High school mentality
July 24, 2007 | Filed under: BlogHer, Great moments in narcissism
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” ~Dr. Seuss
I feel like ‘they’ will all be staring at me. Pointing at me for not wearing the cutest shoes or because my hair is a frizzy mess or because I’m fat. They’ll whisper behind my back, just because they can and yet be kind to my face and laugh politely at my lame jokes. But then there will be made up names, equally as lame as I feel and yet still painful.
I’m not in high school anymore. There is no popular girl clique and four days isn’t four years. Yet every so often the above thoughts come from the recesses of my memory thus reverting me back to a painfully shy misanthrope who…you guessed it…thinks that everyone is speaking ill of her.
There’s the rational part of me that is giddy beyond belief. When the thought of being dropped in the middle of 450 (guesstimating) women seems like a swell idea. Then there’s the sudden twinge of feeling wholly inadequate and not good enough. It’s not that I take myself seriously but I feel unsure.
So my mind will revert back and forth between my insecurities – no matter how far removed – and the reality that things will be supremely awesome and I will drink obscene amounts of wine and laugh my ass off.
And my hope of hopes is that I won’t vomit while speaking or pee all over myself when I finally get to touch Whoorl’s hair.
whoorl says:
People are feeling insecure and unsure? Really?
*feverishly scrambling to find my entire arsenal of hair products while praying to the hair/humidity gods*
I can’t wait to meet you, HB. I just know you are going to be as fabulous in person!
Oh dear…ok I’ll be fabulous and you just bring The Hair.
whoorl says:
p.s. - Great quote.
Gracias
green3 says:
I just used that quote on my blog today! I LOVE it.
And you are going to rock at Blogher.
Lissa says:
I really wish I was going! I have to confess that if I were ever to meet you I would feel so nervous and inadequate because I think you are so funny and so real and I would be afraid I would get tongue tied. You’re going to do great and I wish you the best of luck! I can’t wait to hear all about it.
Dagny says:
It’s your fault that I left a comment on Whoorl’s site about HP. Just thought that I’d let you know.
Here’s an insight. I am actually pretty introverted. When I am thrown into the unknown, I want to hurl.
And that whole imagining folks in their undies thing? Doesn’t work. In some cases, it just makes one want to hurl even more.
What works for me is just imagining it all done. And people walking up to me saying how fantabulous I was. And I’m sure you’ll be just that.
EDW says:
I hate to break it to you, but if there was a popular girl clique, you would be it. Not just in it, but, like IT. You have adult popularity, which is 5,000 times better than high school. I”m going to refrain from silly jokes about being a Queen B or a Heather, but know that it’s taking all my willpower to do so.
Have a great time in Chicago!
Busy Mom says:
I bet you’ll knock ‘em dead!!
Suebob says:
You are one person that I am just so glad to be meeting up with. I just want to chill, if that is possible at The Madness We Call BlogHer.
Isabel says:
I read somewhere today that there will be 1000 ladies there.
Not to freak you out too much.
(Although this post freaked me out. Dude, people will be mean?! CRAP.)
And can I pet Whoorl’s hair when you’re done?
Sarah says:
This is exactly what I’m afraid I would feel if I were going.
Except I do take myself way too seriously.
Have a fantastic time!
bloggadocio says:
for some reason I’m always MORE comfortable speaking in front of groups of strangers. I don’t care what they think of me and I’ll never see them again. It’s speaking in front of people I know that scares the eczema out of me.
Good luck and may you meet a wonderful midwestern hombre!
Leah says:
Honest truth: I’m afraid you’ll be totally disappointed in me because I’m not very fun or funny or entertaining. I’m pleasant and nice, yes, but I can’t promise fireworks. Most likely, I’ll have one glass of wine, declare myself “trashed,” and then spend the rest of the evening gulping water and trying to surreptitiously mop the sweat out of my armpits. I do not do well in humidity.
hannita says:
Puh-leeeze. You’re way cool. All the ladies will love you, I’m sure.
INPY says:
You’re going to ROCK! Really, you are. I have absolutely NO doubt. And, you can try and figure out which speaker I dated like 8 years ago. It should be a fun game.
And, just so that you’re totally relaxed, I will give you a Sanford and Son song;
No pasa nada
You are gonna rock the house
With your speakin’
Do you own a Yankees Blouse?
If you do you should wear tha-haaat
Marci says:
Soooo…how do ya like Chicago?
Ryan says:
If only I could be one of the cool girls like you . . .seriously!! Just hopped on over from Amalah, read two of your posts, and I am oficially hooked. I’ll definitely be back! Best of luck to you at BlogHer. Have a fabulous day!
kerflop says:
The only thing we’re pointing and whispering about is how freaking adorable you are.
Also, I am plotting on how to steal your camera and delete all of those incriminating photos of me you took on the 33rd floor. Eek. I blame the cranberry juice.
mike says:
You’ll be fabulous. I wish I could be there to hear and support you guys.
- Mike
token says:
Man, I wish I could be there.
One Scrappy Gal says:
Hi,
I’m a lurker but thought I’d pop out and ask… how did it go?
jen from boston says:
It’s was great seeing you again, and I for one thought you looked beautiful (seriously - can I borrow your white dress with the brilliant pockets?)
speaking of high school tho? The (rent-a)”cops” busting up the party (fine - “security”, whatever). yeah,brings ya back, don’t it.
Mocha says:
And just like in high school, I flitted from table to table just inviting myself to sit down and there you were… sitting at a table with other high schoolers (y’all were totally freshman, too, and I was a 5th year senior but at least you’re out of the zygote category) and then we were just rolling in laughter. The way it should be.
Your awesomeness is boundless. So glad we hung. Love you, Frosh.
The Senior
sarcastic journalist says:
Girl. You were one of the stars of the show.