“Suburb: a place that isn’t city, isn’t country, and isn’t tolerable.” ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966
1) Yesterday on the radio:
Female Announcer: “The question is: If there was one celebrity you had to get rid of, who would it be and why?”
Random Male: “I’d get rid of Justin Timberlake”
Female Announcer: “You’d get rid of my future husband?? WHY??”
Random Male; “I don’t know. He seems a little gay”
That’s some great reasoning and logic there. This young man will do really well on the LSAT.
2) I needed sour cream for a dip and had already changed into my pajamas: shorts and a Kerry Edwards t-shirt. Instead of putting on actual clothing like anything but shorts that went up my ass crack and a t-shirt that screams “WE LOST AND I OBVIOUSLY CANNOT GET OVER IT”, I decided instead to put on a really long sweater that went past the shorts a tad. So it pretty much looked like I was wearing no pants and just a sweater, I can’t recall if I even had a bra on. Either way, while I’m walking around Price Chopper looking practically pants-less, no one batted and eyelash at me. It’s like it’s normal here. I swear tomorrow I’m going to go grocery shopping in a belly baring halter top and silver eye shadow and again, NO ONE WILL CARE.
3) Again, on the radio:
Announcer: “When you think of Beyonce, you think of body. This new song is called Get Me Bodied and it’s an exclusive”
What the fuck? Get Me Bodied is NEW and an EXCLUSIVE? Tomorrow they’re going to debut a little song called SexyBack by some new artist called Justin Timberlake. Oh wait, he might not be around anymore because “he seems a little gay.”
Other than that though, things are swell. Thank god for the outlet shopping and that Southwest flies to for just $39. Oh and we’re getting a Sephora sometime in the fall. I’m thinking really happy thoughts until then.
15 Comments
lol…I died reading this entry. Upstate, can’t say I miss it. I hadn’t heard of Price Chopper since the day I moved away.
I go to the corner 7/11 in what my boyfriend calls “crazy cat lady” clothes and no one seems to mind. Or maybe I just don’t care enough… either way.
When you wear the belly-baring top and silver eye shadow, will you take a pic for the Internets?
We used to go to the Schenec ghetto Chopper in our pajama pants and oversized hoodies all the time in college.
Wait a second – someone named after a cut of meat is qualified to bash the suburbs? They raised a lot of us just fine.
Me thinks I need to get my hands on a copy of one of her books.
Wow, you would hate it where I live. Plus you probably wouldn’t be able to understand the thick accent. Radio people make me insane.
Don’t forget to put on hooker shorts and platform shoes when you go shopping
And PLEASE take pictures.
Wait until you get to the news portion on the radio when breaking news is all about the incidental poisoning of the fish in the pet section at walmart. Breaking news!
uh. i have to be honest, i am DREADING the move back the suburbs when my lease in the city is up, i don’t know what i will do with myself. No more corner bar! no more drunken stumbles to Dunkin donuts at 2am!
*wah*
I am not bashing the suburbs per se here, i am just NOT a suburban person, at all.
OK, I would just have one thing to say to anyone who said they wanted to rid the world of J.T. And it would go a little something like, “Without Justin Timberlake we would not have the priceless SNL gem that is the digital short entitled, “A Special Box.”
Please, PLEASE tell me you’ve seen that. Crass? Well, yes. One of the most hilarious shorts I’ve ever seen, ever? You know it.
Maybe by “new” they meant “not new” and by “exclusive” they meant “everyone has already heard it”. Maybe it was opposite day?
Actually I think Justin seems a bit gay as well
Ah, Albany. How I love the Price Chopper! I recall that the one that I went to has a HUGE, kickass bakery full of sugary carb-filled goodness. Or are they all like that?
I don’t even know what to say about this post. It’s just too awesome on so many levels…
“seems a little gay”?
AWESOME!
(I love JT so much. Gay or not.)
Found your blog via Amalah. Hilarious account of Upstate NY Price Chopper. I live here too and it’s SO TRUE!