“If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.” ~Will Rogers
Hypothetically speaking, let’s say you arrive home rather late at night all prepared to settle in with a large glass of wine and Lost. Upon entering into the doorway of your home you are greeted by not one but two dogs. Nothing new as you’ve already had two dogs – including a rambunctious puppy – in your home before, so you casually saunter in and just as you step past the entry way, one of the dogs, a dog that you have never before seen in your life greets you with barking. Loud barking. And growling. A large black dog that you have never before laid eyes on so for all that dog knows you could be a large, black, female burglar (again, HYPOTHETICAL). The dog barks and growls while the other lovely springer spaniel that actually lives in your home stands back in abject fear.
All of the above occurs and so you decide to find the owner of the dog who says “Oh, she won’t hurt you”.
Now, pop quiz. Would you:
A) Say, “Alrighty then” and just be on your way past the possibly vicious dog who might bite your arm off so you can see Sawyer topless. Who needs an arm when you’ve got hot naked man.
B) Remain in your entry way using the antique mirror as a shield.
C) Run away from your home as fast as possible, locking the door behind you because you are positive that a dog so large and probably evil will open the door with its non-existent opposable thumbs.
D) Call your roommate and tell her to get the fucking dog out the fucking house but pepper your statement with a little attitude and then pour yourself a giant glass of Riesling while thinking of ways to be passive aggressive in your office meeting the next morning.
25 Comments
D. Although hott naked man was tempting.
THIS IS WHY I AM NOT A “DOG PERSON”.
Might I suggest “E”?
Open door, kick stupid-ass dog outside and tell owner to DEAL.
Also. Two months tomorrow? SF BABY!
D. Not doubt. Except possibly screaming the entire time…
I’m very much thinking D is the best option. Mostly because it involves Riesling.
Um, D. And this is EXACTLY why I’ve not had a roommate in 9 years.
Probably D but A sounds good if the naked man is really hot.
I like the antique mirror shield option, but only if it involves some trick wherein you make the obnoxious not-your-dog disappear.
I’d definitely go with D.
Hmm..A or D.
No, definitely D.
D. Duh. Because I am hateful.
And this is why being married is great- you get to be a total asshole to your roommate with the knowledge that he must get over it lest he be forced to part with 50% of his earnings over the course of the marriage. Hooray community property.
I’m gonna have to go with D, but hot, naked Sawyer is very tempting, especially when you pair it with hot, naked Sayid.
I would say A, but only because I have no spine and am the person who just wishes that she were more like D.
Sawyer. Hands down, pick Sawyer. Screw the dog.
D. Of course. Like it was even a hard decision.
I can never live with someone again. Spinsterhood is looking mighty fine from here.
Oh I would totally do D. I hate barking and nothing comes between me and Sawyer.
D.
Did I pass?
D. But with Pinor Noir instead of Riesling.
PLEASE tell me you didn’t miss LOST last night…because hi! amazing!
How about E: Throw some tempting food item into roommate’s room, dog runs after food item, lock menacing dog in roommate’s room, enjoy oogling Sawyer.
You let mom guest blog and not me? This is exactly why I put Nair in your shampoo.
Definetly D…if a dog shows up without any preparation…the dog and its owner whomever maybe, can and will be subject to my verbal abuse. I say this and I own a puppy, love pets but still my boundaries would have been crossed.
All of the above? Shucks, you didn’t tell Bossy there was going to be a Quiz.
D. No doubt about it. The only difference is that I’d drink the Reisling right out of the bottle.
I think I’ll go with the D/B combo. And like Momo Fali, I’d say screw the glass.
D. Obviously!