A crush
August 16, 2006 | Filed under: La Madre
“That’s why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they’d call them something else” – Sixteen Candles
No matter how I word it, no matter the eloquence I attempt or the wittiness I try to portray; there really is no other way to say it than to blurt it out: I have a crush.
(Insert girly screams here)
But actually don’t insert the girly screams, because I am not a girly screamer. Instead of blushing and wooing and awesome amounts of flirting. I retreat and think “oh fuck” because I loathe crushes. I detest the word ‘crush’ even more. But is there a better word? A potential interest? God, I sound awful and woefully pathetic and nothing sounds pretty because it is, what it is, and it’s unfortunate.
I actually get these pangs of wonderfulness toward the opposite sex once a year and we’re being real literal here. Once. A. year. Other than that, I live my life in peace and relative normalcy, not giving a damn about what I may say or do or act, because I only have to think about myself (I’m selfish like that). But when that feeling hits, instead of becoming giddy, I cower and wait for my personal feelings to abate. Because they must eventually.
Why I do this could be accredited to dozens of things from general fear to “daddy issues” but if another uses that term, well, I’ll just have to cut you. Now I find myself sullen and full of blah, because as with the past, it will most likely need to a vast amount of nothingness, but that’s just how these things work.
Now would be an excellent time to cue up reasons for why HB is still single, but then this would be a stunning 275 page novel of why I am so painfully cynical and pessimistic, with annotated footnotes to boot. And we wouldn’t want that now would we?
*And for all of you playing at home, noticing that this is the one and only time in 315 posts that I’ve mentioned any sort of relationship type anything, it’s because lo I am relationship inept and can’t get past the ‘crushing’ (seriously find a better word) phase without going into “HB failure overload” and then the blue screen of death and BOOM.
Posted by nopasanada @ 2:00 pm
10 Responses to “A crush”
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Rhea says:
Tch, tch. “Still single” at 23. Don’t worry about it!!!!
Heather B. says:
No, not worried, just annoyed.
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater says:
It’s good to have a crush. I hope you rock his world!
Angela says:
God, I love crushes. Seriously. LOVE THEM. Honestly it’s the best part… once you get past the crushing part everything tends to go to shit.
Heather B. says:
Maybe it’s the cab and deliciousness of dinner talking, but for right now I’m going to go with it, even though I HATE (HATE) crushes and we’ll see. Though I doubt it will amount to anything, but whatever, it’ll be fun and as always, excellent blog fodder.
Bone says:
I would quote an apropos Jets song here. But then, there’s no reason to give you cause to think I’m any odder than you already do.
Good luck with the annual crush though.
Heather B. says:
Jets? Whaaaat? I know not of what you are speaking of.
durr. I’m 22 not an idiot.
Ok and since it’s annual crush time around here, let’s take a vote: To tell or not to tell? That is the question.
MappyB says:
Crushes are the best and they used to be my reason to wake up in the morning! There is nothing better than waking up, hoping to see the crushee. It makes your whole day!
Now….to tell….that’s a big step. Sometime there is something just fun to keep the crush a crush. BUT, if you want more, you have NOTHING to lose, you know? Nothing at all! I say go for it!
Pink Lemonade Diva says:
yah yah, you unpeel another layer for us Heather B! Enjoy the crushing!
And does this mean you’ve finally seen Sixteen Candles?
sparkles anonymous! says:
I think disclosing depends on how you know thishere crush, and how much mutual flirting there has been.
Crossing my fingers for no blue screen of death!