Avoidance tactic
November 4, 2007 | Filed under: Humdrum, NaBloPoMo
“I like the word “indolence.” It makes my laziness seem classy.” ~Bern Williams
I was asked the other day why it seems that I avoided speaking about Halloween all together. It’s because in my mind Halloween doesn’t exist. I enjoy Columbus Day and a rousing dose of European History more than I enjoy Halloween. The only good part about Halloween is that all candy comes in miniature sizes so when I enjoy six pull and peel twizzlers I feel like less of a fat ass. Yet despite my deep hatred of this so- called holiday, I will graciously accept invites to parties because not only do I like candy that comes in wee sizes but I also like free alcohol. Last night was no exception as I was treated to this exchange:
Him: “Where are you from?”
Me: “Sommervale”
Him: “Oh. Are you sure you’re from Sommervale?”
Me: [setting up cups for beer pong] “Yes. Why?”
Him: “Because I dated a few girls from Sommervale and you don’t seem like someone from there. They were all white trash and kind of slutty. They weren’t very classy looking”
Me: “Is that your round about way of saying that I don’t look like a slut?”
Him: “Um, yes”
Me: “Ok then. Thank you”
I really have nothing else except I’m mustering up the courage to clean up the world’s largest pile of cat puke ever. I don’t even know how one gets cat puke out of the carpet. Also, it’s not MY fucking cat and I’m thisclose to leaving it until tomorrow afternoon when The Roommate gets back. I’ll even put up a sign and streamers around it “Congratulations on completing the marathon! Here’s some cat vomit with remnants of cocoa puffs in it. Don’t forget to put your arms into it and really scrub! Love, Heather”
tutugirl1345 says:
I would recommend Woolite Deep OxyClean. My roommate’s dog spits up on the carpet all the time, and this seems to do the best job of getting out the stain/smell. Next time it happens, I might try your streamers and sign idea, though.
Suzanne says:
Second the Oxyclean. Send the roommate to PetSmart for a very good product that works on pet stains.
Oh, and I think the cat was sympathy puking at the thought of having Red Sluts.
Jennie says:
The streamers are a must. I say go with that option.
Maya says:
I would definitely add the streamers. Meantime, just put a bucket over it so you don’t add your own pile o’ puke to the carpet after having to see/smell it. YEAH FOR EUROPE! You are going to have SO MUCH fun, it will definitely cure ‘what ailes you”.
Good for you, chicka! (Not the red slut bit, of course.) PS…Beer pong? Is it fun?
Maria says:
Ditto. Oxyclean will get the job done.
I think he was trying to tell you that he thinks you are classy.
EB says:
Oxyclean is a miracle cleanser. Took dog puke out of my carpet along with the previous tenants’ red wine spills, children’s bubble gum, and some mystery orange stain that I hope was a beverage and not a rotten pumpkin.
BTW: I heart Beer Pong.
Melissa says:
Let it dry, peel it up like a face mask.
hannita says:
For future reference, cat puke is much easier to clean up once it has dried. At least that’s what I tell myself.