If I’m Not Here…(Volume 1)
July 9, 2008 | Filed under: If I'm not here...
“Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn’t know you left open.” ~John Barrymore
For the most part Tuesday was horrendous. A little bit of this and a little bit of that made up for a hellacious day where by nightfall I was hoarse due to a throat full of phlegm from all the heavy sobbing through out the day. Never before have I been so thankful for an office door. That evening, after a lengthy Come to Jesus talk (the result? I was right! PWNED! The end) I flipped open my laptop before sleep. I was in a bit of a Jack Daniel’s haze so I was most certain that my brain along with Gmail had concocted some scheme to terrorize my psyche. Alas I hadn’t been hallucinating when I read that I had won $250 courtesy of HP in a contest for BlogHer. I did a little dance on my bed while rather scantily clad and flopped back down to an ice cold drink. Seconds later I opened my laptop again – I always check my mail twice before bed. I’m obsessive-compulsive like that – and there, right where my HP email had been was a separate email stating that a post of mine had been chosen for me to read – OUT LOUD – in the BlogHer Community Keynote.
If you recall, when the Community Keynote process started, I was on the search committee. Due to other deadlines and work and poring over the brilliant words of others, I hadn’t even thought of submitting a post. I even recall Eden asking if I had and I said that I hadn’t because there was no time and then promptly forgot about it all. So imagine the utter surprise that coursed it’s way through me when finding out that an anonymous reader – Elisa won’t tell me who it was and only says that it was a Secret Admirer – went and found a post that s/he enjoyed and then submitted it to have me read out loud. Like in public with other people around. I don’t care if half the audience has seen me drunk and obnoxious and I’ve slept in their guest bedroom, it’s still public speaking. But never mind that, the point is that my utter shock upon finding out was warranted and whoever you are (please tell me, I don’t like surprises and it’s killing me!), I appreciate it more than you know. I’m really excited for this and I hope you all enjoy it. If not, well, most of you might be drunk by then anyway. So whatever.
And so that ended Tuesday. Now it is Wednesday evening, my favorite moment of the week. When I can sit back in my hot ass apartment with no writing deadlines looming over my head trying to eat me alive and with all of the words and synonyms and analogies sucking the life out of me. As much as I enjoy writing, by Wednesday at 3PM when my MamaPop post is due, I’m done. The timer has gone off. The little plastic piece has popped out of my ass. Just done.
After Aimee’s suggestion, I’ve decided to do a weekly link post to all of the damn words I’ve written for the week. That way you all can see that my mind doesn’t always revolve around drinking and my boobs. Sometimes I think about the state of the economy and why screenwriters put forth such asinine shit. Really important things going on up in my head and out via my finger tips. Obviously.
This week there is no BlogHer post because Denise is kind and lovely and pretty and perhaps if I kiss her ass enough she’ll give me another week off for being so damn awesome. I’ve guest posted at Mocha Momma and well the word ‘racist’ came up once in the comments. So… yeah. And at MamaPop, I finally took myself on a date to see WALL-E and I haven’t been that delighted by a junk collecting robot in quite some time.
Now I am off to practice not contorting my face every time I speak and not having a face that resembles a squished prune when smiling. I imagine looking constipated with a cockeye when doing my reading. I hope you all can be there to witness the beauty!
To Think Is To Create says:
Hey congrats on the keynote! I think I need to hang around you and let some of that luck rub off on me…
slynnro says:
IT WAS ME!
(It wasn’t.)
But I look forward to seeing you read it regardless.
Kristabella says:
It wasn’t me! I was too busy pimping myself and not getting picked!
I’m excited to see you. I’ll bring a flask in case you need it. And I promise not to heckle you.
Lissa says:
I’m very sad that I won’t be there to hear you read it. Tear. BUT Slynnro has promised to tell me all the important parts of blogher and this is definitely an important part!
sizzle says:
I’m totally looking forward to hearing you read. Well, and meeting you. Your name is Kelly, right?
Tootsie Farklepants says:
This sounds like it’s going to be the best part of BlogHer! Wish I were going. Maybe next year.
Congrats and break a leg!
TMC says:
Congrats on the HP and the Keynote wins!
Suebob says:
Hey Kelly, I have admired you ever since that comment you made at last year’s BlogHer! (Joking. Yeesh).
And can I say how incredibly freaking proud I am to be sharing a stage with you? How far we have come since that first awkward night huddling around the bar of the Marriott San Jose.
Lady M says:
Came over here after reading your post at Kelly’s. I’ve enjoyed your writing at the BlogHer site for a long time (starting with a post about Coach purses, I think). Hope to meet you at BlogHer!
Moose says:
Hooray! Congratulations! Now I wish I was going to more than the cocktail parties. Someone needs to volunteer to be your videographer.
Katie says:
Wow, congratulations! I would say your Tuesday turned out to be quite all right after all!
Maria says:
I won the HP $250 too! Woo!
So…I’ve been lurking on your site since…longer ago than I’d like to admit. But I figured I’d say hello before BlogHer and warn you to ignore me if I get to meet you and turn into a blubbering mess in your presence.
I’ll be in the front row for your rant.
lizriz says:
Great quote (as always) and so much awesome great news! Woohoo!
Angella says:
Moose gave me a great idea. I am SO bringing my video camera…
Jamie says:
Congrats on both wins! I’m looking forward to the keynote!
Christine says:
Ah, geeze…I was supposed to win that money!
Congratulations on two rawkin’ emails in a row. Can’t wait for the keynote!
SparklieSunShine says:
I thought it was time for me to stop lurking (god I hate that word) and comment! Congrats on both of your wins! Yay!
I keep hearing about that darn Wall-E movie, I may just have to go see it. You know, after I watch Hancock.
braine says:
You take that back about your face.
Zandria says:
That’s awesome about your $250 prize! How cool.
I would NOT BE HAPPY about reading a post of mine out loud. I would feel extremely honored to be chosen, but I can’t imagine reading one of my posts for a large group of people. Someone else’s post? Maybe. But of course YOU will be GREAT.
On a related note, Elisa just asked me if I would facilitate the 20-Something Bloggers meetup on Friday morning. It seems that the person who originally asked for the group decided not to attend the conference. So now it will be me! That will be kind of nerve-wracking too, but I’m hoping for the best.
The Over-Thinker says:
HOLY BUCKETS–Congratulations, HB! Will those not able to attend BlogHer this year be able to watch it? Will they post it somewhere? Or, will I have to bribe Angella to shoot a video of it from the audience??
Queen of Shake Shake says:
I was starting to get a handle on my Incredible Sulkiness, but now that I hear you will be reading at BlogHer, I’m all waaaaaa! that I’m not going again.
Have a great time! I know you’ll be a hit!
metalia says:
Have a fantastic time; so sorry I won’t be there to hear you speak! xo
Kristie says:
Well hello there! I hear through the grapevine that you are a vegetarian AND going to BlogHer. Me too! On both accounts! Oh, and I do WW, too! And I’m sad I’ve never read your blog until now. I’m a slow learner. Anyhoo….perhaps we’ll get a chance to meet in SF. (The grapevine was Kristen, just FYI.):-)