“Summing up, it is clear the future holds great opportunities. It also holds pitfalls. The trick will be to avoid the pitfalls, seize the opportunities, and get back home by six o’clock.” ~Woody Allen
I am a 27 year old woman who cannot make a decision unless by committee.
1. Get propositioned.
2. Ruminate.
3. Panic because Danger, DANGER, CHANGE.
4. Ruminate.
5. Call Susan.
6. She doesn’t answer so re-commence the panicking.
7. Call Chris.
8. Instead of discussing said problem discuss the weather and my sex-life.
9. Susan calls!
10. In my typical hypo-manic fashion, breathlessly tell Susan about said issue.
11. Get answer.
12. Call 19 other people who may or may not care while spinning in circles because WHAT DO I DO.
13. Write cryptic tweets and posts about said problem because it’s the 21st century and instead of keeping that shit to myself, why not tell two thousand people?
14. Consume a bag of gummy worms
15. Make decision.
You think I’m being hyperbolic about all this and you would be totally wrong. Ask Susan about the time I was breathing all heavy and talking all fast while consumed with The Panic and she had to remind me that perhaps I should take a breath. Like, at least one.
I was recently offered a tremendous opportunity and it took me less than 24 hours to go through the 14-step process and it wasn’t even that painful. I mean I only asked three people about it which is far more impressive than the time I had to make five Pro/Con lists and then lay in the fetal position. A decision was made. Things were wrangled. Emails were sent. Meanwhile I threw myself into decorating my apartment and watching everything in my Netflix queue and trying no less than 17 types of gummy worms/bears/frogs/anything that could be shoved into my mouth. See also; it appears that I am a stress eater, so says the empty salt and vinegar chips bag on my coffee table. I also started taste-testing Scotch which inevitably means being drunk rather frequently.
This just in; I didn’t come with any coping mechanisms. I came with the mindset to freak out and when not freaking out try a cheeseburger.
After all of that I am beyond thrilled to say that I’m semi-moving to DC for several months. I’ll be there when the Cherry Blossoms come and I’ll get side swiped by people who can’t drive through Dupont Circle and some asshat will annoy me on the metro and I couldn’t be happier about being inconvenienced by tourists. And I’ll learn a lot too! So that is what has been going on. I’m happy. Really, really happy.
Now, who wants to take these Girl Scout cookies off my hands?
15 Comments
Yay! Back to DC! I mean, it’s not *California,” but still: so happy for you.
Congratulations, my friend! One more reason why I need to get back to DC for a visit. (Devra called dibs on being the first reason, but you know you’re way up there on the list.)
Congratulations!!!!
I love those phone calls. I truly do.
So excited for you – and more than a little bit jealous (even if your return coincides with touron season). Congratulations!
Congratulations! Now have a cheeseburger.
Congratulations! DC, and in the (almost) summer time, no less! Good for you! For future reference…in case it helps…the decision you make? It will always be the right one. Always. Because it’s the one you made.
I was really hoping this move would take you to Chicago! How amazeballs would that be?
Congrats!
You crack me up. Congratulations!
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a) very jealous you are moving to DC
b) I’m 28, & I follow similar patterns making decisions but instead of fearing change, I fear being wrong
Congrats!!! Happiness good
Does this mean it will be like forever before we see the finished decorated apartment project?
Not forever but it will be impossible to have a sofa delivered if I’m not here. I’ll be back and forth so most of it will get done.
You decided on a sofa?
Yup. It’s adorable.