Archive for September, 2006

Starting over

September 12, 2006 | Filed under: La Madre

“The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.” ~Jim Rohn

It’s lame. I know – Starting Over the show that is. It’s a train wreck though and you can’t help but watch. There have been many a day off where upon capitalizing on my complete indolence, I have found it much too difficult to change the channel between ‘Ellen’ and ‘Days of Our Lives’. So on it comes and I am enthralled.

But no matter, today is the day to do as such; because I’m not the sentimental type nor am I emotional. In fact I have no feelings and my heart is an ice cold black mass, but maybe I should try. Maybe I should start over with someone and this time act as if I know nothing. A tabula rasa that I wish I had had before. Though this time will be better – I will be better - and I will care and be OK and less neurotic and more supportive. I won’t project or worry about something that was never really there and I will exclaim “you’re my favorite” more often and really mean it. I’ll do what I can and open up and be more honest. I’ll tell the truth from the beginning, give what I can and take their words and thoughts without trepidation.

‘Pervicacious’ is my new favorite word. We know how I feel about words and this is right up there with ‘vitriolic’ on my list. The former describes me to a ‘T’: Too set in my ways and stubborn. I wish I could just let things go and not have a response to everything. Some things just need to be rhetorical and I need to shut the fuck up to put it mildly. I also need to stop being so god damn selfish; and well…at least I’m willing to try. In doing so, I will give my all and hope for the best but not automatically expect the worst. Because inevitably I’ll be OK. We’ll be OK.

Speaking of starting over, Michael Dell and I just had a terrible break up after his machine purged everything from my hard drive including over a year’s worth of writing and fodder. So now I’m cheating on him with Steve Jobs. I’ve said it before; Steve just does it for me whereas Michael makes me want to pour boiling water over my head to forget the pain of losing dozens of documents. Oh Steve, I just gotta let you know that I gotta crush on you.

The prettiest woman

September 10, 2006 | Filed under: La Madre

Because do you really want to hear a fun story about how I was just driving north on 395, I looked to my left at a certain five sided building and started to cry? Cry! Moving on…

“You are my shinin’ star, my guiding light, my love fantasy”* – Luther Vandross

Last night (Read: 3:45 AM) I took a shuttle from Love to the Convention Center. If you know DC, you know that thee area between the two spots is shotty at best and you’d be best carrying a can of mace or a .38. Seated a row back and to the left of me was an older man, in his 50’s, with a fedora complete with feather. Other people were also in the seats surrounding us. When traveling I sit by the window and usually stare out and pay no attention and get lost in my own little world.

While doing such, there is a commotion coming from where the fedora clad man – I forgot to mention the zoot suit and red handkerchief in his breast pocket. We’re stopped at a light and he’s scrambling to open the window. He’s clawing at it trying to pry it open as quickly as possible. The shuttle is full and all turn around to see the cause of this man’s angst.

He finally is able to open the window and yells out “Wait right there! I’ll be right back,” while he holds onto the window then a “Shit” .A perfunctory drawn out ‘shit’. Shock maybe of his sheer luck at his find.

We all turn to see to whom he is hollering at and there at the corner is a ‘woman.’ ‘Woman’ is a term that I use loosely because what stood before us was some 6 foot tall person with an obvious weave sporting a mesh yellow mini dress, black undergarments clearly visible.

There’s laughter and then a man at the front turns around and yells “That’s a man!”
To which fedora clad man, pushes his head out the window and hollers, “You a man?!? You got a dick?!? You got a dick under there??” Then straightens his hat and tie and sits back down and announces that that is “I don’t care what she is. That’s the best looking thing I’ve ever seen.”

*There’s nothing like dancing with your coworkers to Luther at 2:15 AM, mouthing “Oh my looooove”. It truly was a lovely weekend.

Freakin’ Weekend

September 9, 2006 | Filed under: La Madre

“No party is any fun unless seasoned with folly.” ~Desiderius Erasmus

I’ve never been one of those girls who feel it necessary to describe my every drunk moment in detail complete with quotes and shit that is really funny when inebriated but sharp object in an eye socket worthy, when sober. There’s also a pesky memorization problem (Read: lack there of).

