Black sheep

“Siblings are the people we practice on, the people who teach us about fairness and cooperation and kindness and caring – quite often the hard way.”  ~Pamela Dugdale

G calls me to say that he got to Atlanta OK and he wanted me to give la madre the message. While G and I both inherited good looks and the ability to turn swearing into poetry, neither of us received the gift of spontaneity. In fact, I doubt that either of my parents know how to spell spontaneity, it’s such a foreign concept to them. Like using proper wine glasses and eating raw eel. So G went to Atlanta with my father and one of our other brothers and no one bothered to invite me.

Each time I demanded a reason for why I was left off the list for a road trip from hell with my beloved family, I was told that I wouldn’t have gone anyway. Which is true, I would’ve said no because I was away and sick and tired and I’d rather deal with a TSA regulated rectal search than sit in a car for 17 hours. But still! It’s the thought that counts. That maybe I’d want to be included with the boys and now I’m all stompy and whiny and petulant.

And sometimes I do this shrieking thing that really grates the inner ear like a high pitched trill on ritard, coming from an out of tune clarinet with a busted reed. Yup. That right there? That’ll get them to invite me EVERYWHERE. Clearly I see my plan working.