No more sauce
March 14, 2008 | Filed under: Just Add Alcohol
“And then he goes off on one of those run on sentences that little kids often do. Sometimes little kids are every bit as good as William Faulkner” – Jonathan Kozol.
Last night Jonathan Kozol was in town, which caused several individual bits of brain matter to have repeated orgasms. As they were unable to believe the fortune that had fallen upon their laps with the opportunity to hear the God of Pedagogy speak in the flesh. So they did what any obedient brain matter would do, they soaked up every bit of information and laughed heartily at anecdotes of the failures of education policy.
And this is how a week of complete nerdgasm ended. With my final, “Guess who I saw?!?!” and everyone surrounding me giving their best “I could give two shits” look of complete incredulity. It’s been fun to be bouncing off the walls because Anil effing Dash was three feet in front of my face and Jon and I had a nice chat about my shot put abilities and I knew David Paterson before he was famous. And yes this is all so very titillating (apparently it’s sexual innuendo day in these parts) to like 17 people. The rest of the free world questions if at any moment I had had more than three drinks. Funny! Because 90% of my OH you think I’m a complete DORK? I’ll show you complete DORK to the 89th power, week of fun was not so proudly powered by grey goose. In fact Tuesday night, when the BFFE came to town, my main and only course at dinner was vodka.
This my friends is the week that I realized that a) I will get sick of drinking. So sick in fact that if anyone at anytime in the next 24 hours presents me with any sort of alcohol, well, I cannot be held responsible for what I might do to that person. And b) Holy shit, I am such a flaming dork. So flaming that one might think that pocket protectors are going to shoot out of my ass.
I now need a nap. A very, very long nap. And if anyone feels moved to ask me about wine, then be prepared to lose an appendage.
Moose says:
I will join you in renouncing the sauce. With no good excuse (like blogging superstars), I have been drinking every day since last…Thursday? Wednesday? Oh my poor liver. And aching head.
DEMON LIQUOR, I REBUKE THEE.
Bridal Bird says:
Please tell me that you laid some awesome pick-up line on the Koz. “There’s no shame in this nation, lovah,” while sweeping your hand to indicate your girly curves.
slynnro says:
Maybe you should stop bragging about all those boring people and talk about how awesome it was that you met me duh.
No need to send insulting reply- I know I’m not very cool.
But it’s great that you love what you do and you enjoy the nerds. Rock on!
jess says:
here, drink this…
Angella says:
The visual of pocket protectors shooting out of your back end made me laugh out loud and I am supposed to be WORKING.
I spent the first twenty-five years of my life trying to NOT be a dork, and now I find myself wishing I was dorkier.
Dorks are cool.
Chicky Chicky Baby says:
The book Rachel and Her Children changed my life. I’m not kidding. I still own the well-loved, dog-eared copy I first got in college way back in the stone age. Or, as I like to call it, the early 90s.
Aimee Greeblemonkey says:
Dude, you were too subtle with the Johnny Cougar there.
And you’re not a dork. Well, maybe, but a really cute one.
Loralee says:
You had me at pocket protectors shooting out of your ass!
I can’t imagine you being anything but awesome (Dorkishness only makes you go up in my estimation).
Abi Jones says:
It was good to see you. And sleep on your floor.
My last night of drinking was also perhaps the last time I saw you. After just two days of SXSW I couldn’t handle any more. Fried food, yes. Booze, no.
But let me tell you, it seriously sucks going to a party (ahem, Facebook Recruitment Event) where they’re handing out the top-shelf liquor (and champagne!) like it is water and you just order a Diet Coke. And another Diet Coke. And really, why is the Diet Coke being served in such tiny glasses anyways?
Dang, the Facebook party so kicked the Google party’s ass.
I look forward to seeing you in SF.
Momo Fali says:
I give you one week.
Katie says:
A true dork would have titled the post “pi day”, so I’d say you’re more in the realm of nerd status.
Here’s to the Paterson era!