Before you depart for New Orleans, you should know…

“Way down yonder in New Orleans/In the land of dreamy scenes/There’s a garden of Eden/You know what I mean.” – Louis Armstrong

I cannot believe I almost let several friends scurry off to New Orleans without imparting my wisdom of New Orleans area restaurants onto them. How selfish of me. Shame.

Quick background: During the summer I spent six days in New Orleans and here is where you wonder how I endured spending several days of my life in a place whose weather could be likened to walking through hot soup. Each morning I would awake to my – already a mass of curls eating my face – to see that it had grown inches in width. The only way to combat humidity of those proportions is to pray to the conditioner Gods. Dear Treseme…is how I’d begin each day. Anyway, during those six days I was able to enjoy some of New Orleans’ finer dining establishments. Not “fine” as in black cloth napkins and candlelight but “fine” as in “damn. That was good. *burp*” It was enjoyable to open my eyes each morning and despite the sight of my hair in the mirror I would then go straight to wondering what and where I would eat each day.

Every single day included John Besh’s restaurant Luke in the Hilton on St. Charles Avenue. There were burgers the size of my head and their French 75′s were delectable. Happy Hours were also spent here where I had my first fresh oyster. The oysters might look daunting but remember that they have an aphrodiasiac quality so hug your sweetheart tight. The way I was taught to enjoy my first oyster was to take a saltine. Place an oyster on top of the saltine. Put a dollop of cocktail sauce and horseradish on top and enjoy. Another note: Squeeze lemon upon the oysters to get them really delish.

One night a friend turned colleague decided on resies at Restaurant August, John Besh’s pièce de résistance that involved a tasting menu that changed each evening. If there is anything you should know about me is that “tasting” “menu” and “pairing” should be part of any young woman’s vocabulary. Though we didn’t do the tasting menu there were tears and jeers of jealousy that I was able to breathe the same air as Besh. It’s one of those places that serves foie gras prepared three ways and knows that the truffle is the most magical thing on the planet.

Then there was the evening that I had to choose the restaurant for my bosses. This was tough because I often that my job might depend on whether or not I chose a satisfactory restaurant and pathetic given that I do think that I might lose health insurance if my boss hates gazpacho. Herbsaint was my choice thanks to Yelp and Zagat. In fact in the last three years I have only received praise for my restaurant choices. Never mind my actual work! That steak was delicious! Get her a raise! Because this was so long ago I don’t remember what I had except for the watermelon soup. A could soup with a vodka gimlet on a steamy night in July? Perfection.

Then there are the places you should make time to visit no matter what. I don’t care if you just lost your arm in a streetcar accident! You need to get yourself to Mother’s (biscuits, gravy and grits), Acme Oyster House (an institution and crowded. be prepared to stand outside), and Cafe du Monde (if you don’t know about the beignets then you should be ashamed of yourself).

This is far quicker than I thought but those are my suggestions. Now go forth and enjoy. Oh! If you need a new tattoo, there’s a fantastic place in the Garden District that did mine. Didn’t hurt a bit.

I think this post more than any other summarizes me as a person: Food, tattoos and alcohol. Yup. That’s about it. Have fun, lovelies!