws in the city and perhaps I should find a non-Mormon to assist in that regard. So I added Salt Lake to the list of “Hey…I could live here”.
Most people daydream about a relaxing vacation, I daydream of a place in this vast country of ours where I could put down some roots. It’s a list that grows each day depending on my mood. My therapist recently noted how wistfully I speak of DC and that she doesn’t hear that same tone when it comes to Albany and I had to remind her that a) This is Albany for Christ’s sake and b) I wouldn’t live in DC unless of course I won the lottery or made it big as a Democratic Consultant. I will get into the Albany v. DC thing at a later date but the point is that as of right now DC is not on that list. Several friends of mine and perspective job sites just collectively sobbed. I love DC with a fierceness but my gut tells me that it most likely isn’t in the cards.
Denver is there. Along with Boulder. I regularly contemplate Austin but recently reneged on that possibility because I don’t hate snow. That statement will come back to bite me in the ass some day – probably on a very frigid day in January where I find my nipples permanently erect and frostbite on my toes – but no, it doesn’t bother me in the way it should and could.
I see myself in a capital city since the only thing I’m really qualified to do is work in politics. Though some might say that I’m barely qualified for that. I could live on Martha’s Vineyard full time. That creeps in when I find myself alone walking up Circuit Avenue without the July and August hustle and bustle. But then I find myself stumped worrying that I haven’t been to enough places, seen enough, absorbed enough to make a “Forever” decision.
Perhaps I’ll marry someone who enjoys a life on the road. I’ll telecommute and home-school and spend summers in Montana. Who knows. The good thing is that the older I get the easier I find that I am able to go with it…absorb the ‘whatever happens, happens’ mentality. I just want to be near water, mountains, I want a yard.
Or perhaps I’ll just spin the globe and wherever my finger lands that is where I, too, shall land. Yes. That will work just fine.
This same topic was discussed on Curvy Girls Guide today and I wanted to bring it over here. Where do you live? Do you see yourself living there forever? If money were no object where would you call home?
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You know where I live, which is where you say you can’t, and I totally get that. There are days here where I don’t think I can stay here one more day, and then there are days where I can’t imagine anywhere else.
My Bay Area people regularly demand that I move there, but I just don’t see myself in California long-term. I love North Carolina. I can’t imagine being ANYWHERE more than two hours from the coast, because I tried that and I get super, super twitchy.
I think the deal is that I want to find what it is I really want to DO for the second act, and then, 1. It won’t matter to me so much where I am, because I am such a traveling fool that the home base is just that, and 2. It’ll lead me to where I’m supposed to be to do it.
If that makes sense.
The thing is that if I move to Washington I would want to live in Washington (of course I am saying this as a 27 year old, very single person). I even remember before moving there saying that a lovely home in Georgetown would be great but I can’t afford that shit. The other thing is that it takes forever to get out of DC and as Laurie knows I’m not being hyperbolic. It takes like an hour to get out of a city that’s like 7 square miles (or something). What I do enjoy about Albany is that you can always get out. I don’t feel trapped. Massachusetts is 45 minutes away, Canada is 4 hours away. You know what’s 4 hours north of DC? Jersey.
Like I said there’s a full post coming about my love for DC v. my love for Albany and while I think that DC is the most spectacular place in the country, I don’t think that living there – hopefully as a married/partnered woman with children – is in the cards. But as I said in the CGG post, ask me again in 10 years.
Oh and Laurie – I couldn’t live where you live. All I can think about is the traffic and certain metro lines sharing one track. Ugh.
I live in Phoenix. I would not like to live here forever, although the dear, dear friends I’ve made her definitely make it better than tolerable. We’re here because of a job transfer many years ago. I miss the east coast. I miss 4 distinct seasons. I miss liberal politics being the majority
) compared to NY, so that is also attractive to my family.