Given the above circumstances, please forgive me as I publicly try to rehash my evening. An evening which could best be described as a vodka tour of our nation’s capital. I preferred the Ketel One and Red Bull mix for the record. Very little hangover and far better than the Grey goose and cranberry at Love. Special shout out to Verizon: I already hate you in ways indescribable and even more hate for a lack of open bar. I figured with the $300 you milk from me each month would suffice enough to provide for free booze, but I suppose not.

Despite the lack of hangover, I, being the Peep Toe Queen of the World ™ , now have a busted knee and for some reason no feeling in one of my little piggies. Both of which I deserve as a punishment (hello karma! We meet again) because I returned home last evening to be sarcastically mean – natch – to one of my very favorites. But I guess he should be happy that I didn’t call him ‘gay’ or a ‘girl’ like I usually do.

Pictures to come soon because Common and Jamie Foxx are some sexy motherfuckers.

(Also to come soon apropos of the fact that I’m watching right now: Why is Cami such a fucking bitch??)

Summer’s End

September 8, 2006 | Filed under: La Madre

“Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it.” ~Russel Baker

So a little bit of a newsflash that I’ve been seeing just about everywhere: Summer is over, school is back in session and mothers across the country (world too I suppose) are rejoicing and there is confetti and balloons and margaritas. I even received emails from the American University notifying me of Welcome Week activities on the quad and the Container Store is having a back to school sale and…and…nothing. Because this week feels exactly like the other 51 prior.

Here’s another fun fact about working that you don’t really think about when the HR department uses the phrase “And Blue Cross Blue Shield covers everything” quadruple exclamation point: The seasons? They all run together like one giant 365 day blob where you don’t even realize that it’s Christmas until sometime near December 15^th and by then you’re ordering maniacally from Barnes and Noble.

Maybe I’m feeling a bit cynical and off kilter because since last year – my first year of careerdom - I’ve had a pang of sadness come August, when I start to feel the changes in the air or I’m driving through the city and I see 47 eager Freshman in brand new Polos traipsing around Georgetown with their parents. Call it jealousy or whatever, but that’s how I’m feeling.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy my job and I like working and having a new sense of freedom and the ability to make my own decisions. Though daunting, it can also be exhilarating that I’m doing things that I really want to do and no one can tell me otherwise. But it is also so terribly hard to go from having all the time in the world and vacations and summer camp and a week to just ‘BE’ on a beach somewhere far far away. It’s as if one day I had all of those things – and of course complained because summer camp was just so terribly difficult – and the next day *poof*. Gone.

I’d be remiss not to mention that I did just return from a (very brief) vacation (Read: long weekend) in lovely Martha’s Vineyard. Though nice, I do recall sitting around one afternoon watching MSNBC and hearing that people need actual week long vacations in order to keep from wanting to step out in traffic. The ‘experts’ also made it very clear that a ‘long weekend’ just doesn’t cut it. Upon hearing this I whimpered.

I need a time machine. So that I can be transported back to 1998 – hell, 2003 – and be forced to take a vacation or to nap without having to worry about what I would be leaving behind or coming back to. Hindsight is so very 20/20. It’s amazing how little I appreciated the Christmas break, winter break, spring break and blizzards. If only I could do it all over again, but this time with feeling.

So hard

September 7, 2006 | Filed under: La Madre

“Sleep ’til you’re hungry, eat ’til you’re sleepy.” ~Author Unknown

I’ve had a long and particularly trying week. Trying in a sense that it is all my fault and I’m getting myself all worked up over nothing. I feel like I need an assistant of sorts to keep me on my ‘A’ game and to remind me of the little things. Thank God for the Franklin-Covey, though I should probably be using it more. I suppose I like the idea and accessibility of a planner but I never put it to good use.

As ‘difficult’ as my life has been, what with the driving up and back to Martha’s Vineyard (did you know that the I95 corridor is far larger in real life than on a map?) and my general lamenting, I cannot complain. As others seem to have it far harder than I:

Because apparently having someone else bathe, clothe and feed you is so very exhausting. I can see how it can be really hard to live a life that complicated. Hell, some days I feel like falling asleep while eating as well. Life must really be so hard for him. I feel for you man, really, I do.

(Also, another reason for why I probably shouldn’t have children as I obviously getting food from container to mouth is a bit of a challenge for me. My children would all starve to death.)