“Few delights can equal the mere presence of one whom we trust utterly.” ~George MacDonald
I keep a list of lessons I’ve learned in a moleskine notebook. It’s full of really excellent advice like why one shouldn’t forget to put their car registration in their car or why one shouldn’t pretend to be over 21 to purchase alchohol when they are only 20 and my personal favorite: When walking around on grass, watch out for dog shit. I think so many people would find that last one oh so handy. But for me it’s a terrible memory of a time I stepped in dog poop on my way to the school bus. I must have been 12 or 13 and later that afternoon I was making my first trip to a ‘friend’s’ house – a word I put in quotes because she turned out to be an evil heinous bitch but that’s a story for later or when I’m not still bitter. She was one of the popular girls and I spent years fawning over her trying like mad to get her to be my friend. I wanted her to like me and that there is a lesson in itself: If people don’t like you move the hell on. Don’t get on your knees and hope that blowing them will get them to like you. It won’t. Regardless, I stepped in dog poop and she subsequently made fun of me for it. The strange thing is that over a decade later it is one of those days when I can tell you exactly what I was wearing. Forever etched in my memory as the highpoint of my groveling days.
The worst lessons to learn are those that involve realizing that trust is an issue. It’s an issue with everyone but the second you find that someone is untrustworthy it’s like a 2×4 to the head. Though worse because it’s to the heart. And we all know that mending an injured heart is one of the most impossible feats known to man. We can walk on the moon but to this day no one has figured out how to fix a broken heart. And it’s like as an adult we should know better because with age comes automatic wisdom which is why adults are so fucking brilliant, right? Adults are just big third graders with more money and more anger. They do just the same things that Middle Schoolers but without parental supervision.
The more I contemplate how adults compare to children the more I get that feeling in my heart as it sinks down to the pit of my stomach. The difference I suppose is that adults are more aware and calculating of what they do and what they say. They aren’t cruel because they know better but instead because they know that no one can or will stop them. They mask things under the guise of ‘concern’ and they are a prickly, mercurial bunch hence the overwhelming cynicism in this world.
Of course there are a few good eggs but you really have to search them out but if you’re lucky you’ll happen upon one when you most need it. Though the hurt and heartbreak that comes from finding out the truth about your peers is more overwhelming and damaging than finding out that Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy do not exist. And time? That which heals all wounds? Well there isn’t enough time in the world to heal that kind of break.
That’s the hardest lesson of all.
16 Comments
Amen
Well said. And so, so right about the car registration. I just got a $300 ticket and a misdemeanor (seriously, what?) for that one.
SERIOUSLY about the car registration. Even if they see it ON TOP OF YOUR CAR…make sure you have the other half inside of your car. Because oh my hell…they’ll get you on that shit.
“We can walk on the moon but to this day no one has figured out how to fix a broken heart.”
Yea seriously how is that possible?!
I don’t get adult behavior either, it hurts so much.
Well done.
If I had that little notebook I’d write this, and it’s to your point exactly: Marry someone of good, solid character. Be certain of it. Of all things, don’t fuck this up.
Good lessons, I should have a book like that. But what the hell are you trying to say about the tooth fairy? Easter Bunny? Fucking Santa?
That Moleskine is a good idea. I’m so sorry you’re feeling alone and abandoned. Take good care.
Oh sweetie, it sounds like things are sucking big time. Wish I could buy you a drink and be a should for you to lean on. (And no, I’m not a total stalker. Yet.) Good things to remember. And as to Amy@MB&M’s addition, yes, yes, yes but make sure they love you more than life too.
that should be shouldER
You have no idea how much this relates to my life right now, and I’m so glad I read it. Thank you.
My hubs is a cop, and he says the most disheartening thing is that most people he deals with are just overgrown children with less accountability and more dangerous toys.
On the one hand I’m glad that I’m not alone on the other hand it’s unfortunate that so many people find themselves in this situation.
I really feel for you. I’m sick of grown-ups too. I figured things would be better as I got older but actually I’m more disappointed with people the older I get. Although I have to be honest and admit I disappoint myself alot these days too.
My daughter has a broken heart and found this. I thought you might like it. I’m not sure it applies to what you’re going through now, but…..
After a While
By: Veronica A. Shoffstall
After a while, you learn the subtle difference,
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn’t mean security,
And company doesn’t mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts,
And presents aren’t promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats,
With your head up and your eyes open,
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans.
And futures have a way of falling down in midflight.
After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much,
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure…
That you really are strong.
And you really do have worth..
And you learn and you learn..
With every goodbye you learn.
This: “If people don’t like you move the hell on. Don’t get on your knees and hope that blowing them will get them to like you. It won’t.”
is exactly what I needed to read tonight. Thanks.
I hope things get better.
One time on a cruise, I took my high-heeled sandals off because my feet were killing me, and as I rounded a corner into a hallway, I stepped in someone’s vomit. Good times. Good times.
I’m sorry for whoever hurt you. If I was there, I’d kick their ass. Well, I kind of fight like a girl so it’s more likely that I’d just scratch them a lot.