“She the ghettoist one of us all” – Kandi
It took me some time to put my finger on whatever bothered me so much about last week’s episode. Specifically the part where NeNe went to Lisa’s house and was shocked that there were actual asian people there. The whole icky event – not the grandomther’s party because if I were 92 that would be the perfect party for me too. A cake from Giant and my family – reminded me of a family reunion I went to about a decade or so ago. We were told that it would be a giant affair with all of the relatives, from all of the branches of the tree. What I’m saying in an elusive way is that there would be white people there even though I’m black. But I don’t remember it being a big deal or a shock because it was something I had been well aware of for most of my life. But had a friend of mine showed up and said “OH MAH GOOOOOD” completely through their nasal passages, I think I’d be pretty pissed.
I once showed a photo of my aunt Rachel to a friend and she said, “She and your mother are sisters?” Yes. “Really…” Yes. “But she’s so…light”. We’re no longer friends.
Whiskey! Tango! Foxtrot!:
6) Why does Sheree always have this ‘my shit don’t stink’/holier than thou look on her face?
Every time she looks like that I struggle with what would happen if I put my fist through the laptop screen. The only thing that keeps me from doing such is my attachment to my computer. I’d like to give her a gentle shove off her pedestal.
5) Any conversation that starts with anyone having to prove or not prove just how ghetto they are also makes me want to throw something through the television. It never ends well or ends with someone being slightly offended. Usually that someone is me. Does it really matter to compare? You’re both on a television show where people make fun of you. You’re both pretty. Especially you Kandi when you make that face.
P.S. Snapping is sooo ghetto. As is whistling. And clapping. Clapping definitely.
4) NeNe harping on Kim’s friendship with Kandi. Why you ask? Because she’s NeNe and that’s all the reason you need.
3) I fell a little bit in love with Kandi this week. It feels like she’s a real person as opposed to Kim’s ‘I’m real but doused in Barbie” image. And no this has nothing to do with Kandi and Lisa’s Kid n’ Play.
Ok maybe.
I wonder about how people feel about Lisa. I mean sure she’s just some person in a land far far away who one will never encounter but still; how do you feel? I think she’s classy and considering the bunch that is saying a lot. She seems like a person who only feels the need to pull the ‘I’m going to fuck up your shit’ card when it’s really and truly necessary. Not just because or to be loud because everyone else is being loud but if and only if someone needs their hair pulled off. She wouldn’t just pull someone’s wig to shift it she would do so with ample force and purpose.
It’s sad that Kim walks away pleased as punch that no one yelled at her or tried to tear her wig off. WE’RE SPEAKING OF ADULTS. That’s in all caps in case you needed a reminder as to why I am so very shocked. But there it is.
2) What makes me dislike Sheree is what also makes me love her. I mean isn’t her “I’m trying so hard to squeeze…out…a…tear AHHH THERE IT IS!” face precious?
Kandi told Sheree of a devastating family tragedy that happened when younger members who were staying with her were hit by a drunk driver. It’s really fucking sad. Of course and yet there’s something about Sheree’s tears that don’t seem meaningful but that’s probably because they’re coming from Sheree and we all know that Sheree doesn’t have feelings unless it’s about her.
Please note that lemon tart cake thing behind her. When I got to Atlanta this fall my first stop will be Chocolate Pink.
1) HAPPY ALTER EGO PHOTO SHOOT DAY!
You won’t believe this, I’m sure but I have nothing all that snarky to say about the photo shoot. No one hit each other or pulled off another lady’s wig. It was pleasant! Everyone got along! Sheree and Kim spoke and agreed to come together for someone else and then the Earth opened up and swallowed Atlanta whole. I have no idea how it happened but it did.
Here’s a nip slip courtesy of NeNe to celebrate.
Lisa:
Kandi:
Kim:
Look Kim as her alter ego KIM!
