Time Traveling Bunnies
June 3, 2008 | Filed under: BlogHer, Blogology, Listy
“My life has a superb cast but I can’t figure out the plot.” ~Ashleigh Brilliant
Though I am practically genetically predisposed to not be able to write quick and concise paragraphs and/or sentences, I am going to try and go against the grain and my DNA to write a list. For the record I wish y’all could so the lists I write. They aren’t lists so much as they are very long diatribes on what I should do, how it should be done, when I should do it and my precise thoughts on why it needs to be done. Sometimes they are even annotated with cute little footnotes and alway, always, always in MLA format.
1) The other day I told Susan that I didn’t want to go to San Francisco. She didn’t seem all that concerned because she probably sensed I was talking out of my ass and that if I was serious she would have Chris drag my ass from Albany to SFO if it killed me. And then Leah, Simon and Angella would force me to drink champagne and chain me to the hot tub. Then Whoorl would be all “YOU WILL DRINK AND YOU WILL LIKE IT OR ELSE I WILL FORCE YOU TO SPEND 36 HOURS ALONE WITH MY 2 YEAR OLD!” Fear not, I am going to San Francisco but I’m having a stupid ass blogging crisis and I’ve never actually had one before. So what am I to do? How am I to proceed? Suggestions more than welcome.
2) I’ve magically turned into one of those people who really fucking enjoys running. I mean REALLY. I mean the other day on the plane down to Baltimore I kept thinking about the great run I would have on Capitol Hill this morning. And I did. I used to be in the running is not something you do unless trying to get away from something, like a clown or a hyena, not something you do for the pure hell of it. But I seem to be wrong. Next thing you know I’m going to be all “Hot damn, that John McCain sure is swell!”
3) Saturday night I was tanked and at a black tie event in gold hooker heels with bright red nail polish. By Sunday afternoon I was sailing and jumping off the boat into the bay of the Susquehanna River. Such is life these days; I never know where I’m going to end up next.
4) A question I’ve seen floating around that I, too, have wanted answered: When y’all comment, you know that I read them right??? Because I do. I just don’t respond to every comment because while I am pretending to be good at the wit, I am just not so good. All of my responses would be “Awesome! Thanks!” How do we feel about this current system? Or could you really not give two shits and you’d much rather me talk about how much I hate Viognier but would roll around in a tub full of Riesling?
5) My mother WILL be guest posting again. She even went so far as to go and read the comments from her post while she was in Martha’s Vineyard. The only thing she does in Martha’s Vineyard is sit on her porch swing and go swimming at the ass crack of dawn. She does NOT use a laptop. That’s how strong her love is for you all. So for those who have asked over and over and over again; yes, she will be posting again.
6) The title of this post has been tickling me since Ben said it to Locke the other night on LOST. Then I got completely mind-fucked and now it’s been all of five days and do you people know how long it is until January??? JANUARY. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do until then except count the hairs on my ever present unibrow. The other option would be to weep silently and drink. But I think I do enough of that as it is.
7) Elisa asked if I would be on the BlogHer Community Keynote Committee. And I was like “I mean, I guess” while twirling my hair and rolling my eyes and acting like a forlorn teenager. In all seriousness, this is the brain child of the lovely Mrs. Kennedy and it’s an awesome (see? there I go with that word again) idea. In sum; it’s a BlogHer open mic, where people read their favorite entries. So, I strongly suggest reading this post and then going forth and sharing. Because sharing means caring and I am a very delicate flower these days so please do something, anything to make me happy.
8 ) Yesterday while I was in the throes of telling the Internet that maybe things aren’t working out and perhaps it can bite me, Y sent me a photo from the famed Cheeseburger Party last year in Chicago. She told me that she loves me and I got a little misty eyed and so here we are today.
whoorl says:
Um, you are the reason I am coming to Blogher. BUCK UP, CAMPER.
(Seriously, big hugs. A blogging crisis is no fun.)
Angella says:
1. If you bail on sleeping with me in SF I WILL KICK YOUR ASS. I swore, so you know I mean it. As for the crisis? I’m in the midst of one myself. Meh.
2. I love running, but my knees can’t take it anymore. I’m old, yo.
3. PLEASE tell me there is a photo.
4. I have no answers, my friend. I haven’t figured out what to do with my own comments.
5. I just love your Mom. Possibly more than my own. Would your Mom be interested in adopting me?
6. I say we weep loudly. And drink. Together. In SF. See point #1.
7. I saw you on the list! And am so proud of you! I love your category, but since we will be sleeping together, there may be a conflict of interest?
8. Y has told me stories of The Cheeseburger Party. I hope there’s another one this year.
PS - See point #1. If you bail on me, you are in BIG TROUBLE MISSY.
