“We exaggerate misfortune and happiness alike. We are never as bad off or as happy as we say we are. ” ~Honore de Balzac
Yesterday afternoon I decided to take the train down to Manhattan this morning – Sunday – to meet Metalia and Ali for brunch. It’s been like 28 minutes since I last saw Ali and Metalia huffed and said, “Bitch, I saw you like nine times this spring. I was looking forward to a summer without you“. I also wanted to use all $11 I got from blogging last month to purchase half a shirt and perhaps a hair clip from the H&M on Fifth Avenue.
Not three miles from Albany the train suffered severe engine troubles. So severe that the scruffy, barefoot, hippie sitting next to me thought he was in dire straits so perhaps he should call everyone in his phone to tell them that there was no air conditioning or air circulation or oxygen for that matter, on the train and if this was his last time ever speaking to them again, they should all be aware that he had been up since 4AM and had driven from Plattsburgh and he might die because apparently civilization cannot thrive along the Hudson River and he had run out of Patchouli.
After two and half hours spent six miles from my house, we were brought back to the station and I had given up hope on a peaceful brunch where Ali and I could reenact BlogHer for Metalia. Including the part where I cried and drank wine out of a paper cup. When I got out to the parking lot, I looked down at my front left tire and noticed that it was low. Incredibly low. Like gasping for air and saying “Take me now!” kind of low. As an aside, I love that when something very obvious is wrong with a vehicle and so everyone at every stop light and street corner (damn, those hookers are so kind!) feels the need to point out that your tire is low so perhaps you should check that shit out.
Anyway, when I saw the tire, I sat down on the ground in a freshly dry cleaned white dress with pockets. And then The Universe, stuck a perfectly manicured finger out at me and said, “Yippie-kay-yay, motherfucker” and laughed.
True story.
16 Comments
Um? You’re awesome.
Unlike Patchouli. (Which I totally just learned how to spell right this second. Huh.)
Anyway. Sorry your morning was rough, your brunch thwarted. Kind of happy for myself, though, that I got to read about it.
Ugh. Sorry to hear about your morning.
Everyone thinks I’m insane but this is exactly why I drive to and from Albany when I go there. Any time I don’t have to hear the conversations of a barefoot hippie is a good time.
That second paragraph may well be the funniest thing I have ever read.
Aahhh, shitty morning.
Funny as hell though.
1/2 a shirt. *snickers*
Damn all you wanted was a little brunch. Sometimes it doesn’t even pay to leave the house.
WE MISSED YOU! I was looking forward to seeing you, and having you regale me with tales from Giants training camp.
Oh, and for the record? There is no such thing as too much time with you.
I’m laughing my head off at your descriptions. I just can’t help it.
Here, have some wine.
you are five thousand times better than carrie bradshaw, you know that?
xo
Oh well then The Universe has a rather loud voice, for I heard it too, down here in DC. I heard shortly after my father and brother, in a fit of frustration, shoved my stove back in the place where it used to reside (but no longer fit into) and proceeded to chip my newly fucking installed granite counter tops.
True story.
This is what you get for sending me that braggy email!
But seriously. This totally sucks. But ya know, now we can arrange another meet up which I can attend!
MISS YOU!
Count me in for the next meet-up, as well =) Sorry for your luck, or rather lack thereof. If it makes you feel better, these kinds of things seem to happen to me on a daily basis!
Your title made me smirk, and it was only uphill from there. For me. You, however, had a seriously crappy series of events.
Can you guys plan a re-do?
My question is, did you ruin your white dress?
If only I was with you because I can change a mean tire, let me tell you.
And the one time I had a flat and was driving on it (since I didn’t want to be late for a job interview) NOT A SINGLE PERSON ON THE ROAD TOLD ME SO. Where were these people then?
Ahhh! All of this mayhem and you are wearing white. I cringe thinking of tire tracks on a white dress!
Your vacation is sure as hell OVER.