Boy Howdy
March 7, 2008 | Filed under: Listy, Whoopdie Doo
“I’ve got nothing to do today but smile” - Simon & Garfunkel
1) Way out west: I like Austin. Granted it has been approximately 12 hours but if my suspicions are accurate, I have a feeling that one of my parents or my boss is going to have to physically retrieve me from Texas. It’s probably another stupid ‘feeling’ and I’m even mocking myself by rolling my eyes and doing air quotes but I do believe that I will love Austin, its inhabitants and the Whole Foods that is the size of a Super Target. If you are looking for me today, I’ll be the one running back and forth between Whole Foods and Anthropologie, with a margarita in my hand looking frantic and sputtering because I cannot believe my luck.
2) Blue Cross - Blue Kick Me in the Ass: I am not a hypochondriac by any means but as of late I’ve been coming down with strep, the flu and I figured that since BCBS already has my proverbial balls in a vice, I should tack on a trip to the dermatologist because I have nothing better to do than deal with a severe nickel allergy. If you were allergic to the little metal piece on the inside of your pants, then you would be in a chronically pissy mood as well.
3) BFFE: The hits just keep on coming lately and my fun filled week of not wanting to go up and shove people just for being in my space will be capped off with one of my nearest and dearest coming to Upstate, NY to visit. Before I lived in NY I wouldn’t come home unless one of my parents paid for it, that’s how much I hated being there. So what is the proper gift to give someone that is coming here for an evening just to hang out with me? I’m thinking something in platinum or is that a bit overkill? I’ve been ridiculously anal retentive about this visit because I have no idea what to do with someone here and just because I am not the greatest fan of where I live, that doesn’t mean I should mar anyone else’s views. My plan is to give him expensive tequila intravenously and perhaps he won’t notice that he’s trapped in the fifth circle of Hell. Should be fun.
Lissa says:
Oh I’m so glad you love Austin and yes isn’t that whole foods heaven! Oh I can’t wait for tomorrow.
Momo Fali says:
I think you should give him all the nickel pieces from the inside of your pants. It’s like a gift for BOTH of you.
Jen says:
I pray that one day our area will know the joy that is Anthropologie and Whole Foods. I have heard rumors of an Anthro coming to a local mall…who knows if they are true or if it is just someone desperate for some good shopping that thinks that if they say it out loud, then maybe, just maybe, it will come true?
slynnro says:
I am so angry that the Whole Foods adjacent to Anthropologie combo was not installed until after I moved.
kat says:
The IV of tequila sounds about right. I also ply my guests with booze for most of their visit.
Isabel says:
Promise me you’ll see the Old 97’s play while your there? And while you’re at it…give Rhett Miller a big fat kiss from me!!
Kiraa says:
Love, love, love Austin. Have you seen Dooce?
Melina says:
For the nickel allergy, put clear nailpolish on the offending metal, several coats. And that my dear is your friendly little hint from Heloise for the day. And oh by the way, I’m jealous!!!
Allie says:
Huh… no one, but NO ONE likes Blue Cross. It’s a wonder they stay in business. They must lure people with heart-wrenching tales of childhood cancer being cured (do y’all have that commercial too?) and then *BAM*! balls in a vice. Just like that.
sweetney says:
say hi to austin for me. wish i was there hangin’ witchu, lady.
jen says:
i miss austin.
Kristabella says:
I think everyone loves Austin. My experience is only through what I saw on the Real World. Which was Danny getting punched in the face. Which was kind of awesome and not really about Austin at all.
Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah says:
Hm. Should have read this before I made fun of people saying boy howdy.
Hey, are you going to be near DC at the end of March?