Sheree:
NeNe:
I love when Kim asks “What is an alter ego anyway?” Is she kidding? Doesn’t she know of Peter Parker and Clark Kent? She probably doesn’t know what one is because she went as herself for her alter ego.
This week NeNe is going to mock Kim and then Kim will say something about how someone is the black version of her and the world will be restored to its natural order.
P.S. What would your alter ego be? I’ll show tell you mine if you show tell me yours.
11 Comments
I’ve decided that Sheree’s face isn’t My Shit Don’t Stink but Honey, Yours Does. I want to reach through the TV and smack that smirk.
I can’t WAIT to see the alter ego photos. I was surprised everyone got along so well, especially with NeNe directing, but she actually had some good ideas.
I wish Kim would just go away. He ridiculousness is too much.
I think my alter ego shoot would be a tomboy/sports fan and then something provocative. Since I’m a prude.
I seriously have started hitting mute when Sheree speaks because of the click/clacking/hissing noise her dentures and/or veneers incite in her mouth. Makes MY teeth itch to hear it.
I do love Lisa. She is hands down the most real and centered of the bunch. She does seem open minded and accepting until the other person is so over the top it requires some sort of response.
Plus she’s very fun and outgoing and she seems to hold her own in an elegant way. And I’m pretty sure she has never screamed, “I got CLASS! I’m CLASSY!” which gives her huge class credibility in my book.
Sheree and Kim have always bugged me, right from the start. I always want to know how these chicks know each other and for how long. I was surprised to hear that Sheree and NeNe have known each other for seven years.
Speaking of NeNe, I do like her. She cracks me up and most of the time she’s fun. Now she is moody but I still like her.
p.s. I have you in my Google Reader and you show up no problem in there, but when I click through to your site it sends me to a blank page.
I actually have to type in http://nopasanada.org to get to this page. Don’t know why that is, but I thought I’d let you know.
Also, my alter ego is probably like Kim in her natural state.
I’m basically a good Catholic girl grown up who wears Converse low tops.
I have to tell you, the only reason I have started to watch RHWofA is because of you. And now I am sucked in. Thanks for that.
Also, Kim is a wretched woman. I cannot stand her. I’m with you on Lisa, she is so far the coolest.
My alter ego: Fashionista Fabulosa. Why? ’cause all I ever wear are ballet flats and jeans and comfy tops. Do I swoon though, at the sight of candy apple red Manolos? HELL TO THE YES!
Love your blog!!
I am BACK, baby! Just in time for a nip slip!
Heather B, I’ve been stalking your blog for a few weeks now. I’m in your archives, pretending to work while I stifle my laughter. Thank you for the RHWofA rundowns. I hardly ever get to catch it, but when I do, I am amazed at those crazy beeotches!
I’m a regular ole working mom who tries to do what’s right, but I’m secretly seething with pent-up aggression and I’m power hungry, so my alter ego would be Alice, the fearless ass kicker from Resident Evil, who is conveniently as gorgeous as Milla…even in a torn up evening dress and combat boots. Yep, that’d be me in my dreams!!
Ok here’s my alter ego: People think I’m very polite and prudish and all I do is think pearls! j.crew! wine! I actually have that Scorpio tendency to be very sexual. So I would probably be in a teddy in a bed or something like that. Not necessarily a stripper because that doesn’t scream ‘seductive yet lovely’ to me. But definitely something involving me in négligée on a bed.
Love these updates! Yes, I think Lisa is adorable, too. She makes me want to move to Atlanta and stalk her into being my BFF, with her spunky personality and dedication to fitness and cuter-than-cute family. I don’t know where she gets all that energy.
Oftentimes, when I am watching the show, I truly wonder if Kim and Sheree are REAL PEOPLE. They can’t really be that bad in real life. Are people really that horrible?
Okay, maybe I don’t want to know the answer to that question. . .
Who made that cake at the end of last weeks episode of RHOA @ Derek Blanks party (alter ego event) It was nice!!!!