The 50MM Story
January 23, 2008 | Filed under: Fotografias, The object of my obsession
“I think a photography class should be a requirement in all educational programs because it makes you see the world rather than just look at it.” ~Author Unknown
Once upon a time, in a land far far away there was a girl named Heather (And boy did she have some kick ass eyebrows).
Heather had recently procured a lovely Sony Alpha DSLR camera for her 24th birthday. A camera that she would make sweet, sweet love to if it had all of it’s parts. With the purchase of the camera, Heather did what any aspiring (but completely shitty for she knew that she wasn’t Ansel Adams or a Shutter Sister.) photog would do; she took it on a trip to Paris to give it a good work out. With her trusty 18-70mm and handy 70-300mm, she took some semi-quality shots.
Upon reentry, Heather learned from her friend Angella something about aperture and f-stops and so her lust with 50mm lenses began. So one day, Heather decided to take a trip to the famed B&H photo warehouse of love. It was here that she decided to give up her first born child for a lovely new lens to play around with.
Later that day she put her new lens to the test by showing off her lunchtime drinking skills.
Then she drank some more as she was apt to do.
Each time she was impressed by the 50mm’s depth of field and she subsequently fell in love. Heather carried that 50mm with her everywhere to practice. And like any good love story, there were some minor setbacks and difficulties, mostly on her part. For the lens and camera were doing what they were told to do and still Heather felt like something was missing. She longed for another trip to Paris which would bring ample opportunity for vacation and photography practice at the Tuileries Gardens and perhaps a jaunt down the Champs Elysees. But since Hell had yet to freeze over and lotteries had yet to be won, she instead went to Oklahoma City.
When she returned from Oklahoma City she still felt unsettled. For Heather was a neurotic girl and longed for a quality capture. But because life had caught up with her, she was unable to give her camera and 50mm the attention that it deserved. And that my friends is what eventually leads to the demise of any relationship: lack of communication. Heather finally picked it up again during a trip to Washington, DC and at first she was feeling rather bad ass. For she had the perfect subject(s).
But remember Heather’s drinking and her lack of communication? Well Heather drank some wine and then had some more all the while ignoring her camera in exchange for the sweet nectar of Primitivo. She didn’t communicate with her camera. She didn’t change the settings. She might as well have been at a kegger with a disposable point and shoot. Which is why when Heather’s friend Amy said “Please, oh please, take a picture of my darling, beautiful boy” Heather made faces and laughed and took photos with a fuzzy head and a pissed off camera whose settings were not in order and produced this (shield your eyes).
When Heather finally uploaded the photos and noticed that Amy’s sweet, sweet boy was the same exact color as Bert, she got upset. She cried and threw herself on the floor and gave up on dreams.
But thankfully Heather (shockingly enough) had friends; Lori and Angella. And Lori and Angella both helped to bring Heather and her SLR - the one that she gave her second born for - back together. Deep down inside Heather’s friends new that despite their respective faults, that Heather and her SLR were meant to be. And with a little communication and editing that they were meant to be and with a little communication and editing Heather and her SLR - Buddy - could do anything. For love, really does conquer all.
The End.
schmutzie says:
Oh, that deep SLR love. May you love long.
Angella says:
I giggled throughout this.
Because I know ALL TOO WELL the love of the SLR.
And of the 50mm lens.
Also? Thanks for the shout-out, ROOMIE!
Isabel says:
Reading this made me feel guilty for the lack of love I give my SLR. Dude, it’s too fancy. And big. But yeah, they take good pictures.
Diane Mandy says:
I love the photo of Amy’s boy. It’s better than a Warhol!
heather anne says:
Love does conquer all. Except for samurai ninjas.
merrymishaps says:
I recently got a Sony DSLR, too.
And I don’t remember any of my High School photography. Someday, I will read the manual. (And Angella’s tutorials!)
Momo Fali says:
Is Noah starring in the next Willy Wonka film? But really, am I entitled to say anything when ALL of my pictures look like that? I think not.
slynnro says:
I have a pseudo fancy camera, and I can’t get motivated to read the damn book. I am lazy and wasteful.
Nic says:
I have SLR envy. In a big way. And if you manage to look awesome every day like in that first picture. I’m going to have to hate you. Especially since you travel for work. Seriously. HATE.
She Likes Purple says:
WHY HAVE I NOT NAMED MY CAMERA YET? Am SO going to.
chirky says:
My God, woman. You do have some kickass eyebrows.
Dagny says:
I got my first SLR (non-digital) because my father could never take an in-focus photo with it. I started with a 50 mm lens. Now I have a 28-70mm lens. Talk about true love. But my blog photos are from my little Canon Elph. *sigh*
Aimee Greeblemonkey says:
I think it’s more Elmo than Bert.
But glad your relationship could be salvaged. Divorce can be ugly.
Vaguely Urban says:
what a fairy tale!
i need to take a photo class. stat.
fairydogmother says:
Never mind the kick ass eyebrows, that is one kick ass jacket!
I really need to learn how to use our DSLR more proficiently. I occasionally get a lucky shot with it, but it really is pure luck on my part. It definitely does not help that my honey was a professional photographer for YEARS and can take amazing shots without even thinking about it.
Katie says:
I really need to learn how to use my DSLR in something other than auto mode. But to be fair to myself, I have had it less than a month. Still, I really need to get on it!
gorillabuns says:
kick ass eyebrows and shades!
Thursday says:
Oh, I want that SLR love, I want that 50mm lens.
Camels & Chocolate says:
I recently purchased a Canon XTI, with which I am OBSESSED. Oh, and I bought it at this little store called B&H down the street from me, which will be my neighbor no longer once I move to SF next week. Tear.
Zandria says:
Awesome shots, Heather. I especially like that one of Susan.
SmockLady says:
I am a lurker here from time to time and I love this love story. I am so glad you made up with your Sony Alpha. I got one last year for my birthday (but I am not revealing how old I am soon to be).
I got the Alpha because my previous film camera was a Konica Minolta and all the lenses that I had for it (2) will fit my Sony A. I have not spent the time I need to to learn it. And I should, I have six beautiful subjects to practice on.
I have to know: do you have the new 700? I have been lusting after that one.
Busy Mom says:
You have inspired me.
Seriously.
I just got a new DSLR and I have been very frustrated, but, I am going to get back on the horse (so to speak) and learn the thing.
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