This makes my addiction manageable
August 23, 2008 | Filed under: Humdrum
“Collecting quotations is an insidious, even embarrassing habit, like ragpicking or hoarding rocks or trying on other people’s laundry. I got into it originally while trying to break an addiction to candy. I kicked candy and now seem to be stuck with quotations, which are attacking my brain instead of my teeth.” ~Robert Byrne
A few months ago I developed a serious problem that I’ve been reluctant to write about. It overwhelmed and every where I went I would think about one thing. The addiction was so powerful that I’m currently plagued with a Pavlovian reaction to purchase on sight. Y’all, I’m addicted to Swedish Fish. I don’t know how it happened but I’m dealing. Some days are harder than others and it’s actually to the point where there are days when I’m mindlessly gorging on handfuls out of the bag while watching Weeds or typing away. Last week Metalia sent me a photo of Swedish Fish 100 calorie packs. I shook her down and demanded she tell me where she found them because I needed the 100 calorie packs. I craved those tiny, gummy, sugary treats like I craved my morning cup of coffee. She found them in New fucking Jersey. There are things I will go to New Jersey for; Ikea, Alice maybe but even my addiction couldn’t force me on a trek down the Garden State Parkway. Unless my addiction also came with an inability to force every other damn driver in the state off the road because it’s a state full of people who are physically incapable of merging. Anyway, imagine my surprise when I was aimlessly walking through Target preparing for Denver when something caught my eye. A box of Swedish Fish in the acceptable portions of 100 calories a pop for the exorbitant price of $2.99. But given that it’s cheaper than my addiction to Chenin-Blanc and far more portable, I obliged. And here I sit in Midway happy as a pig in the sun with a box (or two) of tiny Swedish Fishies by my side.
Jill says:
I always find those 100 calorie packs to be sadly unsatisfying. Kind of like “Oh, why did I even bother because now I just want to eat 4 of them…” glad it works for you though
heather says:
I love Target and all the lovely things it holds, like tiny teaser portions of Swedish Fish.
Though, I would like to point out that RI beats Jersey in the battle of state roadways full of drivers who are unable to merge. RI also takes the crown in other coveted areas, such as “Crippled Traffic Patterns as a Result of a Slight Shift In Barometric Pressure” and my favorite extreme adventure sport -”Slaloming From Lane To Lane Without Using Mirrors OR a Turn Signal.”
maggie, dammit says:
Mmmmmmm.
Heeeeere, fishy fishy fishy!
(Yeah, I can never stop at just one 100-cal pack of anything. ANYTHING.)
Mary Beth says:
Neener! Neener! We gotz your fish in NJ! I got a great big box of little individual bags from BJ’s here New Jersey.
slynnro says:
I actually like the idea of the smaller pieces. Regular Swedish Fish are too big!
lindsayc says:
please explain what these taste like… pretty sure I don’t have them here in BC.
insane mama says:
I can tell you where to find those sweet fish….
ANY CHINA TOWN!
Go get them now!
Laundry & Children says:
I am glad that you found your fish. Everyone deserves a little victory now and again. It is amazing how the littlest things can make you so happy. It was like the other day when the Chinese restaurant sent doughnut holes event though I hadn’t ordered them. Stuff like that can keep a girl going when times are rough.
ali says:
yet another delicious product to add to my don’t-have-em-in-frigging-canada list. GRR.
Mom2Amara says:
I’m with everyone else. 100 calorie packs of anything comes with a guarantee I’ll eat 4 packs meaning I should have just bought a normal size package at half the price. I don’t win.
You swung by the blog last week and sadly, I’m just getting around to saying “thank you.” Mahalo.
Kerri Anne says:
I still have to close my eyes whenever I walk past a bag of Cinnamon Bears in any convenience or grocery store. The bears, they CALL to me.
Andrea says:
I LOVE Swedish Fish. Haven’t had the 100 calorie ones yet, but Target sell’s big ole bags of the real ones for like $2.99. I can eat an entire bag in 1 day. 1 day!
Christine says:
The 100 calorie pack is GENIUS since I will eat whatever size is put in front of me. Man, I love the Swedish Fish. I am sorry that you have become afflicted. I waver between the fish and Sour Patch Kids. Same chewey texture (the red ones even taste the same) only covered in sour goodness.
Amelia Sprout says:
I love swedish fish, I don’t what took me so long to find them. It is a good thing I don’t see them every where.
I am disturbed by the 100 calorie thing. Like some how 100 calories makes it OK to snack on something you shouldn’t. Not to mention, it is never enough. Not that that will stop me from looking for them when I go to Target this morning.
Momo Fali says:
But, can you really just limit yourself to one pack? I wouldn’t have that kind of willpower.
Shamelessly Sassy says:
Swedish fish + Weeds= Bliss.
LVGurl says:
It takes a lot of willpower to consume just one little tiny 100 calorie bag…
Nadine/Scarbiedoll says:
I just went to a media event with at Great Wolf Lodge with my son and at the end there was a table full of swedish fish, hot lips, gummy worms, etc on skewers! Skewers of awesomeness!
PS: I can’t believe I have never visited your site before.
Suzanne says:
I had a coworker who would torture us with an OPEN BAG on the desk. It’d take him a week to eat the whole thing and the rest of us had to resist biting the heads off the fishies. I may or may not have succumbed to eating one or two…
Kristabella says:
THERE ARE 100 CALORIE PACKS OF SWEDISH FISH? I love them so. And I’m Swedish!
Also, next time you’re in Chicago, I will take you to the suburbs to this bar that has Swedish Fish martinis. They are AWESOME! And, they put the candy in the bottom of the glass!
Casey says:
I don’t check your blog with the frequency that I would like, but each time I do, I read at length and catch up. I love your blog! I love your writing style and your humorous way of taking stabs at yourself with your delicious dry humor. Its awesome-
Keep up the great work