A story
June 21, 2007 | Filed under: Sucks like a vacuum, This side of the Hudson
“I had a lover’s quarrel with the world.” ~Robert Frost
A girl loses her license on public transit and wrecks her car. When she attempts to get a rental car because her car is stuck in body shop purgatory – wherein it’s stuck there for three weeks leaving her convinced that it’s being sold for parts to Canadian factories -she is unable to get a car without a valid license. Upon that sad realization and few uses of the ‘f’ word, the girl decides to go to the DMV to get a temporary license. Thus subjecting herself to having her soul sucked from her in the most strenuous and unproductive way ever. For surely, the only thing worse than waiting in line at the DMV would be enduring TSA at 6 AM. She gives herself a pat on the back for quickly deciding to go to the DMV as opposed to the office. Having procured a car after bribing her brother with a Subway turkey sandwich (he’s easy, whatever), she was ready for departure. When lo’ upon being ready to depart, the car battery is dead.
So to recap, no license, no transportation and in the middle of a Suburban Hell, where the only way to get from point A to point B is via motor vehicle. Awesome, no?
At which point the girl lays in the driveway and prays for the UPS man to come and run her over. Ok that was only in her head, but instead decides that cabbing! That will be the way to go! And thankfully enough, the DMV is far less painful than she had originally had prepared herself for, therefore realizing that maybe the DMV wasn’t such the eternal waste of time, space and energy as originally suspected.
And so with that, she stands on the street corner in downtown Albany to wait for her return cab home. As she is standing she gets stares and a man asks the time and then grazes her boob as he walks past her. She realizes that the only thing that would complete this pristine picture of her standing on the corner in the ‘hood (yo), is if she had a baby stroller, with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth while on the payphone. After being accosted and blatantly stared at, her cab ride home includes a bonus trip practically past fucking Yonkers.
On that note, perhaps being run over by a UPS truck would have been a most excellent solution.
The end.
token says:
…wondering how much the cab cost you
$30 round trip. I could have gotten from Maryland to Virginia on less than $30. I went like 3 fucking miles. Ugh.
heather anne says:
I just feel your pain so hard. I hate being at the mercy of other people and their automobiles. Ugh. Chin up, little lamb. It has to get better soon. It’s, like, the law.
Thanks, friend.
Maria says:
I think you need a hug after that. (((((Heather)))))
Awww, thanks. It was a rough morning to say the least.
Dagny says:
I knew that cab ride was going to cost you. Why do they gouge folks in the ‘burbs like that? I hope you went home and pulled out all of your Kate Spade bags and looked at them. I somehow think that this would serve as a pacifier. Otherwise, I hope you had a really nice glass of wine. Because I remember the pain of living in suburbia without a car. And now I must do something to wipe out that ugly memory.
Paisley says:
$30 for three miles? Wowzers.
Wow. Glad it’s over. Can only get better, eh?
I’m amazed that the DMV didn’t steal your soul. The last time I was there it was surprisingly easy. The Post Office, however, I have banned from my life. Getting rid of the number system? Pure foolishness.
Leah says:
SHIT!