What I Wore: The Weddings

“The dress must not hang on the body but follow its lines.  It must accompany its wearer and when a woman smiles the dress must smile with her.”  ~Madeleine Vionnet

Before I get into the lovely and magic of a month of weddings, I’ll instead bore you with the details of what I wore. Actually, that might be one of the best parts of the wedding season, which would be doing it up and then some. For a girl with a giant ass, I sure do enjoy the putting together of outfits and the perfect pieces. You’d think that it was a regular occasion but you’d be wrong. For example, right now I’m wearing a t-shirt that just happened to be clean, my only skirt that wasn’t a wrinkled mess and my hair in this messy bun thing so that the curls don’t find their way into my eyeballs. I repeat; I am the epitome of sexy. That said, it took me weeks to decide on what to wear to two vastly different weddings. One more formal than the other but both leaving me with that feeling of satisfaction that two people could not be more perfect as an Us. So, I went off what I knew of these four people and how each audience would react to my accessorizing. Why do I worry about these things when I am not the bride? Because wedding photos last forever and in ten years, I’d like to be able to see these photos in a wedding album without thinking “I’ve got child-birthing hips”. That’s why.

Onward.

Wedding #1
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
A formal wedding for Liz and Michael that involved a sit-down dinner (there was bacon in my mashed potatoes), a mass and The Eucharist.

Necklace: Lou Lou, a lovely boutique colleagues introduced me to in Dupont Circle. It’s become one of my new favorite pick-me-up places. Ladies, you know what I mean: you’re having a shitty day and you need just a little something to perk up your spirits. Something that doesn’t have any calories is even better.

Hair: I love when people ask me how I got my hair to do ‘that’. Um, it came like that.

Dress: Martin & Osa – pours one out – maxi dress of joy. It’s jersey knit gown that is the most comfortable thing in the world. The only way it could be better is if it had pockets but jersey knit and pockets don’t go together.

Shoes: Steve Madden. I was worried about the height of the shoes with the length of the dress but it ended up hitting at just the right spot. Please be aware that I didn’t spend the entire evening in these shoes or else I’d be typing this with my leg in traction. I ended up changing into a pair of Tieks during dinner.

Feedback from a fellow guest and dear friend: “You look amazing and really happy”. I looked happy because primer makes the world go round and keeps me having that joyful dewy look.

Wedding #2
Location: Berkeley, California
A casual wedding for Leah and Simon that involved their living room furniture, a taco truck (I had a burrito) and the bride – in denim no less – mingling among the guests right before the ceremony.

Dress: J.Crew. It was on sale and fit perfectly and didn’t show off my boobies. Con: I felt like my ass was hanging out all night but guess what? No one noticed the length because…

Brooch: ….they were all focused on my giant fluffy brooch courtesy of Shop Bando. This is hands down one of my favorite accessory purchases ever. I’m running out of adjectives for this thing because it truly made the outfit. You should get one, too.

Cardigan: J.Crew. I liked the green, yellow and pink combination.

Shoes: Banana Republic. I needed flats because the dress was so short. I only wish I had worn my gold flats instead (also from J.Crew) but, eh, whatever.

Feedback from everyone and their mother: “WHERE’D YOU GET THAT PIN?!”