“Millions and millions of years would still not give me half enough time to describe that tiny instant of all eternity when you put your arms around me and I put my arms around you.” ~Jacques Prévert
It might surprise you to learn that I am a hugger. When Kristin met me at my hotel in Chicago, I embraced her as if I’d known her forever – though it does feel that way – she pulled back relieved and said “oh good! You’re a hugger”.
With my nearest and dearest it’s full on with two arms. Kind as if we’re gripping each other for dear life just to be sure that the other is really there after so many months or weeks of being so close yet so far away. I judge those who give week one armed hugs or as if their hearts aren’t in. If I’m happy to see you, you’ll know that I’m happy to see you. It will be the hug and the pat on the arm and a head on the shoulder. How others react to human touch is part of the criteria for many of my relationships. Of course it’s not the only thing for not everyone is at ease with a random stroke to the shoulder just to say ‘I’m here’. But I like it; for me it screams, I’m here and you’re loved and I’m just as thrilled to see you. I love to hug like I mean it.
I leave for DC in a few days. My first trip in what has amounted to months. I didn’t start missing it until this particular trip got closer. That’s what made me think of hugging. Knowing that when I see my bestest, LB, she’ll hug me hard and smile and put her face in my hair because she likes the way it smells and then she’ll say in my ear “I just really miss you”. And I’ll give her a peck on the cheek and say, “My god, I’ve missed you, too”.
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Aw. That’s just really sweet.
I, too, gauge people on their hugging. That fakey, no-frontal-body-contact, tap-tap on the back business? Why bother?
This is sweet, HB. I am a hugger too…but can’t remember hugging you. Blame it on me being completely nervous and out of my element (never mind out of my country!)
I’m TOTALLY a hugger, too – and I really hate it when people do those half-assed hugs that aren’t even really hugs so much as very slightly touching insincere nonsense things.
Good post. I’m probably more of a hugger than I give myself credit for. And I usually do the peck on their cheek to girls who I really miss.
This made me really think of how I react when people come in for a hug, and I’m not expecting it. Now I wonder if they are gauging me the same way.
How interesting. I’d really never thought of it like this before. And, what’s more, I think I needed the added perspective!
I’m not a hugger at all – I have spatial issues. Can we still be friends?
I love the truly real sort of hugs. And best friend hugs are some of the most soul-filling hugs there are.
But I work in an industry (TV) where hugging and kissing colleagues is commonplace, and I’ve done the awkward one kiss?/two kiss? nose bash so often that I’ve developed an aversion to hugging or kissing those I don’t actively love with all my heart.
My husband is most likely my husband because on our first date he wouldn’t kiss me and instead gave me a huge, like you mean it, hug. I’m a sucker for a good hug, and I’m doing my best to raise a kid who gives good hugs.
I worry about the mental well being of those who don’t hug properly. People who hug right however are instantly my favorite people.
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[...] is all going nowhere so I will leave you with this story: I wrote about hugs the other day and how I dislike hugs that aren’t real or meaningful. You might as well just high five or [...]