With Gusto

“We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings.”  ~Erma Bombeck

After the whole Broward/Dade/Hanging Chad debacle of 2000 I had pretty much written off Florida. They are a nuisance, I said and started to give a look of “This? This is your fault.” See also; I can hold a grudge like no other even against an entire state. Especially against their former Tammy Faye Baker look-a-like, Secretary of State who I would go on to dislike for other reasons. See also; here and here.

Ah, memories.

Anyway, prior to Thanksgiving I found myself on a work-related excursion to Captiva Island. A trip to a proper resort where they brought you drinks while you lounged poolside. Drinks with fruit, no less. Perhaps a little umbrella. I even had a bike* with which to traverse my private oasis.

How could I continue my disdain for this state?

One day I was sitting on the beach minding my own business when a seagull did its business on me. Instead of flailing about hysterically, I did nothing but smile. I couldn’t help it! I was all, seagulls, please use me as your personal portapotty! I don’t mind! And then I went for a dive and all was still right with the world.

It’s hard not to smile – despite other events – when you’re sitting outside come November without a fear that the sky will open up and blizzard upon your frigid ass. Florida, I said, I like you. Except now it’s FLORIDA! and always with gusto. Welcome back to my good graces. I’ll take a vodka cranberry please.

*Quick story: I went to the gym with nothing but my iPhone and when I removed my bike from the rack it tipped over and there went my phone and now my iPhone is shattered but it is still completely functional and whatever, y’all, it was FLORIDA!