Just in time for vacation!
July 24, 2008 | Filed under: BlogHer, Inebriated prose
Updated: I think we all learned a very valuable lesson here; if you link to someone directly that person will end up finding your post. Even if it is innocuous and you’re speaking of someone with only the highest regard that person will find it and might not think of it the same way. I fucking hate blog drama. I mean it can be entertaining as hell but I, personally, don’t want to be involved. That said I don’t want to deal with people hurting my feelings because I look at blogging as my fun and safe space and I really just don’t want bullshit for myself or for anyone else. It’s really that simple. So Maria and I are fine and lovely and I’m sure she has great taste in footwear. See? Look. Love. Awww:
here was a paragraph here in which I attempted to express how starstruck by Heather B. I was, but didn’t do it adequately, as it seems to have given others the impression that I was saying something negative about her. That was NOT my intention. In this case, she is my Dooce, and I am her The Bloggess. I would never post anything negative about another blogger, ever, and definitely not the one that I adore the most. Heather B., I am extremely, extremely sorry. I didn’t mean to lump you in with the ‘mean girls’ - I meant that you are such a big fuckin’ deal to me that I couldn’t work up the nerve to say hello, not that you gave off any sort of…anything bad at all, because you didn’t. You still are a very big deal to me. Hence this replacement paragraph. I am so embarrassed and I hope you’ll accept my apology.
I am still going on vacation (have you ever done three conferences in three weeks in three different cities? The fucking pain, y’all) because I have to see my mother and my best friend and people who in real life would say “Oh my God, Heather Barmore?! You want stories about Heather Barmore?? Oooh shit! Pull up a chair and relax a little because I have some stories for you”.
[/update]
I’m going on vacation next week. Saturday to be precise. And my god, I do have some impeccable timing for I seem to be a mean bitch and now that I’ve heard it from several different people, it’s practically certifiable. I’m thinking that this gem takes the prize for the most absurd thing about me. That is until someone calls me a right wing neo-con who loves ribs:
I didn’t work up the balls to go over and say hello to Heather B. She had, like, this force field around her that I thought I’d run smack into if I came too close. I was just not important enough to penetrate it I don’t think. And I’m pretty sure she gave me the death stare a few times. Although it could have been all in my head or in retaliation for the creepy, longing googly eyes I was probably giving her the entire weekend. *sigh* Next year. Maybe. Probably not. I’m not worthy.
Just wow. I’m going to drag my pretentious ass through NOLA and then to Martha’s Vineyard.
I’ll leave you with this conversation from this evening after tossing beads from a balcony on Bourbon Street:
Him: What’s your name?
Me: Heather
Him: Heather?!?! That’s a white girl’s name. I’ve never heard of a sister named Heather. Where are you from?
Me: Um, Upstate NY…
Him: Oh, Upstate NY, that’s where all those rich people live.
And gee, Louisiana, you’ve been swell. Thank you for aiding my self esteem. How much do I owe you for the free beer and random men who decided to flash me?
slynnro says:
You are perhaps the most outgoing and friendly person I have EVER MET IN MY LIFE. Anyone who thinks otherwise is clearly lacking an understanding of PEOPLE IN GENERAL.
Do not let this crap get to you. People throwing their own inadequacies or fears or whatever on you is their problem, not yours.
Danielle says:
With this post, people are going to come out of the woodwork just to tell you how much you are loved. Focus on that instead, sweetie.
torrie says:
This is so funny. Especially if you know you in real life.
Also, I didn’t know you were rich. Why aren’t you buying me presents all the time?
ali says:
WHAT?
i’d probably put you up there as being one of the most approachable people EVER>
maybe she meant heather b. armstrong?
hahaha
sizzle says:
Guys flashing is always FREE.
Angella says:
You had a force field? HAHAHAHAHAHA!
You are all sorts of AWESOME. If people perceived you as unapproachable, then they were likely just too shy and projected their feelings onto you.
Miss you!
