Everything’s Coming Up Tulips
May 11, 2008 | Filed under: Fotografias, This side of the Hudson
“Everything is blooming most recklessly; if it were voices instead of colors, there would be an unbelievable shrieking into the heart of the night.” ~Rainer Maria Rilke
Y’all, I stepped outside my house the other day and was promptly greeted by an angry mob. An angry mob stuffed with festival food and cheap beer ready to breathe my air and brush past me and trip me with their humvee sized Maclarens. Then I died a very sad death due to acute social anxiety. My tombstone read: “Heather B. was such a lovely person until she found herself around other people. Then she turned into a hot mess.”
Anyway, this is what I figure Hell will look like. But I bet there’s gonna be beer!
Ok so I didn’t die. More like I was stationary for 48 entire hours during which I had exactly two goals: 1) Find the funnel cake. Imbibe the funnel cake. Get the powdered sugar in my hair. Remove powdered sugar from my person by licking. 2) Use tulips for hypnosis. Rinse and repeat. I’d say this weekend was a rousing success. AIM LOW, kids!
And then all things went to shit when I discovered Lightroom. Better yet, I say “Simon!” in a sing-song voice and he’s at attention. Now I get to take 765 photos of my cat, then over expose the shit out of them and make them look all mind-bending and bright and ‘antiqued’. It’ll be like being high all the time but without the severe paranoia. No Pasa Nada: Like tripping on acid. The good stuff.
More like No Pasa Nada: Just a touch of class and crazy.
lacochran says:
Is that Patrick Swayze in Ghost II, coming back as a cat? *cue the Righteous Brothers*
Cool pix!
Camels & Chocolate says:
a) Funnel cakes are the shit. Unfortunately, the last time I found one was at Coney Island. And guess what…they are not the shit in the shitty part of Brooklyn.
b) Everyone is posting pics of tulips! There are no tulips in SF sadly.
c) I just got my first Lightroom tutorial from my bf today (we’ve had it for months, but I never bothered learning). OBSESSED.
Dagny says:
Funnel cakes are the reason to go to the state fair. And Simon is too precious for words. Hopefully your obsession with Lightroom will mean more Simon viewings…
ɹǝƃƃolquǝʞoʇ says:
Yeah, but that pic of your cat is marvelous!
slynnro says:
I love funnel cakes so very much. I used to get them at the Peanut Festival in the dinky ass town where I grew up. And walked in the parade. Because I was a cheerleader. Who walked in parades. And don’t forget about homecoming. I was in that too. Before I joined my sorority. I AM SO COOL.
Angella says:
I use Lightroom to edit every. single. photo. I just finished Scott Kelby’s Lightroom book. SO MUCH FUN!
elise says:
I just really, really love that you spelled “y’all” right. Thanks for that.
Shamelessly Sassy says:
Funnel Cakes & Tulips make me drool. I just discovered lightroom also, and so far, I suck at it..pretty hard.
Jen says:
Tulip Fest baby! Believe it or not, this was the first year in probably ten years that I haven’t been able to go. I made a brief appearance on Friday afternoon to pick up a t-shirt for my mom (annual Mother’s Day gift) but left empty-handed because the t-shirt booth wasn’t open yet. I knew I should have stopped for some fried dough!
sizzle says:
Tulips are so pretty. Damn it, I want funnel cake now.
Kerri Anne says:
I LOVE tulips. My favorite of all buds, methinks.
Momo Fali says:
Where was the funnel cake when I was tripping through Albany back in the early 90’s? It would’ve made the 17 hour car ride worth it.
LisaBinDaCity says:
Sorry, did you say anything after funnel cake?
Kristabella says:
That cat is “I will eat your hair in your sleep, woman.”
kris says:
That first picture captures my worst nightmare. Beer + crowds (without baseball or some other sporting event on which to focus) = drunk frat boys bumping into Kris and making her irritable. Then again, there was funnel cake . . .
kris says:
Oh, and what is that thing in the last picture? Too skinny for a frat boy. Hmm. Unfamiliar.
Jakki says:
The picture of your cat is pretty awesome.
rebecca says:
Dude. Funnel cakes. Now I want some!!
Zandria says:
That’s a lot of people! Sometimes situations like that can be fun…other times, not so much. The funnel cake looks yummy!