Momo Fali says:
I can’t afford to go to BlogHer. Stupid economy. I will stay home and drink a bathtub full of Riesling. So there.
She Likes Purple says:
I’m so proud of you! (For the BlogHer community keynote thing.) Really, I have no right to be proud but I am!
Also, how is LOST these days? I stopped watching at the end of last season but I have tentatively planned to download season four and watch it this summer. Is it still good? Will I be insanely confused?
Jen says:
My little list for you:
1. A blogging crisis? Dude, I wrote about GARDENING the other day. Can’t get much worse than that.
2. I can’t believe you actually enjoy running. The only moment I enjoy is the moment when I am finally DONE and can walk again.
3. How good is LOST? I finally made it through the two hour finale last night. JANUARY? Seriously?? I don’t know if I can make it.
4. BlogHer will be awesome. From what I hear, anyway.
nopasanada says:
I feel like I should clarify my blogging crisis. I was NOT going to pack things in and delete it all or password protect or anything extreme. Nor would I ever write one of those long drawn out posts on the merits of blogging and why I do it and then ask for you all to beg me to keep on writing. It was a brief (like 36 hour period) where I was just ‘eh’ about blogging and I thought that one person (seriously ONE person who I respect though) hated me and that led me to telling Susan that I was on the fence about San Francisco.
I am definitely going. I will definitely be drunk and I will definitely try to hug people after getting my drink on. The end.
Suebob says:
Really good viognier puts all other whites to shame. But 95% of it isn’t that great. The one I remember fondly is the Alban Vineyards Estate…OMG. But even the other, non-estate ones from Alban weren’t nearly as good. Finding another viognier like that is the impossible dream.
Velma says:
OK, fine. I will take one for the team and drink all the viognier to be had at BlogHer. I’m a giver like that.
sizzle says:
I have a blogging crisis at least once a month. I have no cure as drinking doesn’t seem to be helping. I saw that you’re on the committee- I think it’s a great idea and I can’t wait to see it at BlogHer.
I’m so glad someone used the time traveling bunnies bit somewhere cuz, come on, that shit is too good to pass up!
Camels & Chocolate says:
Another reason why we should be BFF: LOST. Oh the fun we’d have, rewatching seasons 1-4 and totally geeking out.
Um, I’m really jealous, in one word, of your attraction to running. I mean, perhaps it’s because I’m training for a marathon that is LESS THAN TWO MONTHS AWAY, and knowing that I have to run 26.2 miles in one swoop is FREAKING ME OUT, but I really despise every other day when I strap on my running shoes and hit the pavement.
Next time I go out of town, will your mom guest blog for me? Pretty please?
ali says:
ahem.
i will be there.
that should be reason enough.
hahaha!
Kristin says:
Continuing our New Jersey barstool conversation is one of the reasons I am looking so forward to BlogHer this year.
slynnro says:
I don’t respond to all my comments either. I sometimes respond in the comments. It takes a lot of time to respond to every comment, and some days I have the time and some I don’t. I don’t want to start a trend of responding and then not keep it up and people think I am ignoring them. So I just don’t start!
Kristabella says:
Um, you HAVE to go to SF because then we can meet and drink together and hide out in the corner of the reception room holding hands behind the fake fern.
The comments thing, I respond by email, but if someone doesn’t, I don’t get mad and think they don’t read. I know we all read the comments. We like comments.
I used to respond to every one. But now, it is a little harder and if I’m going to say something like “Thanks!” I tend not to do it.
Lost, HOLY SHIT it was AWESOME! There are so many questions rolling around my head and I cannot wait that long! Remember when all we were wondering about was polar bears and three-toed statues?????
Aimee Greeblemonkey says:
awww, mannnn. Now I am sooo sad I won’t be at BlogHer! I would love to alternatively heckle and cheer for you!
Delany Dean says:
Gawd, who ARE you? You sound like you might be pretty interesting.
Delany
Dagny says:
I know your butt will be at BlogHer. Or else. I’ve even booked a room — nearby. Because one should never drink and drive. And because BART closes off at midnight. *gasp*
gorillabuns says:
Maybe I should rethink not going to BlogHer.
gwendomama says:
i can’t wait to meet you in person but please don’t hold it against me that i will be too drunk.
and i will not force you to stay with my two year old even though i can have him delivered at a moment’s notice.
Bipolarlawyercook says:
I’m glad you’re going. I am so looking forward to seeing in person from afar all the people whose writing I’ve been reading from afar. : ) Maybe I will get to buy you one of those glasses of champagne.
Kerri Anne says:
I’m pretty sure I’m having a full-blown life crisis, blogging and everything else included. It’s fab.
That being said, I am SO psyched to see you in July. Seriously. You can not escape the hanging out with me you will be forced to do. Heh.