“You must start with a positive attitude or you will surely end without one.” ~Carrie Latet
In the event someone says to you, “It’s not broken but we’re sending you for a surgical consult to see about having the bone in your toe shaved down” and says so with enthusiasm because orthopedics is fun, kids! Then the proper response is a polite, “No thank you” because that person is holding your foot in their hand and touching each and every toe including the one that ate roast beef. And each time he suggest ‘surgery’ and ‘bone scraping’ with glee he presses down on the most painful part of your arch. But after saying, “No thank you” do remember to ask if shaving the bone might bring your shoe size from a hefty 11 to a more delicate size 10. He might just say yes as you look at him with your big brown eyes as you describe the cutest pair of mary janes. Be sure to add a gentle tear rolling down your cheek on cue. Doctors dig tears and sad stories about babies and women with a bit of a shoe fetish.
11 Comments
Dude. I COVET those shoes.
If you get the roast beef toe shaved and buy those suckers my size 10′s will die of jealousy.
(Or turn green at the very least.)
I realized that the above comment may be solely (heh) focusing on, ya know, the materialist awesomeness of those shoes and not addressing the human aspect of your post.
So, um…sorry about your toe n’ stuff?
(Seriously,Heather- funnies aside, OUCH!!! and SORRY!!! and THAT BLOWS!!!)
I could use a bone shaving too. I wear 10.5 which is practically impossible to find
I have a thing about feet. So I feel bad for you, but after having read this (and Loralee’s comment)I feel pretty bad myself. It’s all about meeeeeeee!
Well, ewww – just the idea of “bone shaving” creeps me out, although I suppose if it fixes a problem, it’s good it’s an option. So, glad it’s not broken, and sorry the shoes aren’t available in your size, for they are awesome.
If I were you I’d be very upset at your mother for not binding your feet as a child. And then I’d make her pay for your surgery and an entire closet of new shoes to make up for it.
My mom had that surgery. Took awhile to recover but not having trouble anymore.
Get to buy more shoes and be comfy. right?
oh my god.
i’m cringing for your piggies.
also…my canadian ip address won’t let me see the shoes! waaaaaah!
I would do anything to get out of my size 11 shoes. Apparently shoe designers assume females with feet that big are either drag queens or construction workers. Where can I sign up for the bone shaving?
Dude, do it. Do it because if you ever have kids, your “sure I can find most shoes in my size” size 11′s will be 12′s and life will S.U.C.K.
I didn’t know they could shave toes down to a different size. I mean, I guess that makes total sense, but also: OUCH. But yeah, big feet of the world, UNITE. I’m a size 11, a size 10 1/2 MAYBE on a super great day, and as you already know finding super cute shoes is super tricky.
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[...] could be wrong, but I think she’s kidding: In the event someone says to you, “It’s not broken but we’re sending you for a [...]