Yeah but no
October 1, 2008 | Filed under: Inebriated prose, Mmhmm That's Right, Oh The Stupidity You'll See
“History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.” ~Abba Eban
This is one of those things I just have to get off my chest. Those almost inexplicable things that pull and tug and are always at the tip of your tongue and so you feel compelled to stand on your balcony and scream your feelings to the world. Sadly, only 14 people will walk down my street yet 140 people (let us pray) will read these words and most likely feel the same amount of undeinable and excruciating pain that I feel.
Deep breaths
I watch a lot of reality television. Since the dawn of the Bunim/Murray days. That said there are three people on the planet who I would have to kick in the kneecaps in exchange for the agony they put me through each and every week; thus leaving me without the will to live. In no particular order:
Kenley from Project Runway: How shall we extricate that stick from your ass?
Rachel Zoe: It IS bananas. And it DOES make me want to die. But YOU make me want to die every time you open your mouth or where sunglasses inside. Why do you do that, Rachel? To hurt me? It’s working.
Speidi: You both are those kids who ate glue in kindergarten. You probably ate lead paint as well. Your current state is just a manifestation of being poisoned as a child. Stop talking. Just stand there and be blindingly blond with that vacant “WUH?” look and collect your paychecks. No, no. Shhh. Quiet time.
Candace says:
you took the words right out of my mouth. thank you.
Kristabella says:
I effing HATE Kenley. I actually liked her at the beginning. I’d go so far as to say she was my favorite. And then she turned into a raving bitch. The best was tonight when she was like “I don’t know why they aren’t talking to me.”
Let me tell you why: Because you are a bitch and mean to Tim Gunn. TIM GUNN!
veep veep says:
see i dont watch the hills so my only absorbtion of speidi is while at the supermarket checkout or while grabbing any trashy material when hoping on a plane.
but kenley gets on my nerves (how can you be rude to tim gunn!??!) and im still waiting for the rachel zoe project to start being fantastic. right now its not even close to amazing.. its barely one step up from hey paula.
i remember the days when reality tv was fun. look how far we’ve strayed from the bunim murray hayday.
180/360 says:
I already shared my feelings on Twitter about Rachel Zoe… but KENLEY- holy shit! She is the worst. I can’t believe she made it through the last challenge. What a joke! And my sister forced me to watch The Hills last month. One episode was all I could stand.
slynnro says:
Dude. I love Rachel Zoe’s crazy ass.
And “Yeah but no” is my favorite phrase ever. WE WERE MEANT TO BE!
Kerri Anne says:
I was just talking to Kristabella about how much I wanted to like Kenley when the show first started (50’s dresses: awesome! Her little feather hair clips? Great!), but week by week she has started making me cringe whenever she opens her mouth, and last week when she was so mean to Tim? NOT COOL KENLEY.
anna says:
Uggh, I can’t stand Kenley. “I wasn’t GOING FOR sophisticated, Heidi.” Growl.
Dagny says:
Kenley (or Stankley as David Dust calls her on his blog) works my last friggin’ nerve. The last.
I don’t watch Rachel Zoe. I was afraid that if I started, I might be tempted to break the TV.
Just watched this week’s episode of “The Hills” this morning. Heidi half is starting to get less annoying. Now I find myself screaming at the TV, much to the dismay of the cats, “Will you just dump that asshole already?”
nopasanada says:
I like this. It’s what I like to call ‘Group Therapy’. But seriously how can you give TIM GUNN an attitude? And did you see the way Kenley treated Heidi last night and how Heidi was all “whoa dude” like she didn’t know quite what to do?
punchlinewalking says:
I wanted to punch Kenley in the mouth when she said “I feel like I’ve been fighting my whole life. I’m tough. That’s just me.” Kenley, saying “that’s just me!” doesn’t excuse you from being a delusional bitch.
Huh. Guess I had some anger to get out too.
ali says:
word.
Legallyblondemel says:
I find it reassuring in the extreme that a writer of your quality watches the same unforgivable crap as I do. Thank you.
PS – Kenley can seriously suck it after she was snarky to my imaginary GBF Tim Gunn. Who could possibly be mean to him??
Erin from Graco says:
Spencer Pratt makes me want to throw up.
Dagny says:
OMG! Kenley gave off some serious attitude to everyone last night. When she snapped at Michael Kors, I was waiting for him to respond, “Bitch please…”
Candy says:
Hey, long time reader, first time commenter. BUT I HAD TO COMMENT! KEEENNNNLLLLEEEYYY!
Holy God, please someone shoot her, or at the very least shoot me so I don’t have to listen to her anymore. I was never a fan. And anyone who says “What does he know?” about the Gunner needs one between the eyes. OK Maybe that’s harsh but she’s on my very last nerve.
Rachel Zoe is…well…odd. And she takes herself maybe just a tad too seriously. Ya think? Rachel, it’s only fashion.
Raychelle says:
Amen sister! Kenley is such a bitch. She makes me cringe every time she opens her mouth. Her utter lack of respect for people with much more experience & taste than her one-style-only-self makes me want to slap her upside the head!
wendy says:
I thought Heidi was going to walk over there and give Kenley a slap with both sides of her hand.
You know she wanted to!
Kerri Anne says:
Heidi was SO NICE to her, but talk about a severe lack of business sense.
“Hi, I’m Kenley, and I’m a wannabe top designer, on a show featuring Heidi Klum, Nina Garcia, Tim Gunn and Michael Kors. AND I AM AN ASS TO ALL OF THEM. Take that! future job offers.”
Momo Fali says:
I think you and I should be on reality TV. I’m thinking we’d go through a lot of vodka and Swedish Fish.
Amelia Sprout says:
If I ever saw Kenley in person, I would most likely have to hold my hands to keep from bitch slapping her. She needs to learn how to be fucking polite. You can fight your whole life for what you think is right and still be able to be fucking gracious. Do you know how many people would kill to have those people critique their designs? The worst for me was her being mean to Tim. Who could be mean to that sweet man.
whoorl says:
*pumping my fists into the air*
YES! YES! I CAN’T STAND ANY AND ALL OF THEM!
kate says:
URGH I hate Speidi. Get them off that show!
metalia says:
I think already told you, but I’ll say it again: Whenever I wear a headband lately, people tend to remark that I look like Kenley. Whereupon I promptly die a little inside.