The same old song
December 11, 2007 | Filed under: Comes And Goes, Mmhmm That's Right
“Today is the kind of day where the sun only comes up to humiliate you” – Chuck Palaniuk via Anastacia Campbell
There are these days when I lean back and give a loud and exasperated sigh and harrumph to my Pollyanna-ish thinking. For how perfectly cynical I can be, it at times, catches me off guard and right when I’m thinking that nothing and no one can possibly be that bad or mean or completely and absurdly jealous. But then people surprise me in ways unimaginable and I am brought back down to earth, not with a bang but with a whimper and lo’ people are assholes. Huge assholes.
I’ve had numerous conversations over the past week where I, in a Pollyanna state pre falling flat on my face back to reality, express incredulity towards the behavior of others. Like why would someone intentionally be cruel to someone out of jealousy? Especially when the subject of the hatred has been nothing but kind? Why would someone’s unhappiness manifest itself into the spreading of ridiculous and unbelievably slanderous bullshit? The answer is very simple; people suck, that’s how it is and I need to just deal and yet each time something in that nature occurs I’m shocked.
It’s not just shock due to behavior but that these are adults. For once upon a time in a land not so far away, I had a grand idea that being an adult (which, for the record, I have finally accepted as I start to think about purchasing a car and a home and four people have asked me when I’m going to think about children P.S. I’m still 24 but apparently that doesn’t keep people from wanting to wrestle my ovaries into submission) would mean that the people around me would be nicer. Keep in mind that this was a full decade plus ago so when I say that I envisioned people being kinder without gossip, I’m not high or in need of a neurologist, it’s just that I was like 14 and generally stupid. But I honestly thought that as people change their behavior would automatically catch up to their age and they would be doused with a magic potion of knowledge, kindness and maturity. While for some people, very, very few people, that occurred, it has slowly come to pass that I am now realizing that some adults, are the same people they were in Junior High School and High School, but taller. And their voices have a deeper vibrato. Other than that, it’s the same old shit, different year.
I wish I could laugh it off and let piss poor behavior roll off my back. Like hardy, har har, people are shitty, get over it. But I can’t and I don’t. At least not yet. It’s like this great disappointment and even worse than the time my mother flatly told me that Santa wasn’t real. It’s this great disappointment to realize that some things rarely change. With people, change for the better is on par with a major seismic event occurring in Poughkeepsie, which is to say completely rare if any at all. But more than disappointment the entire thing just makes me sad. Though for once, I am not sad for me, I am sad for them. So maybe some people do change after all.
Angella says:
Oh, Heather. I think you just happen to be surrounded by a disproportionate amount of people that suck. And blow.
I (all dewey-eyed and innocent) have experienced what you thought adulthood would be like. I have an outstanding circle of friends where I live, and have even made a few great Internet ones too
That being said, my hubby and I are both self-employed and our office is attached to our house. No office politics or idiots to deal with. When I used to work in an office, that is where I ran into folks who I would just shake my head at.
I hope the jerks in your life get a taste of their own medicine. Or maybe even grow up
xoxoxo
Nic says:
It’s so disappointing because you tell yourself when you’re young that you’re going through a phase and this MUST. GET. EASIER. You assume that it gets easier because the other people get better, when in actuality, the ease comes from you being resigned to the situation.
I had the realization a year or so ago that I had inflated adulthood to be this wonderful thing with other adults being awesome and fun and full of insightful and interesting conversations, but seriously? Other adults are the ones on the news doing very bad things. Other adults are adulterers and abusers. Other adults are conducting wars. My view was just a very juvenile view because on the whole, adults are a hell of a lot worse than junior high girls.
slynnro says:
Amen to that. I really have nothing more to add.
Aimee Greeblemonkey says:
It’s hard to be Pollyanna when asshats are everywhere.
ie says:
…sigh…and those of us who congratulated ourselves for making it out of high school alive…never realizing that, for some, the high school drama/shit goes on forever. We can only do our best not to sink into that quagmire that some people insist on staying in FOREVER.
mcgee says:
AMEN.
Also, when are you next coming to San Francisco so you can join us at our wine-soaked now-monthly gatherings that Stace has organized? When?!
Trula says:
Oh no! Please don’t let the negative people determine your attitude in life or feelings about others. Some people do suck, but most don’t. the ones that do? deeply wounded inside, so look on them with pity. and don’t let them make you just like them. Hold onto your positivity and goof attitude tight. This will pass.
Dagny says:
Yes, some people will always suck. I try to ignore them. Except when they try to sideswipe me on the freeway. Then they get to hear interesting combinations of words and to see entertaining hand gestures.
And I’m with McGee. Because now that I’ve met the girls, I’ve got to meet you as well so hurry up and get back out here.
Momo Fali says:
Wait…that quote…you’re saying the sun DOES come up? I’ll believe it when I see it. For now, I’m back to my hole.
BOSSY says:
Unfortunately many people don’t outgrow Sucky.
gorillabuns says:
but i still love you!
jess says:
hey there…thanks for stopping by.
people DO suck and your post is my sentiment exactly. when i’ve got some extra time, i’ll spend it reading some more of your blog.
Whimspiration says:
Yep, people suck. *agree* Here’s a hug from a fellow pollyanna-ish type.
It’s just so hard to give up on thinking that all people have some goodness in them. *sighs and hugs*
Shannon says:
I am always amazed that high school keeps going forever. “Seniors” always pick on “freshmen”. A lot of girls are still petty, jealous, and cruel. Men still go after cheerleaders. And there are always the “cool” groups, the nerd groups, the jocks, etc. (Obviously over-generalizing, but still…)
There’s this woman at work who’s probably in her late 50s, early 60s. (I’m 23.) She refuses to make eye contact in the hall, never answers anything I say to her when I’m just trying to be nice, and makes snide comments to other women in the office (who then come and tell me what she said). It’s really unbelievable.