If money were no object, I’d consider living in Oxford, England, to be near family there and because I still hold England on a pedestal. Aside from that, our plan is to go back to western Connecticut: it’s the northeast, it’s close enough and yet far enough from family, we could find a small town that’s still has close access to mainstream life (Target, etc). Access to a hockey rink is important for my family, too. Connecticut has more relaxed homeschooling laws (since you mentioned that
I live in Orlando Florida. I came down here years ago to work for Disney, and for 15 years I did. If money were no object I would move back to the Chicago metro area. I really miss my family, the arts, urban life. Orlando’s major income is tourism and not much else. Infrastructure is a problem, a sense of community is absent because a higher percentage of the population is transient. I miss seasons and have been known to wax nostalgic when we do get the occassional bit of inclement weather (except hurricanes-blech)
You would hate Boulder. Trust me. They talk the talk, but they don’t walk the walk there, at all. Also, it is silly expensive.
You should consider Minnesota. Because I think our political landscape needs some diversity and shaking up. Enough of creating asses like Pawlenty and Bachmann. You should come here. Good place for families, good place for food (our food truck scene is unreal) and I want more cool open minded people here.
*cough*ST. PAUL!*cough*
I live in Minneapolis & I love it! Well, I don’t love it in February, but I love it the rest of the time. Madison, WI is also a fantastic place to live (was there for 2 years between stints in St. Paul & Minneapolis). Don’t discount the midwest!
I would consider Chicago as well if you’re looking for big city atmosphere.
I recently was able to articulate my criteria for living someplace to my husband – maybe it doesn’t make sense to someone else, but I really want to live somewhere that has a sense of Place. Where you know that you are in that place vs. some other place. When I’ve visited the suburbs of Houston (sorry, Houston), I felt like I could be in a generic “anywhere.” Give me a town with a distinctive geography, a sense of where it is.
We live in North Carolina. We came for work. We definitely don’t want to live here forever. We don’t even want to live here in 5 years. The summers are too long for my husband. And we don’t have any people here. It’s harder when you don’t have a tribe.
If money were no object, we’d live in sprawling penthouse overlooking Central Park. And we’d have a laundress.
Since money is an object, we’re looking at Connecticut or somewhere in the Pacific Northwest. It’s so beautiful there.
I think upstate New York is gorgeous, but I’ve never been to Albany.
The DC area is home for me for generations back or I wouldn’t be here. My family became more important to me over the years I was in Ohio (I did not hate Dayton, quite the opposite), and I felt compelled to come back and be a part of my grandma’s life while she was alive, and my sister, and my extended family. It was SO HARD to make friends when I got back here, though. I had great friends in Ohio and it took a long time. You know how fragmented and crazy it is. Now I finally feel I’m in a place where I have that going for me again, and my biggest fear leaving is starting over at 40 in a new community. I know I can do it, I just don’t really…want to. The blogging thing makes it easier, because no matter where I go it feels like I have people.
I don’t know why I don’t live in the city. I’ve always wanted to. I guess MoCo was what I knew so I stuck here. I do like being right next to the Beltway now. And it’s not SO hard to get to cool places. I love being close to New York and I like being close-ish to the beach. Maryland is also not such a bad little state, but I’m biased.
Yeah, I’ll probably die here.
I’m ready. I’m afraid my Tallahassee money won’t translate well in SFO or NYC though, so I don’t know. At least someplace with a great airport and train service. I like your 4-hour test. I can get to Atlanta, tons of different beaches, and almost to NOLA. So all of that is, admittedly, hard to leave.
This is a great topic! We live in Syracuse, NY (not too far from your current neck of the woods!), and I imagine we’ll stay. I did actually pull out a map of NY before we chose where we would live, and my finger landed on Ithaca. But then we went to grad school in Oswego, got jobs in Syracuse, and we really like being in a city (such as it is; not exactly a big city, but…). So we’re near Ithaca, but not quite where the finger ended up. I moved a lot between graduating high school in ’94 and ending up in Syracuse in ’04. My husband was ready to settle down. Now we own a house we absolutely love, and have 2 kids, so I’m guessing we’ll stay. If we ever move, it would probably be to Buffalo b/c I have family all around that area. When the kids get a little older I’m looking forward to traveling again though! I love to travel and imagine myself living in every place I go.
There’s lots of politics here in Sacramento. Also it’s near San Francisco. You know, if you’re looking for a new place. JUST SAYING.
I’m not sure where I’d live if money was no object. I’m pretty happy here—my family is here, as are dear friends. My roots are definitely here, but if I’m really honest with myself, I do think about starting over from time to time, somewhere no one knows me.