“Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter which fork you use.” ~Emily Post
I’m pretty sure that I mentioned that I recently moved or at least if you follow me on Twitter you’ll know that I moved and I hated every mother fucking minute of it. Including the part where it rained and I got strep throat during my mandatory vacation time. And then I went back to work and everyone asked what I did during vacation and I gave them the finger and told them to bite me. Then hacked up a lung at their feet.
The end.
Anyway I’m planning a housewarming party to celebrate many things like Very Big Decision Making and to show off my design aesthetics. Of course there is nothing actually finished yet but I do have fabulous ideas and even my mother liked my ideas.
Yesterday I was telling one of my coworkers that I am planning a housewarming party and that it would be in the beginning of October so I had time to paint and properly arrange my matching tea kettle and tea cups. I was telling her that I still need towels to go with the bathroom and about my new duvet and shams from Anthropologie. She suggested that I register for my housewarming party and people would know what to bring me. Something other than a case of Oxford Landing GSM (*cough, cough*).
I laughed at first because who does that? It’s so selfish to register for a housewarming party and isn’t it a bit weird. But the more I thought about it the more my mind changed and once again I brought it up to my mother and she agreed with my coworker; that I can register and people do actually do that. I told my mother about my BlogTalkRadio pre-interview blurb where it was announced that I didn’t want a husband or children. So since according to them I will never ever have another opportunity to register for gifts then I should take this opportunity and run with it, right? RIGHT?
But what would Emily Post think about my registering for navy blue Ralph Lauren towels? Brilliant or tacky?
19 Comments
I actually threw a house “shower” for a friend of mine a few years back. She had just bought a house and it was near her birthday and it all worked out as a big party for both things. I think there is NOTHING wrong with this (although she had some trouble registering without listing a husband – so she listed Brad Pitt). Everyone had a great time with it. See if you can get one of your good girl friends to co-host it with you it will take the edge off anyone who might get their panties in a bunch.
Umm, well, I think that you could register, and it’s a good idea, because when it comes to housewarmings, I never know what to give except booze, or boring old picture frames and I would love to know what people really want.
Do keep it as a long term registry, adding and deleting things as time goes on. For example, make it more than just for your housewarming. Tell people it’s just going to be there for birthdays and christmas gift ideas and all sorts of things so that people don’t feel obligated, but also so that if they are stumped for gift ideas, they know what to get.
Maybe have your mom and close friends spread the word?
As for what, make sure there are a variety of price points and items since everyone has different budgets. And make it at a place that can do real life shopping or online, cause that helps.
tacky. if people ask you what you would like, its a different story (and some of them will). but i would feel weird if i planned on bringing someone a good bottle of wine for their “cellar” (for example), but had to get them something from anthropology instead. so yes, i do think it would be a rather strange thing to do, but i didn’t register for my wedding either, so what do i know?
I just want to know how one goes about getting their mother to like their ideas.
I agree with aurelia. Create a wish list and spread the word that you have one. Try and keep it updated through out the year. My father requests that we keep one on Amazon so all he has to do is click the mouse a few times and he is finished shopping. Also just because you have a wish list doesn’t mean that people have to purchase from it if they have a different gift idea for you. Good Luck and Welcome Home!
Truthfully, I think all registries are a little presumptuous, however, it would be better than getting a bunch of random things you don’t need. I like the idea of a House Shower or an Amazon wishlist. By the way, I completely empathize with it only being totally socially acceptable to register for gifts if your a bride or having babies.
Keeping a regularly updated gift registry that people can refer to whenever (birthdays, Christmas, whathaveyou) is a good idea. You don’t have to explicitly mention it for particular events, but your good friends will know about it and maybe find it useful.
I am a horrible gift buyer and wish more people kept these sort of whenever type of registries.
Register all you want, you’re still getting a case of whoopee cushions, fake poo, and rubber chickens from me.
Brilliantly tacky!!
As someone who lived in 7 apartments in 7 years in the city, I never made a fuss over a new place. If you had bought a house, well maybe I could go for the registry thing, but I’m in the kinda tacky camp. On the other hand, I don’t mind when people have ongoing wish lists on Amazon, etc. because it gives me a sense of their tastes.
I wonder if Emily Post ever got laid in any position than missionary and in any other place than a dark bedroom in the bed.
I say register but take the Clinton approach – don’t ask, don’t tell. If they don’t ask what you’d like, don’t tell them you registered. If someone asks for ideas, then let them know you’ve selected a few things at XYZ store. I don’t see how that would be considered rude, even by someone who never had anal sex.
So I’ve decided to register. For many reasons including the fact that anyone invited to this shindig is a very close friend so they will actually care and want to know what I would like. And they all know me well enough to know that it’s something I would do and would just shrug and say ‘oh, Heather’ in response and then get me my duvet.
Will I be sharing any of these lists (there are two) with the Internet? No. So you all are off the hook for getting me vintage glass tumblers in green.
You’re welcome.
Yeah, I agree with Schmutzie. Keeping an Amazon wish list or something similar is always a good idea. I like buying gifts for people for specific reasons or no reason at all but I really like buying gifts for people I KNOW THEY WANT.
Also, Emily Post has a few things wrong. This could definitely be one of them.
Tacky.
People move into apartments every day. It’s just not a momentous, buy-me-something occasion.
If you ARE going to ask for gifts, why not direct people to Etsy, or have them make something so that you have a unique gift from each friend?
My brother & his fiance are being thrown a housewarming party this weekend. They registered at Crate & Barrel I believe. I say it’s good to do … that way if people feel inclined to buy you something, they will have foolproof options.
Have fun planning and getting things set up. We moved into our house last month and have managed to hang 1 mirror and 1 clock.
I’m so ashamed.
People told me to do the same thing, but I chose not to. I think the Amazon wish list is a good idea in case someone asks, but I do not expect people to bring presents, especially in this economy.
I don’t necessarily see it as tacky, especially since you are sharing it with people who know you. They know your motives and they know they don’t have to buy you something. One of the best birthdays I had ( with regard to getting gifts I truly wanted) was the year I created a wish list.
I would not do it. But if I did, I would only give it to people that ask.
Don’t register. It’s tacky, tacky, tacky! It means you’re expecting your guests to bring presents, and that’s just rude. I know people do it all of the time, but that doesn’t mean it’s still ok.
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