Pain in the ass
June 24, 2007 | Filed under: An ass the size of Rhode Island
“A bear, however hard he tries, grows tubby without exercise.” ~A.A. Milne
I’ve never understood the eagerness with which some can carry on a conversation about their weight loss efforts. With such enthusiasm and aplomb as to how fantastic things are going and how they feel so much better and lighter and did you hear about the free unicorns that come when you lose 15 pounds?
Then again, I have a great ability to become frustrated when things are not going according to plan. Very frustrated in that I’m going to slam this door now and possibly throw my sneakers out the sunroof kind of way. It’s so very charming, as I’m sure one can imagine.
It’s not really that things aren’t going well or that there really is much to discuss, it just is. The process of ‘toning’ and ‘getting healthy’ is inane, long, boring and so fucking tedious. It’s full of ups and downs…and generally, how much is there to say?
Thus far, the only profound thing that I am able to come up with is that yesterday, my trainer kicked my ass so hard that I’m now forced to write while standing up. Because apparently there are massive amounts of nerves and muscles and such in my ass and thighs, which have been worked in ways once thought unfathomable.
Let’s just say that if I had the ability, coordination and…um…proper appendage to pee while standing up, I totally would.
Amy says:
Ugh, I hate that whole deal. Some days I am *almost* willing to commit to a workout/weight loss plan. Then there are days like today when I make cupcakes. Much more important than fitting into smaller jeans. Or my current jeans, come to think of it.
One day I will come up with the right motivation to lose weight…probably not until someone asks me when I’m due though I’m not pregnant. At least they’ll feel worse than I will. (Maybe.)
Oh, and a very belated congrats on the boobie makeover. I almost commented on that entry, but didn’t want my first comment on your blog to be, “Yay, pretty boobies!!”
“Yay, pretty boobies!!” is a perfectly acceptable comment. In fact, feel free to compliment me on my rack anytime. Hell, after shelling out as much as I did for new bras, I HOPE people think they look a little better.
Oh and now I’m thinking ‘mmmmm, cupcakes’. Or actually ‘mmmm, key lime cheesecake’.
girlgoyle says:
i know only too well what a sore butt feels like. the worst is when you have to use the toilet and find yourself throwing yourself at it and hoping to land in the right place because daintily squatting to sit makes your whole body scream bloody murder. OUch!
Marci says:
God, you have a trainer? Have I told you lately how much I hate you?
mcgee says:
you need a donut…pillow that is. but maybe also a regular donut as well. for your hard work! =)
Maria says:
Ouch!
Amy: I once had someone ask me when I was due. I said nothing since I didn’t know how to respond.
HollowSquirrel says:
Oh you poor thing. Are you the reason I see shoes randomly scattered on highways and along ditches?
Dagny says:
I have found that walking up stairs too many times in a single day causes that kind of pain for me. Not pleasant at all. Especially when one finds one’s self thinking, “Do I really need to go the bathroom now?”
kerrianne says:
Seriously. I’ve never been good at talking about weight loss, or kicking my own ass back into shape. I totally need outside motivation. Even if it’s someone literally kicking me toward my running shoes.