“No man needs a vacation so much as the person who has just had one.” ~Elbert Hubbard
As I recall, last year, Marci returned from Boca Raton exhausted. And I thought well, that’s a load of bullshit, boo fucking hoo. Go cry in a corner you tan whore.
Then I went back to my lame ass life to cry on my bed about how the world and Jesus are out to get me and if this isn’t Hell, then I don’t know what is.
While it seems highly incredulous and baffling, it is entirely possible for one to completely tire of South Florida. With the sun and perfect weather and pristine beaches and shit and the looking up in the sky and finding it mystifying that it could be snowing enough somewhere to cause flight cancellations because the Sun is fucking shining.
Marci’s ditched me in Florida, where I am ‘stuck’ until Monday to wallow in my sadness of being ‘trapped’ at a five star resort to tan.
But I swear on my life, if I see one more motherfucking Bentley (not mine) or Ketel One and tonic (most certainly mine) I’m going cry. I’m going to cry the real tears of horror and sadness that one cries upon realizing that she might have to go to the spa. Again.
16 Comments
This is me having ABSOLUTELY no sympathy.
~dionna
Ok, and the whole blogger/google thing? I JUST DON’T GET IT. GAWD.
Boo fucking hoo indeed! Heather, you cow, I want to be on vacation!
That’s why I come here.
It’s because of all the love and positivity.
Ooh. Have a vodka tonic for me. Or a bloody mary. Then go get a massage or something.
I hope there’s a hurricane or similar tropical storm. Really, I do.
So I’m assuming that absolutely no one feels bad for me?? Tears. I’m now on my way back north and now I’m shedding the real tears of someone who has to go to work in the morning instead of making the really difficult decision of beach or pool cabana.
For christ’s sake! Snap out of it! Seduce a pool boy.
Haaaaaaaaate!
HOpe you enjoyed it while it lasted … despite the tears and whatnot.
Told ya. There is no sympathy for someone forced to stay in Boca Raton for a week. You’ve officially joined the ranks now.
BTW, just for the record, tan I will never be.
I was going to comment on the tan whore thing. I was all, Marci? Tan? Was she hanging out with a different banana down in FLA?
I don’t feel sorry for you either, except for the cost, because ouchie! Oh, and the overabundance of blinding pink and old women silicone.
Contrary to popular belief, Marci does not tan while in Boca. In fact, I don’t think that Marci saw the sun once.
But I do in fact have tan lines.
Truly a sad tale you have told. I came close to shedding a tear myself.
Haha, you’re funny. That’s my positive comment.
Other than that, shut up bitch. I hate those that can take va-cay-cay-cays.
This is me.
Rolling my eyes at you.