“An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.” ~Bill Vaughan
I was in the middle of some long ass piece of wistful deep hearted writing about the last 10 years. About how I used to be 16 and now I’m 26 and holy shit that’s a mighty jump. It was going to be about how much has happened and the sheer balls and heartache and abject fear that went into it all. How everything happens for a reason and it would be tied up in a neat little bow with some lesson at the end. Something about how much I’ve learned and that while there were some absolutely horrific times where I honestly thought that death was imminent and the FEAR, the piss yourself fear, but despite all that, it wasn’t that bad.
In the end I scrapped all of that because we have all been down that road. You don’t need me to throw my two cents into the ring just fill up some dead air. You don’t need me saying that when things were bad they were really bad but when things were good, they were really good. I sound like some god damn therapist trying to psychoanalyze you and your relationship woes. It happened. Shit happened. And while I can easily recount terrorism and snipers and death and heartbreak; I can also tell you all about how so many things went according to plan, and then some, and I loved with a fierceness and was loved with a fierceness.
Nothing was perfect but is it ever? Things could always be better. I want to be better. And that’s all that really matters.
10 Comments
Happy New Year woman! Glad to see you here in the spot again.
This is a beautiful summing up of things, and makes me feel much, much more peaceful about embarking on another year, after what had, until reading this, seemed like quite an awful one. Perspective gained.
Happy New Year. Love you. 2010 will be better if only because we believe it will be better.
I missed you! Glad to see you writing. Welcome back, and Happy New Year.
There was some movie where the protagist kept saying “I never did mind about the little things.” Yeah, that was 2009. Bring on bigger stuff in 2010 for me to mind!!
Holy freaking hell, I’m just glad you’re back…long ass, wistful writing or not.
I’m a new reader (linked to you from Notes from the Trenches), but I will be back. Your last four sentences sum up my feelings exactly for 2009, and life in general. Thanks for posting.
Yes. xo
There are many things that happen in our lives that seems senseless. But always remember that life is all lessons. Things will not always be better because nothing comes better without adversities.
You don’t know me – I am a new reader but I wrote a post on my own blog Tuesday that is the total anti-whatyouwrote. I did exactly what you said you weren’t going to do. Now I feel foolish and ashamed. I love your writing. WRITE MORE!