Miss Britt says:
They obviously didn’t see you smoke. That’s where you got me.
Amanda says:
Shit! We’re rich? Who knew!
Ashley says:
That post wasn’t meant as it was taken, I can assure you. She only meant that she absolutely adores you and felt awkward meeting you - she holds you that high… Just sayin’…
Ashley says:
PS- If you haven’t revisited her page, please do. It’s been edited. Hope ya read it, hon
Have a great day!
Miss says:
You know, you should be the one apologizing now. Not Maria. I totally get that you are probably an awesome person. For someone like MARIA to get intimidated, you must have something going for you. However, based on your automatic reaction to what she said, and how you took it in SUCH a negative way, then BLASTED IT for sympathy, I dont know how much that is true now.
I think that YOU need to edit your post now. And recognize her humilty and get some of your own.
And since you moderate, this may not see the light of day and I would understand why, believe that.
kristine says:
You didn’t know you were a rich superhero did you?
Miss says:
“That said I don’t want to deal with people hurting my feelings because I look at blogging as my fun and safe space and I really just don’t want bullshit for myself or for anyone else. It’s really that simple.”
I agree. And you are right, I did react as well to this and I apologize if I came across like a bitch. It may or may not have been intended. LOL. That was just my motherly instinct rearing its head because I love Maria. And she loves you. So by proxy, I love you? Dunno. Glad you did what you did. It was the right thing. I’m sorry all of it got blown so far out of perspective. I dont know if you will take me as a reader, but I may stick around. I keep hearing great things about you and you are kinda proving them right.
Lori says:
New here. Think I might be the last one to have ever heard of you seeing as EVERYONE at BlogHer linked to you! Had to come over and check you out. And right away I see we’ve got something in common. I’m from Upstate NY too, Rochester to be exact, although I now live in AZ. Just wanted to say HI and I’ll be back.
Rhi says:
I just feel really special knowing that I got through your force field more than once. I think you may have also asked me how I was feeling, which, WHOA.
I think you’re swell, HeatherB. You have a place on my couch in Portland anytime.
regan says:
I’m from NOLA (or was since now I live in CA) and I would like to say that I know plenty of nonwhite girls named Heather. And that the person on the balcony was probably not from NOLA. And please don’t judge us based on him. Really, we’re nice. If I were there I would show you the bars the locals go to.
Maria says:
Oh God yes, it was so completely my inadequacies. Not you at all. Have I said that enough? I’ll say it again if not. I want it to be clear.
Next year? I’m going to walk right on up to you, say hello and hand you a glass of wine with a roofie in it. Then pack you in my luggage, take you home and keep you forever in my basement. Like Powder. That’s how much I love you.
Too much?
Kristabella says:
If I learned one thing from BlogHer, it was that Heather B. is a horrible wench! How dare she LAUGH SO MUCH!
Also, I learned the importance of linking to other blogs. If Dooce reads ALL her links, then everyone else will too. (I know I do.)
So unless you’re blowing sunshine up someone’s ass or apologizing for stealing their Cheetos, don’t link.
camels & chocolate says:
I think you rock. And I’d totally run at full speed into your force field and knock you over with the biggest hug you ever did get if we were in the same room together. Just sayin’.
Mocha says:
Am I too late for the orgy?
Oh, shit. Wrong blog?
Moose says:
Shall I spit on the blog drama for you? Happy to do it. Just say the word.
Queen of Shake Shake says:
Well, I’m glad that all got straightened out.
And the comment about a sister being named Heather? God, sometimes I just love the South. (snort)
uǝʞoʇ says:
A white girls name? Idunno. Seems I remember going through baby name books back when I was preggars with the big giant kid, but I just don’t remember any segregation amongst the lists. No delineation of white names, black names, asian names, hell the closest they even came to jewish names was to say biblical…quite pc when one thinks about it.
What a load of crap.
Heather is perfect for you. And Heather B. just makes it even more yours.
gorillabuns says:
I say your field is filled with awesomeness.