“It wouldn’t be New Year’s if I didn’t have regrets.” ~William Thomas
There are very few words that can relay just how painful this past year has been. Self-inflicted strife and heartache would touch the very tip of that iceberg but nothing to account for the number of times I felt my heart churning around in my gut and the times I sat laid in bed for hours longer than it should be legal, only to use a sick day because everything physically hurt based on a mental condition. I won’t miss the dull ache of the past twelve months and knowing that if one second, minute or phrase had been changed, if I had missed a train because of snow or if I had replied differently…my God…this year would have been far better than one of Soul Sucking Hell Fire and Doom.
2008 I will not miss you. You, wily bastard* shit head of perpetual disdain and sadness, go the fuck away.
And that’s the ‘family friendly’ version of what I’d like to say about this year. But it’s the end that counts…those last few days and weeks that prep you for the twelve months to come. The emails and notes of a different tune. The pep talks and ‘you can do it’ from 3,000 miles away. The difference between this year and the last is that while yes, I am in control of my actions but I’m not starting 2009 with dread, fear and this overwhelming guilt that bogs me down and forces me to live like I’m perpetually treading water. In the end, my legs aren’t tired, my arms aren’t sore and my head is above. This year, I won’t be gasping for air.
Here are my favorite posts of the past year. Posts that have made me smile and laugh, recoil and remember:
January: The 50MM Story
February: Filler, redux
March: Water into Wine
April: Pain and Understanding
May: La Madre
June: Fight and Flight
July: Just in time for vacation
August: What the good ones are made of
September: The rules of engagement
October: A lesson before 25
November: One day in November
December: There’s the tiniest sliver of hope at the end of this tunnel
*I borrowed that phrase from Metalia.
14 Comments
Word.
I lost my job in 2007 and 2008. I’m hoping for a layoff-free 2009. And that’s about all I’m hoping for.
I have very low expectations.
It’s crazy how similar my post tomorrow is. 2008 can bit almost everyone I know. Except amalah who had the lovely ezra. And hey, you finally meet me? That’s something right?
Wishing you nothing but health and happiness and in the new year, dear Heather.
Dear 2008,
Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Love, Moose
Good things are coming! I FIRMLY BELIEVE THIS. And when you put it in all caps, you know it’s true.
I second this: Where’d you get THOSE pants. 2008? At the toilet store?
Hoping for only good things your way in ’09!
Also, got around to reading the post before this one…and holy cow. Someone needs to step off. I may have a little bit of rage in this upcoming year.
Since May 08 evey day I woke up, looked at that little corner of the computer screen that says time and date and wondered how on earth it could still be 2008.
I so feel you! Here’s to 2009! A year of healing and comfort and warmth within.
I actually missed a couple of these posts. What kind of stalker am I?
Guess what I get to do in 2009? Me, you, cocktails, July. I’ll be the one with pit stains on my blouse.
You deserve a rockin’ 2009, my friend. MWAH.
I follow your tweets but since you don’t follow me I know you can’t see my replies to you… But for the record, I just want to say I hate new years eve with a passion too!
Well, one good thing about 2008, you met me and kicked my husband’s ass at Wii boxing. That’s gotta stand for sumthin.
And for the record, I hate NYE too. Too much build up and forced good times.
Here’s to perpetual wine in your Starbucks cup this upcoming year, babe. Big love.
dropping by my favorite blogs to wish all
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
2009 has to be better for us. It just has to be.
Love you, Heather. xo
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