“In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn’t have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order.” ~Robert Brault
On Friday I took the scenic route home from Manhattan and stopped at Alana’s house to make an already long drive even longer. She asked me how old I would be turning on my upcoming birthday. I told her 26 and without skipping a beat she announced, “That’s the dark side of your twenties you know…” And then I got up and left and hoped to get hit by a large truck on the thruway. The end.
***
I tend to become introspective as my birthday approaches. Though I’m finding that most people think about where their lives are and where their lives are going around the time of their birthdays. I’m finally at an age where I’m noticing that birthdays are coming very quickly. Yet I’m still young enough to remember thinking that my birthday couldn’t come soon enough. Why oh why was it only July? Why couldn’t it be mid-October? Why is 10 soooo far away? Why can’t I be an ADULT NOW NOW NOW? Here I am an adult and 16 years past 10.
Why can’t I slow things down a bit?
***
26 isn’t a big deal at least that’s how I felt up until two days ago when I had a massive panic attack after doing something so very un-adult like. Now six days until my birthday and I’m feeling rather itchy about the entire thing. I personally do not think I should be turning 26. Not that 20-25 were anything to throw confetti at but 26 feels different. I remember writing a post a few years ago about my then roommate who was being a douche and saying that at 26 he was ‘damn near 30′. I remember the comments and the emails after that statement because 26 is nowhere near 30. Here I am almost 26 and feeling dangerously close to 30. That’s why this is the ‘dark side’; I’m now on that downhill slope to 30. I’m torn between how arbitrary 30 is and who though of that and also OMFG 30.
I was going to have kids by 30. I was going to be married. I have neither. Am I happy with that? I think so.
***
I was around a two year old, a four year old and an eight year old respectively this weekend. Suddenly I can think of 76 other things I’d rather do than have children right now including, but not limited to, cleaning my kitchen floor with a toothbrush. Children are lovely. They really are. But I don’t think I could handle the having to repeat myself 27 times due to selective hearing. Of course when I say, “We’re having pie for dessert!” it’s a god damn miracle to see how quickly a kid responds to that.
***
I’m going to be 26 and I have at least one parent who likes me.
I’m going to be 26 and I’m having a mini-party on Tuesday night.
I’m going to be 26 on the 26th: My champagne birthday. I’m making pumpkin bread and mimosas to celebrate.
I’m going to be 26 after having 24 and 25 being so terrible and mistake laden.
I’m going to be 26 and I have this feeling – this deep seeded, all encompassing, feel it in my heart type feeling – that this year is going to be really, really good.
I’m going to be 26. I can’t wait.
9 Comments
Most of my early 20s pretty much sucked, so I really looked forward to 26. 26 was a great year for me and so far, each one since has been even better. I’m turning 30 in a few months, and I am one of the few of my friends who is really looking forward to turning 30. (Although I’m having that mixed panic of “I was supposed to start having kids by 30″ with “No way am I ready for kids!”)
Dude, the 30s are nothing to fear! Turning 30 was awesome! 31 and 32, not as much. Seeing as I had the same goals, to be married and a mom by 30 and well, not even close. AND MY UTERUS IS DRYING UP!
I think 26 is going to be a great year for you too!
I look forward to aging. Does that sound weird?
I just turned 22 and didn’t think I would be wife and mother at this time, but life’s a little funny.
And hey, at 26 at least you have perkier boobs than I do.
…motherhood does horror to your body.
Late 20s! I liked those years, but I actually am enjoying my mid-30s more. So many things I thought would have happened didn’t, but so many more things that I never dreamt of did. Enjoy the dark side!
Happy B-Day, H-Bar!
You, in particular, are going to love your 30′s. It’s like your 30′s are your opportunity to do everything that you did in your 20′s again…only wiser this time and with more expensive shoes.
Enjoy your mimosas and pumpkin bread! And, Amira is right: your boobs are fantastic.
Happy happy birthday to you!!!
I enjoyed the dark side of my twenties, but I’m with Schmutzie – the 30s are even better.
May this year bring much happiness and good fortune to you!
Yes. I enjoyed myself on the dark side but I do remember thinking “Oh my God, I don’t have much longer to do all those things I wanted to do by 30.” And then I went and made some very unwise decisions. So, moral: don’t let the age thing mess with your good sense. (I am trying to remember this myself as I head towards 40. In a few months. Gulp.)
I have loved 26-30! Great years! You have much to look forward to!
Happy Birthday!!
I LOVED turning 30. I also really enjoyed my late 20s — they were so much better than my early 20s. And yeah, 30s? Awesome. Honestly, I pretty much haven’t looked back since 27 or so. Bring on the birthdays! I’ll be thinking of you on ours.