“At sixteen I was stupid, confused and indecisive. At twenty-five I was wise, self-confident, prepossessing and assertive. At forty-five I am stupid, confused, insecure and indecisive. Who would have supposed that maturity is only a short break in adolescence?” ~Jules Feiffer
A few important lessons I’ve learned over the last several weeks:
- Flirt shamelessly but be discreet
- Shapewear might make you feel as if you’re extremities are lifeless due to lack of blood flow BUT it’s your friend
- Purchase clothes for the size you are now not the size you hope to be once Jillian Michaels is done kicking your ass
- Baby-sitting is the best form of birth control ever
- Though you may be full of envy and jealousy, just be happy on the outside. It will make you feel better to let your friends know that their happiness is far better than your own stupidity.
- Some people are perpetually grumpy (and fuck ups). It’s their problem. Never make it yours.
- When in doubt, leave it out.
- Wear a slip
- Use primer before make up
- Less talk. More action
- Think less. Write more.
16 Comments
I really could have used the “wear a slip” lesson today. Nothing like having it hike up to your thighs with every three steps.
Think less, write more. 100%
Confession: have never worn a slip. Ever.
I’m with you on the slip. I literally JUST realized my dress is slightly see-through. Will be sitting at my desk for the rest of the day. Awesome.
I can’t believe “drink more” didn’t make the list.
oh how i love shapewear. i hate having my husband see me put it on, but whatever. it’s my friend!
I agonize over the slip thing. Seriously.
i dream of finding shapewear that actually works for me. grrr. i need the “wee girls with pot bellies” special.
Do you mind if I shamelessly copy you for a similar post today?
Also, this is so true, and I’m going to quote you whenever possible: “Though you may be full of envy and jealousy, just be happy on the outside. It will make you feel better to let your friends now that their happiness is far better than your own stupidity.”
Great, great post, my dear.
I have never even owned a slip in all of my 33 years. F slips.
You are wise beyond your years, m’dear. I was reading some of your archives and I have to say yea! for huggers! I feel like as I get older, there are too few. Or maybe I just am hanging around the wrong people.
Wise advice.
My favorite primer is “the present” by philosophy. It’s clear makeup that makes you look airbrushed.
That is some prett good advice. I have one thing to add about the birth control thing. This past summer I went to Fair Oak Farms and I saw a baby cow being born. I realize cow and people are two totally different things, but seeing that has made me never want kids.
All great advice! (Though I must admit I rarely follow the slip advice myself.)
You are truly wise beyond your years, chica. (On a related note, I just discovered the wonders of primer, too.)
I’m totally stealing this tomorrow!
I don’t wear slips ever. It’s part of my flirting shamelessly routine.
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