If I’m not here…(Volume: VIII)

“Without enough sleep, we all become tall two-year-olds.”  ~JoJo Jensen

About two weeks ago I fell asleep in my office. I woke up drooling and noticed it had only been 30 minutes but it seemed to be 30 minutes of some deep REM sleep. The following day it happened again. I fell asleep sitting at my desk and woke up leaning way back and sunk down in my chair. The way my body was contorted it was as if I’d been trying to get deeper under the (nonexistent) covers. I’m a snuggler you see. One of those people who likes to get all up in someones space while sleeping just to feel warm and close to another person.

Anyway after two days of siestas of which I am a big fan, don’t get me wrong. I lived in Spain for six months; I took advantage of filling up my belly with tortilla and then burrowing under my blankets for 45 minutes of sweet blissful sleep. But in these here United States of America napping during the day when one is over the age of five is generally frowned upon. Napping while over the age of five and someone is paying you well over minimum wage to be sitting upright and working is grounds for a verbal bitchslapping. So these two days passed and even after the naps I felt groggy. I actually felt perpetually groggy like there was mud sloshing through my skull as opposed to actual brain matter.

It wasn’t until Tuesday – after four days in DC – when I realized how god damn tired I was. Not like slightly tired with an occasional yawn thrown in for good measure but like holding up my head was work and body movements were feats accomplished without being full conscious. I walked all over the office exclaiming how fucking tired I was and that I was going to die of exhaustion despite 8 solid hours of Lithium filled sleep. Wednesday I had a Drs. appointment for monthly blood work and I threw in the whole BUT I’M SOOOO TIIIIIIIREEEED whine with sad, sad eyes for good measure. I was asked about my regular activities like how I go to work for eight or nine hours and then come home and write but if I’m not home I’m usually away for work and remember that time I was a mile high and then came home and went away again? Whoo boy! That was good (drunken) fun! Then I went on and on and on about my summer. At the end I took a deep breath and waited to find out what was wrong with me. Why was I SOOOO TIIIIIIIREEEED all of the time? What with my constant movements and all? What could it be. I was diagnosed with something called “You’re tired and you need a nap, dumbass” and also anemia (which I’ve always had, but that’s less exciting then TAKE A FUCKING NAP). It’s like I’ve spent the last five months screwing myself and having a generally swell time but without the pleasant after effects.

On Wednesday I watched Gossip Girl for four hours, Made of Honor, No Country for Old Men and napped for two hours and awoke to five piles of dog vomit in my living room but that’s ok! Because I took a fucking nap.

Now I’m feeling right as rain and can function without having caffeine intake from an IV drip. All is well.

All that being said I still managed to accomplish something this week like writing. And hell, after Wednesday I actually started to ENJOY writing again because with a good nap, it didn’t feel so very painful to do. I could think freely without needing Wellies to slog through my brain. At MamaPop a review of Ghost Town. I laughed and cried – not just because of the exhaustion – through this movie. Loved it and it’s far better than that gag reflex inducing ‘film’ or ‘marketing machine’ known as Nights in Rodanthe. At BlogHer I’ve decided that we should ALL attend the Wharton School and get some basic lessons in finances and how they work. For the record: Credit? You still have to pay it. Crazy, right?

Also do you see that widget below? Look closely. I never ask y’all for anything and if I were to start doing so then I hope you hold stock in Mikimoto and JCrew. But if you know me in real life you know that there is literally nothing more important to me than public education. It’s a long and not very sordid story but I can make it a sordid story if you’d like, you know, for entertainment purposes only. Regardless BlogHer is taking part in a massive online fundraising effort called DonorsChoose. How it works is that public school teachers from around the country submit projects and we help them raise funds through DonorsChoose. I’m going to get all warm and heartfelt here and say that public school teachers don’t get enough props or money for what they do and this is a great way to help give these teachers but more importantly their students a leg up. So donate anything you can. A dollar even. And in return you get to know that you helped a child in public school and you get the bonus of having good karma and knowing that The Universe will have your back.