I’m kind of a big deal
July 16, 2007 | Filed under: Just Add Alcohol, Oh The Stupidity You'll See, The District Of Columbia
“A sense of humor… is needed armor. Joy in one’s heart and some laughter on one’s lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life.” ~Hugh Sidey
Now is as good a time as any to admit that I am perpetually late. I always have been and always will be. It’s chronic and I probably should get help with my procrastination tactics and yet it just continues and manifests itself as rather flaky behavior. Thus I look like a lame ass who is easily distracted by shiny objects and is unable to tell time.
I had excellent intentions to impress Abi. Because, I presumed her to be classy and witty and she once promised to send me Trader Joe’s products, so I was hoping that if I impressed her then maybe she’d send me my beloved Macaroni and Cheese. Of course upon my ridiculously late arrival to meet her, I had to first stop and grope my best friend’s sister and then turned around and lo’ there was Abi and lo, I had failed miserably at retaining any cool points that I may have previously had with her. Truth be told I was late, I obviously am big on groping and I can’t play shuffleboard for shit.
To make matters worse, as we were departing the bar, I just HAD to stop and say hello to someone else, because I’m super important* and I generally flit my way about the city meeting and greeting and schmoozing. With a general ‘look at me! I’m fucking fantastic’ demeanor**. Actually, the person that I HAD to say hello to was Zandria. And it was on of those odd, I’ve had two beers and perhaps I’m still drunk from the night before but I swear to God, I KNOW that woman, kind of moments. I swaggered up to say hello with an abrupt “Hi, I’m Heather”. Because OBVIOUSLY, she should know who I am just by that statement. She did. We shook hands and then I saw my reflection and noted that the first impression both Zandria and Abi would have of me is a girl who wears brown tops with black flip flops and keeps her hair in some odd bird’s nest type fashion on top of her head.
So to recap: I’m late, I’m flaky, I can’t dress myself and my lord, THE HAIR.
Thankfully, some deity was looking down at me on Friday night and both Abi – who is lovely, classy and witty as hell and Zandria – who is taller than in pictures and seemed nice in the 20 seconds that I spoke to her– appreciated my oft randomness and well noted lush like qualities. And perhaps I am a fun person to meet…and you know, modest as hell.
The way I see it, despite the above faux pas, I was rather tame around these class act ladies, as opposed to the end of the evening, when left to my own devices and friends who enjoy a Miller light or Seven. Which kind of looked like this:
And that? That is what many of you have to look forward to in Chicago. I’m just going to apologize in advance.
*Borrowed from Schnozz
**For the record, I fucking can’t stand schmoozing and I’m pretty bad about it. And in addition to being perpetually late, I’m perpetually socially awkward.
Suebob says:
I can’t wait.
GreenCanary says:
I’m perpetually late as well. I think it makes me endearing. (I hope.)
Zandria says:
It was a pleasure to finally meet you. I still can’t believe the randomness of it all! And about the clothes, and the hair, and whatever else you were complaining about…whatever! You looked fine, and of course I knew who you were right away.
metalia says:
Ha! I love that picture; did I mention that I can’t wait to hang out with you NEXT WEEK?
Maria says:
Funny shot!
I have the opposite problem. I’m chronically early wherever I go. It is a result of being raised by a mother who is chronically late everywhere. However, I am socially awkward when not in business situtations.
token says:
I’m thinking the necklace totally made up for the hair.
nopasanada says:
Did I mention that several poor people are going to have to endure this NEXT WEEK.
Actually I just like saying that I’m going to Chicago NEXT WEEK.
The caps convey my excitement about NEXT WEEK.
Gooseberried says:
I can’t go to the Chic.
I’ve been in between jobs these last two months and can’t afford it anymore. I’s sad.
alyndabear says:
Well, Ms Heather, I think you should go to my blog and take the Schmoozing award, because obviously you’re much better at it than me. Personally, I’d hide in the corner and watch everyone and hope I didn’t start talking about crap.
hannita says:
I live in the Chi and can’t afford to go. How lame is that?
Abi says:
Okay, my recollection is up, along with my recollections of other times meeting other bloggers over the last year. And yes, you are a spaz.