“If you don’t get everything you want, think of the things you don’t get that you don’t want.” ~Oscar Wilde
I bet if you were to perform a google image search using the phrase “perpetually disgruntle” there would be a 400 pixel width photo of me, oily forehead and all, attempting to shove my foot up someone’s ass with a bill from Verizon in the one hand and my mouth forming some words. Obviously you wouldn’t be able to tell what those words are via photo but I can assure you that I would probably be telling Verizon – most emphatically. As you would be able to tell by the way my face is contorted – to ‘SUCK IT’.
Then you would probably feel the need to back away from the computer, ever so slowly, because waking the beast, though I would only be a google image, would probably scar you for life. And I might tear you limb from limb and it wouldn’t be pretty.
I am going to attempt to be zen and calm like and not want to hurl my body across the room at someone but here is a point of order: If someone owes me like $10 I could give a damn. Really. If three people or entities owe me somewhere in the ballpark of $2500 then I start to get a little foamy at the mouth because where on my chest do I have the words “Citibank”? I just don’t see them.
This calls for deep breaths. VERY deep breaths before I completely lose my ever loving shit. The plan is to attend bootcamp right now and when my trainer asks me to take this 12 pound ball and toss it to my teammate, well don’t be surprised if someone ends up a little more concave than convex in their torso.
14 Comments
It is probably improper blog etiquette to comment on ones own blog entry but I felt the need to say that this is a minor annoyance on top of several other annoyances and while I know I said that I am trying to be positive it is difficult to be positive when there are things that cannot be changed. I know that I can change the way I think about these things. So I am going to *think* the snow away and several thousand dollars to appear in my checking account. I might end up with several burst synapses but hey! How about something different for a change?
That imagery was just beautiful.
I try.
Waking up to this snow was just the icing on the moldy, awful cake, wasn’t it?
Even better that it was like 5 AM when I left the house and the first words out of my mouth were, “Is that snow?” and my roommate was like, yes, dumbass, it is snow. Then I probably cried or prayed for a plow to hit me.
Yeah I still can’t understand how it is possible to think positively ALL the time. There are going to have to be occasions where it is ok to think negatively because things are, well…negative.
This post is actually making me look forward to boot camp.
Sometimes you just need an outlet for frustration that does not include weapons of mass destruction.
(This is the artist formerly known as Angela!)
Holy crap–$2500??? I’m sorry, but all the positive thinking in the world wouldn’t make me not be pissed off about being owed that sum of money.
It’s always fun and games at boot camp until someone gets a concave forehead from a medicine ball. ;S
Money is the root of so many problems. I hate it. It’s ruined a lot of relationships. I’m sorry people are sucking ass and not living up to their responsibility.
Especially when you are such a generous individual.
It blows.
I always use the phrase, “Don’t wake the bear.” And now my co-workers say it about me if I’m particularly disgruntled on a certain day.
Ouch. That kind of morning can only be solved by throwing something at someone.
Please throw the ball at me. Please. Throw it once at my stomach, and ten times each at both of my thighs.
I have yelled many a nasty word in Verizon’s direction while imaging the guy going “Can you hear me now?” while falling into a large, deep, hole. Ahem.
Good to see you channeling all that energy into something worthwhile. Think of the strong arm muscles you’ll gain while hurling that ball! So proud of you!
Can I just tell you I am currently owed somewhere in the vicinity of $12,000 for stories written between December and March??? Yeah, because since I’m a full-time freelancer from home, I clearly don’t need to eat. FRUSTRATING. I feel your pain, my dear.
Oh my hell. See? That’s when someone loses and appendage. I’m sorry!
Dude…it’s almost impossible to be positive for most of the day. Sometimes we have to give in to the anger.
And dude…”suck it” is one of my favorite things to say!