“But when she gets weary, try a little tenderness” – Otis Redding
I am perpetually on the road to hell. I always have good, nay, great, intentions but they are often thwarted by the universe or karma or the fact that instead of being cooperative my body decides that is in no mood for productivity. This weekend was to be decidedly different from the last. Given that I spent all of last weekend schmoozing. Hardcore. Laughing at crappy jokes, eating hotel steamed vegetables and sitting through a three hour dinner with four different national anthems. All the while donning three or four inch heels when I wasn’t running around downtown Albany barefoot. I craved sleeping on flannel sheets and snowshoeing. Perhaps a movie and seeing friends I’ve been MIA from for the past two months.
It all sounds so dreamy now; enjoying the little things and complete sobriety and having the apartment to myself with Simon moving in between my feet while I unload the dishwasher or attempting to chase after me whenever I attempted to leave the apartment.
So imagine my surprise when I awoke at 4 AM on Saturday morning with the distinct feeling of wanting to throw up. I rolled over to the other side of the bed trying not to puke in my bed or on the hardwood. Not that the hardwood was clean but no one wants to clean up puke no matter the surface. I finally shot up out of bed to spend the subsequent hour or so intermittently dry heaving and wanting to toss myself out my bathroom window. And if it weren’t for physics (large body vs. tiny window) I totally would have done it. I hate throwing up (no shit, Sherlock) but I find it even more perplexing that my stomach was revolting against me when I hadn’t been drinking any fermented beverages or caffeine*. And my diet as of late? All I eat is fruit, vegetables and various brown rice products, so what the hell? Someone with a degree in biology or physiology or whatever, please explain to me how weeks of being conscious of what I’m eating and drinking has led to my near death? (Sadly not drinking does NOT lead to the abatement of overdramatic tendencies) (Whoops! Sorry!)
I spent the remainder of the day trying to resist the urge to vomit while listening to Otis Redding on repeat. Every time that awkward feeling came up in my chest – you know, that feeling you get right before you think that maybe you should find some sort of receptacle other than your hands or a glass sitting on the nightstand – I would play Try a Little Tenderness at full volume. For some reason it always makes me feel better. Yesterday I even said to a friend “Sometimes Otis is almost as good as wine.” Emphasis on ALMOST.
12 Comments
Hmmm. I always take my Otis with wine. I never thought of Otis on his own. Hope you start feeling better real soon.
Dude. I swear the whole country is sick.
UG.
Curl up and recover from your weekend and get better, my friend!
I had a Sunday like that, but it was of my own doing and tequila induced. I hope your feeling better soon!
Perhaps you had a not-that-well-washed fruit or vegetable item. It happens and it does what you’ve described.
Everyone around me (aka my friends in DC and my fiance) is sick and I hate that. I feel sick and I think it is just a hallucination at this point. Ugh.
Probably food poisoning. Ironically, drinking with meals cuts down on it. Which is why I try to always consume alcohol. Just in case.
Ugh… sounds like food poisoning or you ate something that wasn’t washed well (quite probable)…
I have also recently changed my eating habits to eliminate my addiction to Coca Cola, replacing with good ol’ H20 and concentrating on veggies/fruits/brown rice/ and whole grains. Being the wife of a cattle rancher it is quite ironic that I have given up red meat too!
What caused you to start doing this? I recently read a book called Skinny Bitch that converted me. Powerful stuff… I highly recommend it.
Good luck with your commitment to better health!
I think you should try a little tenderness for yourself. we all should.
Seriously. When the f*** is everyone going to get better already? My entire school has that uber sexy hacking cough. It makes me hurt just to hear it.
I hope you feel better!
What is this rice and vegetables crap? Maybe you should go back to a strict diet of alcohol and chocolate.
I have been sick for 9 days and counting. I feel your pain. Best medicine I’ve had so far: Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream
The mint is soothing for the tummy, and the cold is soothing for the throat, and the chocolate is soothing for the heart and mind.
blarrgh. i feel your pain. much like bill clinton. girl, you know it’s true. (cough hack cough)
Ugh – I am convinced that there is nothing worse than nausea. Seriously. Stick bamboo under my fingernails, chop off my toes, SHOOT ME. Just don’t make me vomit.