“We are all from the Cosby Show”
June 23, 2009 | Filed under: Humdrum, The object of my obsession
I’ve been meaning to write about this since the election. The way people spoke and speak of the First Family like they’re some sort of anomoly. “Black people. Doing well. Going to college?! Well..I NEVER..” But it’s true. We attend private universities, skip our debut into society, we produce lawyers and lobbyists and wear pearls and “act white”. And I’m never sure how to respond to that last one. Yet there are black people that do all of these things and more! It’s crazy! I know! I’ll write more about this later but for now read this from New York Magazine. And really, where will the Obamas ’summer’:
This is particularly true among parents, who talk about the importance of introducing their children to other black upper-class families so they can know they’re not as peculiar as they might feel. “Black kids need to be around successful black families, because other blacks from humble beginnings want you to apologize for being successful,” says psychiatrist Carlotta Miles. “On the Vineyard, you don’t need excuses or self-consciousness or defensiveness.” Drew Dixon Williams grew up in Washington, D.C., where her mother, Sharon Pratt, served as mayor, and she spent summers on the island. “It’s sort of embarrassing to say this, coming from Washington,” she says, “but I used to say with a straight face—because I was too young to know better—that I would get my black experience on Martha’s Vineyard. I didn’t have to be defensive about not being black enough or being black in the first place. We were all from The Cosby Show.”
Danielle says:
While I understand the intent of this article, it still comes across as divisive.
The problem, in my opinion, is that underprivileged black families are constantly exposed to wealthy or well-to-do black families (via TV shows, movies, etc.) but successful black families rarely associate with underprivileged black families. Being a poor black person is viewed as something contagious, something to run away from.
It lends itself to a feeling of “other than” rather than “part of”.
I also think that the gauge with which success is measured here is unrealistic. For most poor black families, success may mean paying bills on time, having a secure place to live, food on the table, etc. Vacationing in Martha’s Vineyard isn’t the norm for anyone, regardless of race; why is it being used as a paragon of wealth here?
Interesting article. Very thought-provoking.
Danielle says:
ALSO:
The article references a quote in which someone says, “The black part of the vineyard…” So in order to be “successfully black”, you also have to resign yourself to segregation?
Sorry. I’m done.
monkeyinasuit says:
Long time lurker, first time commenter! To Danielle-I think the person quoted may have been referring to the Inkwell Beach area. One of my post-undergrad dot com buddies is from a family that owns a house in that part of MV and the way she explained it to me (on our way there one weekend) was that many of those homes have been in the same families for years. It’s the part of MV where affluent black families were forced to buy property when legal and societal segregation was still in effect-I believe her great-grandparents bought the land a long time ago. It isn’t as much self-segregation as demographics that stay stable because a lot of property on the vineyard just passes to family members.
Momo Fali says:
I understand what Danielle is saying, but I don’t think successful black families alienate underpriviledged black families any more than successful white families alienate “white trash”. You just tend to associate with people to whom you relate. I understand more of why it’s a status issue than I do why it’s a black and white one. I’m not saying I’m upper class BY ANY STRETCH of the imagination, but I don’t prefer to be around people who act ignorant. It doesn’t matter what color you are.
For the record, I think this may be the first serious comment I have ever left here.
Danielle says:
That’s actually a really great point that I hadn’t considered, Monkey – the reality that a lot of homes are familial property and passed down through the generations. That gives the segregation reference slightly more foundation for me – modern day black families visiting Martha’s Vineyard are not choosing to segregate. Thank you for that.
I think my problems with this article are rooted in quotes like this: “When you see a beautiful black family with their kids, it makes you feel really good about being black” and “Several Only Ones say there’s nowhere in America that makes them more proud of black people.” So, beautiful black families can only be found on Martha’s Vineyard? And, as an African-American who never plans on or wants to spend one MINUTE on Martha’s Vineyard, I shouldn’t cultivate racial pride in other distinctly more realistic and attainable ways?
I agree with Momo Fali that it seems like more of a status issue; black families that spend time in Martha’s Vineyard may, from the tone of this article, view it as a respite from the day-to-day reality of having to justify their wealth and/or privilege. What I don’t understand is why these families feel the need to disregard and insult the larger portion of the population, the middle to lower class families who have no designs on a Martha’s Vineyard lifestyle but remain proud and beautiful on their own terms.
schmutzie says:
That article left a really horrible taste in my mouth. I don’t even know where to begin.
nopasanada says:
Ok, because I wasn’t able to fully involve myself in the discussion for this post, I’m going to do some writing and hopefully get something up next week. When I’m around so we can really talk about it. Danielle brought up a lot of good points and I kind of glossed over the real meaning of the article and that was a mistake on my part. So stay tuned for something a little more cohesive and comprehensive.