I still maintain that it wasn’t my fault
May 22, 2007 | Filed under: La Madre, Oh The Stupidity You'll See
“The Act of God designation on all insurance policies… means roughly that you cannot be insured for the accidents that are most likely to happen to you. If your ox kicks a hole in your neighbor’s Maserati, however, indemnity is instantaneous.” ~Alan Coren, The Lady from Stalingrad Mansions
Last Wednesday, I was in a ‘minor’ fender bender. I place minor in quotes only because that’s if ‘minor’ means that big gaping hole where my right headlight once was. It’s still there, technically, but just a little off kilter. If by ‘off kilter’ I mean that it’s roughly six inches below where it used to be.
The normal reaction would be to question whether or not if I was missing an arm or any toes or whether or not my head was in the backseat after feeling the impact of a Murano vs. Sable. My mother, the wonderful woman that she is. She who is allowing me to live in her home even though I can probably afford to live alone and without her purchasing my groceries each week; responded differently. It was more of a shrieking noise and something about insurance and generally inaudible din. And then she asked whether or not I was still alive or if my shoulder was still properly in its socket.
How is it that mother’s, those who bore us and who nursed us along through life, manage to question the state of the vehicle or insurance premiums before wondering whether or not their child’s eyeball is still intact?
This is something that has always been and will always remain a mystery to me.
heather anne says:
Oh man. When I got my first speeding ticket you would have thought I killed a clergyman or something. Perspective, parents!
Alyndabear says:
I’m just glad your eyeballs are intact.
(And the car, too, o’course.)
And dude? Your website is advertising shoes. EVIL. Get it away! Shoes! *hides*
Liz says:
DC drivers sure do miss you, HB.
Marci says:
It is because, I think, the main and central goal for any parent is to reach the day when their offspring are no longer a leeching, financial drain.
And car accidents do much to keep them from their goal.
mdvelazquez says:
It is a mystery to me too. Did she eventually ask if you were okay? Mine never gets to that point.
Meagan says:
At least I have some news that might make you feel better- a Sephora will be opening in Colonie Center before the end of the year. I live in Rexford (on the edge of Clifton Park).
girlgoyle says:
Well they say mother’s have a sixth sense. I guess her Spidey sense was telling her that you were obviously OK or you wouldn’t be in the shape or form to be telling her the story in a veeeery roundabout way. Sorry you’r car’s eyeball isn’t feeling as good as yours but that can at least be fixed.
Erinn says:
Its called having a black mama. Black parents are a whole different breed…lol
metalia says:
Yikes. Glad you’re okay. Did she at least ask you if you were alright AFTER the insurance rant?