“Babies are such a nice way to start people.” ~Don Herrold
Me (via Twitter): I have a sudden urge for baby snuggling. Anyone have a baby I can borrow?
Jodi: Not a baby, but want a stubborn toddler?
Me: Baby…not toddler. I mean toddlers are cool and all but they don’t like to snuggle. They’re more interested in flailing their bodies about the room and screaming bloody murder because you gave them a yellow cup and not a blue cup and the world will die and the terrorists will win if they do not have the blue cup.
Jodi: Are you in my house?
18 Comments
Funny, now that you mention it, I’ve only ever said I wanted a baby. The words, “I just want a toddler” have never left my mouth. That’s going to be a bit of a problem in about three year, isn’t it. Add that to the growing list of things I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT BEFORE NOW. Thankfully Mama will be back to drinking regularly by then.
You’ve been to the Zombie household!
That scene is my house, too.
Come to think of it; it’s good that I know now that toddlers can be batshit fucking insane well before I actually acquire one. That way I won’t be surprised when it gives itself a bloody nose due to screaming because I was going to force it to take a bath. I’ll just be like “oh ok then. Be a psychopath. I’m going to drink now or enjoy The Upside Down show in peace. Sucka.”
Okay, seriously, how come my comments are funnier on other people’s blogs. Kristin http://fullofsnark.com/ blogged about one of our conversations and it was funny also! I guess I’m only funny when people repeat me.
hahaha. yes, toddlers can be total assholes. but, then again, you don’t have to wipe their asses.
Yeah sometimes I just hold out the wrong cup for entertainment. My niece flings her body backwards and just as she starts to open her mouth to scream bloody murder she notices that her cup is in my other hand…
Sick, I know.
Sounds like my house too, so you don’t want a preschooler either. (Though at bedtime? Awesome snuggling. Probably not as awesome if it isn’t YOUR preschooler, especially given the lack of sweet baby smell the soft baby hair and all.)
I’m a fairly new blogger and found you via Mrs. Flinger (just so you know who to blame). I like your blog and your attitude!
I prefer dogs, simple as that. Though I’ll snuggle with you if you come back to Cali! =)
Like Ali knows. You know her kids aren’t real, right? She just made them up. She’s only 17.
I want a baby to snuggle too.
Ok I’m lying.
My toddlers are really mellow, easy going little people. I’m very lucky.
stop talking about my kids! i know they suck but jeez.
Oh lord, isn’t that the truth! I spent all day Saturday with a toddler and that was enough to make my ovaries shrink in fear.
So true!! I have to go with the majority here and assume you’ve seen the, um, behavior at my house. My baby = snuggly. My preschooler = crazy. (Most of the time.)
I am laughing my big mama panties off at that one. My toddler was cuddly as a baby, but now he is a tornado in Pull Ups. My baby isn’t all that cuddly, so I am hoping that he grows in to it instead of out of it like his big brother.
Have been reading your blog for a long time, first time commenting: I love that you start each (hilarious) post with a great quote. Your blog (among a few others) inspired me to start my own. So thanks for writing!
Iggy likes to snuggle, and though he is no “baby,” he will stare at you as if you’re going to feed him every five minutes.
Toddlers are like devils and angels all rolled in to one. They can be horrible and then the next moment, they say something funny or sing the “I Kissed A Girl” song and then you forget the tantrum and your heart melts at the adorableness.