In which I roll my eyes so much that they fall out of my head
July 13, 2007 | Filed under: Oh The Stupidity You'll See, The District Of Columbia
“Visits always give pleasure - if not the arrival, the departure.” ~Portuguese Proverb
My last trip to DC prior to my move in 2001 was during an 8th grade field trip of which I remember very little. Not because of the amount of alcohol I consumed, because shocker I didn’t become Queen Lush until college, but because it was rather uneventful. We ate at some Mexican restaurant and stayed at a Holiday Inn with a balcony. Our chaperones taped the doors at night so that they’d know whether or not we little kidlets, had tried to escape to go to second base with the opposite sex, who were sleeping right next door.
I remember arriving and being on the metro though and busting out a mini-box of ritz crackers and having some large black woman tell me that eating on the metro was a major faux pas. Duly noted and I discontinued with my obviously tourist like behavior. Because it was RUDE and I had MANNERS.
Tuesday on the metro there was a family of 17. Not hyperbole but honest to God truth that there was a family of 17 with 9 children. The children were sitting on the floor – during rush hour – on the red line with green Starbucks straws. And with these straws they were (and I am going to use caps so that you can comprehend the absurdity of this situation) PUTTING PIECES OF CHEWED UP PAPER IN ONE END AND SPITTING THEM OUT. SPIT BALLS. ON THE MOTHER FUCKING METRO.
Seriously? Is this how children are allowed and taught to behave when visiting a new city? To throw spitballs on public transit? I don’t go to Iowa and throw spitballs on your corn farm, so I’d appreciate if you didn’t come to my hometown and throw spitballs or scream loudly or act like heathens.
I swear that tourists should be forced to register with MPD before coming into the city. That way they can be shunned and avoided at all costs before I have the overwhelming urge to beat someone because I have little kid spit juice on my new shoes.
bloggadocio says:
Did you at least shoot dirty looks in their, or the guardian’s, general direction? I bet you have a stellar withering glare.
Dagny says:
I would have had to get a little bit loud over that. Some people. Humph!
Stephanie says:
Once on the metro, the driver guy told “the man in the front car of the train to stop drinking that soda” — that was pretty cool. I hope someone told the driver about those damn kids and he revoked their stupid metro day pass.
Abi says:
This is why the folks at the National Park Service call them Tourons. You know Tourist+Moron=Touron.
Of course, this means that any of us are Tourons when we travel.
Jennie says:
“I don’t go to Iowa and throw spitballs on your corn farm”
This made me laugh so hard I almost fell out of my chair. So thanks for that.
alyndabear says:
How rude is that? Bah. Bratty children, although what are the parents thinking? People forget that others actually ride the train (I tried, but I simply cannot type Metro, haha, it’s so American!) for WORK and not for FUN.
Plus, it’s just gross.
I am so looking forward to visiting Washington next year!